If Movies were Made on Topical Issues

 If they were made on current happenings, their titles might be-

1. Khul ja Hormuz

2. Mamata ki Kshamata

3. Hormuz- Kabhi khushi de kabhi gham

4. LPG- a Neverland

5. Hormuz ki dum Tedhi ki Tedhi

6. Iran Yuddh ka Kahufnaak Sach

7. Israel ki Giraft mein Trump

8. Vijay hi asli cheez hai

9. Keralam aur Raga- ek Prem Kahani

Election Results 2026

 Exit polls were Ok in Bengal and Assam, also in Kerala, but off in Tamil Nadu (except one I think).

Change happened in all states except Assam.

Maybe the lesson is that everything has an expiry date. Dictator or democrat, doesn't matter. Sometimes elections displace them, sometimes a revolution, or an assassination.

Many a time, electors have limited choices. They vote for what seems most likely to benefit, or least likely to harm them.

Congress ruled at the Centre for a long, long time. So did the Communists in Bengal. But at some point, the need for a change became apparent, and it happened. So it is this time.

And yes, the name Vijay helps you win. Not just in Hindi films. 

My Predictions for the Elections in Summer 2026

 It's fashionable to predict what will happen. It also was lucrative at one point. Now, if a party funds you, it may still be.

But I am adding a twist to the prediction game. I am predicting how things may turn out for people like you and me- the Aam Admi, in whichever state the elections are happening. Names ending in 'ni' not included.

1. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

2. Petrol prices will rise. So will a few other essentials, partly to offset doles announced.

3. Liquor prices may rise, for the same reason as above.

4. The first six months will look as if there are bright days ahead.. not using acchhe din, as it's copyrighted.

5. From month 7 to the next election, it will seem like a long wait for change. Refer to 1 above.

Noise and Elections

 The brouhaha over elections in some Indian states is almost over. The counting is on May 4th, a big day for individual contenders and the Parties in the fray. So who will celebrate with a party on that day?

I don't have any guesses, because the Indian voter throws up surprises quite often. What now seems like a pattern, is that Southern States will vote a regional party, but I have no idea what Bengal will do.

But whoever wins, the lot of the common man seems to change very little. Jobs are probably stagnant, and so are wages at the bottom of the (large) pyramid. So what will anyone in that position gain from whoever comes to power is a moot point.

The elite usually continue to flourish, no matter who wins. The era of big ticket reforms kicked off in 1991 is almost over, and India will continue growing at 5-7 percent, due to its large population, as a whole. How that translates into the well-being of different segments is what really matters. 

Sloganeering

 Elections are back, in a few states. My former state of residence, Karnataka, very soon, and my current state of residence, Madhya Pradesh, a few months later. So I thought I would coin a few slogans for anyone who might use them. I would claim royalty, please remember..

Sev your pals, from Indore and Bhopal. Vote XYZ.

Ee saala IPL cup hamara hai. Vote for ABC

You got free swimming pools earlier. Now we promise you diving boards.. in Bangalore.

The Metro will be built, including the Bannerghatta Road stretch, the new MG road station, the airport connection..we just don't know when..

We will develop M.P. and make it the Export hub, the I.T. hub, the Food Processing Hub, and the eating-out hub.. no spokes will be allowed!

Belgaon will become Belshahar, one of the most developed cities. If you vote ABCD.

Dharwad will compete with Harvard. 

Marching Along

Left, right, left.. is one way to do it. It is much more humdrum in finance and academia- we reach the financial year-end in finance, and academic year-end in academia.

But it also brings on a season of wonderful memories of the year gone by, of faces you will not see (for some time)- the students graduating, or going on a hiatus for the summer. And of course, the anticipation of a hot summer followed by cool rains in the Indian monsoon. This year, hotting up the summer will also be a General Election to India's Parliament.

I am more of a Governance animal than a political animal, so I am more interested in the WHAT rather than the WHO of governance. I just expect and want the governance to be good, and keep score on that count. A person or a party is the medium who may (or may not) accomplish that, and is therefore secondary to the WHAT. I have, over the years, visited several countries and lived in one (the U.S.), and I feel we have a long way to go in improving governance in almost every sphere. Public transport is one which affects millions in our cities, and must be made world-class. It is nice to see some metros under construction or near completion, and those may solve commuting problems of many.

