Ragas and RaGas

Indian classical music is known for its ragas, and many have myths and legends associated with them. It is said that when Tansen, a musician in Akbar's court sang Raag Deepak, the lamps would light up, and when he sang Malhar, the rains would come down.

I propose that we learn the appropriate ragas for the following-

Peezza raga, to make a pizza appear in less than 30 minutes.

Percentage raga, to get whatever percent grades in any exam. Teachers can stay at home.

Good hair raga, to make your hair fall in place and behave. salons and shampoos, goodbye.

Border raga, to solve border disputes with Pak and China.

Adrushya raga to make lousy TV serials, and dance shows disappear forever.

Book raga, to make any book you wish for appear in full text, free..the author reading it out for you.

Chai raga to make tea available on tap. Coffee will still need you to go to Starbucks/Coffee Day and spend 200 bucks.

Brownie raga, so you can score brownie points with your friends, maybe by making selfies appear from places you have never been to..

and of course, the Women's Empowerment raga, perfected by RaGa, to make women empowered instantly.

Rana Pratap the Great

Someone  has demanded that Rana Pratap be named 'the Great' . I quite agree. But then I thought a little, and decided that we must crown these people/things who/which also achieve greatness in their own way. Like-

Officials in municipal corporations who cannot see traffic, dirt, dry taps, overflowing garbage dumps.

Sportspeople who are unconcerned about sportsmanship.

Bookies who can fix anything that can be fixed.

IPL audience who can watch any number of games with enthusiasm. .
and their global equivalents by any name (game).

Serial killers-sorry, killer serials that occupy a lot of minds.

Dance shows, likewise..for promoting athletics rather than dance.

Home buyers of treadmills..who keep them in pristine condition..unused.

Bloggers who continue to write, regardless of readers ...

Delhi Government and Governance

What is governance? The Delhi governance imbroglio inspired this one.

Defence is a part of it, and so is law and order.

Apart from these, it should ideally be, at least in a democracy, people who serve the citizens. Citizen services include transportation, housing, health, water, drainage, education and so on. How to provide these in a fair and just manner is what the government needs to decide- and implement.
It does not include showing undue favours, transferring officials every few months, or wasting time on activities detrimental to providing services to citizens.

Democratic governments can do a lot of damage by not doing any of the things they need to do. Also by doling out free goodies to sections of people (or all the people) forever. That kills motivation to work for a living. The poor and helpless deserve help but usually don't get it.

Also, by wasting time in controlling the private sector without a good reason. Rules can be framed transparently, and independent regulators with professionals left to regulate various sectors.

The challenges are vast, and sometimes technology can help. Applications for a passport, ration card, driver's license (barring the test itself), registration of land, and many more can easily be made online with scanned documents and verification within a time-bound manner ( a service guarantee?) by officials concerned. If not, it should be deemed correct. Responsibility must shift to the officials for proving anyone wrong. This would improve governance manifold.

Group Discussion for Selection

Yes, but for selecting directors of IIMs, according to a news item. Strange, maybe. Out of the box, certainly. So I thought I will lay out some more of these out of the box selection procedures for various positions.

Air hostesses-ability to wriggle in and out of the tight dresses..the fastest gets selected. Breeds punctuality.

Pilots- ability to stop breathing for a few hours- to clear the breathalyser test, of course.

Students- ability to copy and paste from different online sources without citing references.

Facebook employees- those who can modify their face from bookish to presentable, proved through a pouting selfie

Google employees- ability to bowl a googly..or a doosra.

Film extras for group dances- wriggle various body parts separately or together on demand.

Heroes- A criminal record or a case filed at the minimum.

Heroines- at least one honourable scandal.

Observations on Road Travel

Road travel takes a toll. And inefficiently, at that. The toll amounts are not in round figures, leading to huge delays in taking or giving change. One does not mind paying, but can't the process be easier? That's true of every payment made to anyone, actually. Message for all service marketers- make life convenient, and customers will pay. Offer excellent service, likewise.

We have made a lot of progress in road quality, but speed breaker (the term is a funny one too) quality is atrocious. Needs lot of thought on humane speed-breaking. Without breaking necks.

Went on a quick road trip Pune-Mumbai to attend a wedding reception of a friend's daughter. These observations are born out of that. Thankfully, on a Sunday, the traffic was manageable. If not, I would have taken a bus. And saved my neck from the breakers.

Piku-Film Review

This is an unusual film, but an endearing one. And contains two of my favourite actors as of now- Deepika and Irrfan. Irrfan won my heart with his Lunchbox performance, and Deepika with hers in Finding Fanny recently. It is unusual in its choice of subject- the bowel movements of a seventy-year old man, Deepika's father in the film. His obsession with his constipation is the major point of discussion in almost all the scenes in the movie, from Delhi to Kolkata, where the story moves. The really unusual thing is an irritating dad, instead of an ideal maryadapurushottam type-quite real.

But it is the realism which makes the film endearing. The acting, the dialogue, the situations are all quite normal in a middle class (ok, upper middle class) family. The additional factor that made it easy to understand for me, is that I lived for a year in CR Park, the Bong enclave in Delhi where it all starts- Bongs are a unique species in many ways, and the Kolkata part of this film brings it home more starkly.

Anyway, like the Sherlock Holmes story, it is important to note that what is NOT in the film is also notable-violence (except verbal), item numbers, garishness of any kind (except in wayside dhabas), and vulgarity. The doctor's and the servant's characters are also interesting, and make you nostalgic.

Behind the simply narrated story, there are several messages. See if you get them by watching Piku. That's Deepika's nickname, another Bong tradition.

Munnar Musings

Going to God's own Country, Kerala, makes you susceptible to musings. Atal Behari Vajpayee mused when in Kumarakom. So did I, between bouts of Golf in Munnar. We drove from Coimbatore there, but you can also drive from Aluva or Kochi in Kerala, the nearest points of entry by air (known to me)-about 4 hours by road. Trichy or Madurai too, a little longer I guess-5-6 hours, maybe. We saw a lot of windmills turning out power on the drive from Coimbatore. Chinnakalan is actually where we stayed (at Sterling Resorts, pic below), about 20 kms. away from the golf course which is close to the town. It is a town that reminded me of Coonoor, or Kotagiri

.

The quiet greenery only turns boisterous in the town centre, with lots of taxis (jeeps are ubiquitous), autos and tourists jostling for space. The wannabe guides are many, wanting to show you around. Since we were focused on golf, we did not use their services.

Half the town is owned by the Kannan Devan plantations of the Tata group, and another quarter by the Harrisons Malayalam group, both into growing tea. The Malayali tea shops were in good numbers all over, and so were the shops selling fresh crop from the plantations, along with spices, oils and home-made chocolates. It rained in the afternoons, but we managed a good game thanks to the friendly staff, in the mornings.

My major musings were that-

1. We make too much of a fuss about the small things, while the big ones remain unattended.
2. It takes (a lot of) practice to get good at anything.
3. It is great fun to go on road trips with a bunch of guys you know well.

And no, we did not take a selfie! Nor did we eat Muesli while we mused.

Golf in Pics

Went to Munnar with my pals Vijayakumar, Gadgil and Dhanapal over the last few days. The pics from High Range Club there- more musings from there later.