Shubh Mangal Saavdhaan- Film Review

Good film, and enjoyable for most part.

It stars the wonderful pair of the expressive Ayushmaan Khurana and the lovely Bhumi Pednekar (from Dum Laga Ke Haisha), and takes you through an Online Arranged-cum-Love match, and both are excellent. In my own view, Bhumi is a shade better in this one.

Everything is hunky-dory with the match until he discovers he has a "Gents Problem," in his own words. The world calls it erectile dysfunction, mostly. The angst that both feel, and how the rest of the universe conspires to either help them along or force them to break up forms the rest of the story. It has many ups and downs, and keeps the audience sympathetic most of the time. The rant at the end by Ayushmaan was probably unnecessary, but the rest of it is a cute film touching on a somewhat touchy (or rather, unpsoken) topic. The support cast is decent too, and keep the movie light through their comic dialogue. The 'Alibaba reaching the gufa' dialogue is the funniest in a long time on the subject.

Produced by Anand Rai, who has also produced or directed some of my favourite films in recent times -Happy Bhag Jayegi, Tanu Weds Manu 1 and 2.

It's Not Just the Wines

We lay too much emphasis on what others tell us is good. It's not just the wines though.

The experts tell us what to do in many spheres of life. And we listen to them. Sometimes they are right. More often, they are wrong. Any person of average intelligence knows what's good for him. But this is clouded by what others (experts or not) keep signaling to us.

You can only do so much to please others. That also ends up not pleasing you. There has to be a balance. " Not listening" to someone- particularly elders- is considered a sin in our society, and the popular refrain of parents is "he/she doesn't listen to me". While the parental anguish is justified when the kid is a kid, this persists when the kid is a grown-up too. That's when he/she needs to discover himself, make a few mistakes of his own, and learn.

In adulthood too, we have know-alls who have a solution to every problem. These guys are dangerous. You need to think for yourself, and this skill can only develop through practice. Who was it that said, " I think, therefore I am?" He was right.

Sudhir Kakar’s Book of Memories

India’s best known psychoanalyst is good to read. He has recounted in this autobiographical book various episodes in his eventful life. One is about his growing up years and career choices- unsurprisingly, driven by his father’s ideas of what he should be doing. Which he did at first, under protest. But at some point, partly after his meetings with Erik Eriksson, the Harvard psychologist in Ahmedabad, he decided to follow his calling and go for it. His dad later admitted his mistake in driving him away from it.

He also recounts how Vikram Sarabhai prevailed on Nehru to set up IIMA at Ahmedabad instead of Mumbai and why. The reason was not entirely professional, he candidly admits. It appears there was a relationship between Sarabhai and Sudhir’s aunt Kamala, and both were at Ahmedabad. This was one reason that drove him to set up the institute there.

There are a lot of insights into how he set up, with great difficulty, a psychoanalysis practice at Delhi, and how entire families got involved in an individual’s case- particularly if the patients were women- daughters or daughters-in-law!

An interesting read, with many observations about Indian psychological and sociological predilections. Those with an interest, should read it for a look at these and more.

Parenting Blues

Just attended a panel discussion as a panel member titled 'Duvidha'- about confusion faced by parents of 9th class students about careers and life, and parenting. Rather scary, but had a few good panelists for company, including an IAF pilot, a Doctor, a theatre personality, so not so scary in the end. It was organised by One Foundation, an NGO in Nagpur.

Very interesting. Coincidentally, am reading a book written by Bill Cosby, the star of the Cosby Show, a very popular TV show of the 80s in the U.S., which talks about similar issues about the Black community in the U.S. The book, titled 'Come On, People', is meant to make parents aware of their responsibility in child-rearing if they decide to have children. He talks about the bad effects of gangsta rap, black English and other bad role models in media for black kids.

Bill Cosby was a very successful TV artist, and through light comedy, touched on a lot of important issues like parental control, kids' behaviour particularly teenage behaviour and so on.

The panel discussion got a very enthusiastic response from Nagpur parents, with a hall full of people who were invisible, because the spotlight was on the stage. Focused on our inspirations for our careers, and whether things were planned, or aided by parental or other pressures. A variety of choices and circumstances emerged, and there were probably some takeaways for everyone. For example, letting kids make the final decision about careers, after providing them some advice- Indian parents are still playing God too often.

Parenting in India

Are you admission-savvy? This is a million-dollar question to which you have to answer a "yes" if you want to be a successful Indian parent. From K.G. to P.G and beyond, you have to learn to be a submissive moron with a generous bent of mind, to be able to succeed in the eternal quest for admissions for your kid, something like the fired-up Knights of the Round Table of ancient times. New times, new avatars! Also, a strong belief in God helps, coz otherwise, whom do you curse in case the quest fails?
Therefore, to find out if you have what it takes, answer the question above. And thou shalt know.