In my view, all the governments (maybe with one or two exceptions), starting with Narasimha Rao's in 1991, have done a lot to improve things in some sphere or another, and let's hope that continues with the new one to take charge in the coming months. All the best to us, citizens.

My Election Manifesto

I am not a political party, just a common voter. My election manifesto (resemblances to other manifestos is coincidental. No politicians were harmed during the writing of this) if I were one,
would read-

1. No speeches..what a relief!
2. If elected (a remote chance, but you never know- Deve Gowda became Prime Minister once),

• Free education and healthcare. Everything else, you do on your own steam
• Where will the money come from? From taxing the people who have excess money and don't know what to do with it, for the first few years..after that, maybe other sources. Simple maths will tell you that you can save around 50,000 crores by removing wastage of various kinds..enough to start with.
• No personal income tax..(resemblance to other manifestos is coincidental!)...instead, any other scheme which taxes consumption, but at a reasonable rate).
• Free Swiss citizenship for all who have Swiss bank account- and a one-way ticket. Same for other tax havens.

More promises only after these have been implemented.

No Debate About This

...at least in my mind. TV debates by Presidential (or any other) candidates are so predictable and boring. They talk of the economy, statistics, housing starts, and budget deficits.

I am all for our brand of unrestrained potshots at everyone and everything-far more interesting.

Speeches are more fun..and when people rally to them voluntarily (!) you know that they are captivated by the stuff they get to hear, such as how the opposing party has ruined the country, and given a chance, will ruin it further.

How they have stashed money in Swiss banks, and given us a raw deal. How they are born from a long line of criminals, unlike our own party (applies to anyone who's the speaker) which is pure as driven snow (Snow White was from OUR khandan).

How we will make Mumbai a Shanghai, and you shall not be Shanghaied in the process. One great personality had promised to make Bihar's road as smooth as the cheeks of Hema Malini, the Dream Girl of Bollywood- I kid you not!

Where will all the GDP numbers and debates lead you, I ask, when you have the Happiness Index soaring after listening to such entertaining stuff?

No doubt, you will not want to debate this any further.

Anopheles Takes Stock

Anopheles, my winged friend, was back. Her first question to me was, "Why are you perpetually having elections?"

"Because we are a democracy, of course," I had to say.

"Yes, but so many of them? With so much of misleading misrepresentation of truth?"

"You can call them lies, I have no problem with the truth," I told her.

"But the real issues get side-tracked, don't you think?"

"Not really, the bullet train is still on track," I told her.

"Hope that's not the SILVER BULLET,  the end of the story," she replied. I could sense some sarcasm.

"No, of course not. We have Vikas."

"Who's he?" she was curious, having known some names of my human friends.

"Well, it's not a 'he'. It's a word for development, in Hindi."

"Oh, you mean the stuff that's happening ever so slowly since the British left you to your own devices?"

I was amazed at her knowledge of history AND electoral rhetoric.

"And how are all the bans doing?" she persisted. And I started counting them...I promised her an update on her next visit, along with the election results, and went back to sleep.

Shakespeare Updated 2017

Applying the timeless quotes from Shakespeare's works.

He came, he saw, he conquered- Modi in U.P.

To be, or not to be- RaGa as the face of Congress.

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.- The wal of Kejri.

Men at some time are masters of their fates. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.” -- U.P. voters

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. -  Applies to a lot of people strutting around in our lives. (You can have a go at applying it.)

What Elections Mean- to us and the US

They give you an illusion that you (and they) are going to change the world, most of the time. If that were true, it should have changed every five years- or four. Sometimes, your world changes for the better. More often, it remains the same, because the visible portion of the government changes, and the invisible remains more or less the same. Where are the big ideas that will change lives dramatically? I fail to see what either Hillary or Trump will do in that direction. Nothing that I heard in the flashes of the debates that I saw gave me even a clue.

So it may not really change anything for most of the people in the U.S., if I can make a prediction. And to think that India needs a particular President in the U.S. to do well itself is really foolish. We have to pull up our socks and work at it, in more ways than one. One of these ways is stop expecting any miracles from our government, and work harder if we want to see results.

You could of course, dismiss these as ramblings of an apolitical citizen. And you would be right!

Hillarious Observations on the 2016 Elections

Now that we are close to the end of a tragi-comic sequence of events leading to many Americans wishing that they had more Trudeau (pun intended) with candidate selection, we can brace for the aftermath.

If Trump gets elected, I will start a wall-building company, before Hiranandani or other construction companies get in. The Mexican border is big, and can keep me rich for 4 years.

If Hillary becomes President, I will start an email-destroying company, and get rich. If a mere secretary of state destroyed 35,000, imagine how many a Prez can destroy?

The Pentagon may be re-named The Hexagon, with a multi-faced President deciding that 5 sides are too few.

Ab ki baar, Trump sarkar, ya Hillary ke achche din aa gaye? Tension is increasing. Fox (news) is panting, and the stock markets are watching. Voters, I am sure, are wondering..what to do.



 

My Vote Goes To...

It's voting time...in the U.S. Since we are more concerned with McD rather than Kamat's it is quite natural that I should be concerned about their next President rather than our next PM. I have put out strong arguments for and against some of their major candidates. I don't know if betting on an election in the U.S. is legal, but you would do well to pay heed, if it is.

Hillary- In case you did not know, she is the (aggrieved) wife of former Prez Bill Clinton, of Monica fame. Going by our standards, she deserves a sympathy vote. But since you can't trust a woman with a hand on the nuclear button (American view, not mine), she is ruled out.

Bernie Sanders- He is old, and talks sense on important issues like education (instead of war)- can you imagine this in gun-lobby-controlled America? What does he think of himself? A humanist? He is fighting (pun unintended) a lost cause. Therefore, I cannot vote for him.

Donald Trump- now that is what I call a candidate. (No, he is NOT the CEO of McDonald's). A big mouth, a funny wig, and foot permanently located in a part of the body that is guaranteed to produce laughter- the mouth! Even if we tried competing against this stalwart, we'd lose. And I hate losing. Therefore, my vote goes to Donald. After Mickey, he is my favourite cartooon character too.

Is Five Years Too Long?

Elected reps should be able to do their job if they want to, in about three years time, if they really worked hard. They can concentrate on one proble/issue at a time for about a month, and leave the rest to someone to do, and monitor things from then on. If you can solve one major issue a month (put the best available brains/teams on doing so), you can do at least 24-30 in three years.

I think we could have elections every three years, to make that happen. Five years seems too long, and gives people time to waste on irrelevant things.

Swinging the Vote

I was watching a bit of the election results and "analysis" on the news channels. Results of Maharashtra and Haryana state elections in India. There are a few things that I concluded.

1. Modi is a vote-puller.

2. Rahul Gandhi is a vote-killer.

3. All others are in-between.

4. Pawar may finally be forced to stay away from power.

5. MNS seems to be headed nowhere with their anti-UP, Bihar rhetoric.

6. Young voters are increasingly voting more intelligently than the old ones (our gen) used to.

7. Better governance than the current one is a near-certainty.

Election Graffiti

Elections are usually the time for acerbic wit, and even usually docile people suddenly get animated. Some of the gems that keep popping up have to do with nicknames- Pappu, Pheku, Maut ka saudagar,  and so on.

A new title was coined after the very notorious weapon of mass destruction, aka the AK-47. This one is known as AK-49, named after the party founder who first did a sit-in, and then a walk-out from his own government, all in just 49 days. His cap and muffler have provided wonderful fodder to all the cartoonists around. A cartoon showed NaMo cough syrup as an antidote to his recalcitrant cough.

The case of the pot calling the kettle black is also pretty prevalent. Every party blames the other for all kinds of omissions and commissions (I am not referring to commissions of enquiry here, they are a saga unto themselves), as if they are comprised of saints and Mahatmas.  I wonder if the holier-than-thou posturing comes from having celebrated Holi recently! It is quite amusing to see banalities and generalities being bandied around with gay (used in a hetero context) abandon.

But the bottomline for me is that the election continuing to be fought every five years on the same issues, even after 65 odd years. Gives you a feeling of having been gypped, doesn't it?

Election Speech 1

Potentially, there could be many for the upcoming elections. This is a first attempt, so please excuse glitches. I promise to get better with time-

Brothers and sisters (and all the rest),

I promise that it will be a never-ending party. I mean, India will never grow up. We will remain teenaged party-lovers, always -starting with Valentine's Day of 14th Feb fame. You are all invited, except for the owls and other party-poopers, I mean.

Our country has had a great tradition of parties- only, we suitably disguise them as family functions or religious occasions. Countless times, I have attended The Great Indian Wedding, which runs for days, and has costumes which would put erstwhile monarchs to shame. This is all for a good cause, lest you scream "conspicuous consumption." Our detractors may scream all they want, but think of the hungry weavers, spinners (no, not of our party yarns, the real ones), cotton growers and cloth merchants who are able to feed their hungry ones because of these.

I promise that we at our party will serve food that is cooked in pure desi ghee, again aimed at benefiting our home-grown dairy industry, and keeping the greedy multinationals away.

And of course, we will provide everybody jobs in catering to the Great Indian Party that never ends. Think of the impact on our doddering GDP growth! Thank you, and hope for your support.

Ullu ki Dum (Tail of an owl)- I mean, Jai Hind!

Anopheles and Elections 2014

Anopheles, my female mosquito pal visited me yesterday after a long time. She was curious about the elections of 2014. We got talking.

" Can you tell me what is the significance of these elections?" she asked me.
"Well, we have these big two political parties, and then 250 other parties, and we all have a party at the cost of the parties, but they make money by swindling us for five years, so it's actually a party thrown at our cost, to put it simply," I tried explaining.

"And who are contesting, if I may ask?" Anopheles wanted to know.

"Well, there's a religious greeting, and there's a musical composition."
"What do you mean?" She didn't quite get it.

"I mean, the major candidates are Namo and Raga. That's what these names signify."
"Oh, that way. I have tried stinging them, but the Z level security they have was impenetrable."

"Well, they have promised F or FOOD security for all the rest, if not Z," I said.
"And what are the election issues?" Anopheles innocently carried on.

I said, "The same as they were in any earlier one. Poverty, bad infrastructure, good governance..."
She was surprised. " You mean after 1947, not much has changed? "

I said, " We have, we used to expect the moon. Now we are grateful for a piece of earth. And some cooking gas cylinders."

On that note, she promised to fly in again and said goodbye, as she still had to find her dinner in a STING operation.

My manifesto for 2014 elections

No, I am not entering politics. But politicians are welcome to steal the ideas here. Free.

That the Lok sabha will be used to support aspirations of the average Joe. There will be an invited speaker to voice them, once every week. And no one will create a ruckus while he/she speaks. Like TED talks.

Roads built will be of good quality.

There will be no moral policing of any kind, until the elected reps prove that they have some.

Women (and men) will be respected. Children too.

We will not blindly ape the West. But good governance and civic sense will be aped. Spitting will attract a HUGE fine.

Healthcare will be a basic right, and anyone found corrupt in it will be shot.

PGDM will be renamed MBA, and FPM, Ph.D. The institutes will remain autonomous, and degree granting.

Election Time

Election tamasha is on for the upcoming Lok Sabha polls. In Bangalore it's on 23rd April. There is virtually no new idea from anyone, though it seems like a few professionals and intellectuals have joined the fray this time. That's a good sign.
The other tamasha is that of IPL, cricket played in 20 overs each, just right for today's age. Total of about 3 hrs, just about Ok for our low spans of attention. The first two matches brought unexpected results, with Bangalore and Hyderabad actually winning! Great for the game of 'glorious uncertainties', as Lala Amarnath used to say on radio before TV took over commentary.
We have a faculty workshop coming up for our faculty at Yercaud this weekend. This will be interesting, as we will debate teaching-learning innovations and some other fundas like the changing role of a faculty member at a Business school.