Presidents and Paupers

 There is an old joke attributed to a Tamil actor.. that going to an engineering college makes you an engineer, but going to Presidency College does not make you a President.

On the same lines,

-studying Sociology does not make you social

- nor does studying Psychology make you a psycho

- or studying Commerce does not make you commercial

-nor does studying Arts make you an artist.

One can go on.. what about Management? Think of a good one? Or will you be a dog in the manger?

Life Goals and Surnames

 Are your life goals determined by your surname? 

At least in India, these are my hypotheses-

Agarwals want to own a Sweet shop.

Bansals want to do a flip-flop, or start a Flipkart. 

Sonis want to strike Gold, in what they do.

Burmans want to either go into music or Ayurvedic medicine, like Dabur.

Patels want to own motels- in the U.S.

Singhs from Punjab want a Canadian citizenship.

Dash-es want to be dashing cops.

Jhas want to make pickles branded as Jhaji.

Bannerjees want to carry banners and protest.

Boses want to add an 's' and become bosses.

Deys want to be knighted.

South Indians usually have no surnames, so either they are goal-less, or have the same goals. In case of Andhra/Telangana, the goal is to settle in the U.S. and maybe in Kerala, to get a job in the Gulf. 

Random Thoughts About Teaching Life

 Life in teaching is strange, in multiple ways. You go through a lot of perspiration, not knowing how the students will receive the preparation. After the class, sometimes there is exhilaration, and sometimes, frustration. 

But there are many moments that make you thankful about having chosen to teach, rather than sell soap (note, I have nothing against the soap-makers- they are doing a brilliant job of keeping us clean). Or being a politician. It requires too much energy, for one.

The quiet contemplation is one big plus. (Reading is another). Always being on tenterhooks as you prepare for the next class (not calling it a lecture, deliberately. I think the Last Lecture was delivered a few years ago). 

Planning an activity, an exam or an assignment was my big thing. Most classes, in the last few years, my talk time was about 50 percent of the class duration, or less. In Ph.D. seminar courses, it was around 5 percent.

Watching students grow, if you are fortunate to keep in touch, is a joy in itself. I love alumni parties or meetups for this reason. Not just academically, but you can see a person shaping up, from a raw student whom you met a few years before.

Cheers to students, and teachers. Both invaluable.

Why You Could Teach

I am going to try and sum up why I am into teaching, and let you figure out if you should.

I worked in industry after my MBA for two years- advertising and marketing research. Then I got a chance to get a Ph.D. in the U.S., and went for it. I started teaching as part of my scholarship, and found I liked it. After the Ph.D. in 1989, I started full-time teaching, and haven't stopped. Just a few years' break for admin./leadership roles, but I am back into full-time teaching now.

I find it's one of the most fulfilling professions around. Maybe barring a few-very few. Firstly, you are with young people, and that rubs off on you. You see lots of people who are idealistic, like you were (or are), who think they will change the world. Some actually will.

Given the numbers today, you may not remember every student by name, but they always remember you- for good or bad. I still remember most profs. who taught me in my MBA and Ph.D. classes- some more than others, because they gave me an A. Or their classes were different. Though I specialised in marketing, I remember the Org. Behaviour classes the most (in the MBA). In the U.S. the profs.' openness was amazing.

You can innovate, because in the class (and in exams) you are the boss. The only limit is your imagination.

The feedback is instantaneous. A bored look, an appreciative smile, a confused countenance, or whatever.

Plenty of scope for doing your own research too, if you work in a good B school. You can write cases, write data-based papers, attend conferences, organise them, work with bright, quirky people, in short have a lot of fun at work. And of course, read a lot as part of your job.

Reservashuns

There are Indian reservations in the US. No, it's not seats on a plane, or a job, that I am talking about. These are places where native Indians (pre-Columbus) can have their own lifestyle, a sort of autonomous region within the states.

In India, we have different kinds of reservations. For jobs. Imagine having reservations, in the following-

1. Cricket team (The Wall may have crumbled even before being built)
2. Docs in hospitals (population may reduce unintentionally)
3. Pilots (MH 370 would be just a blip on the radar of incidents)
4. Film acting (all Kapoors rendered jobless in one stroke- they may have to turn to agriculture, so that they still influence our culture)
5. Music- The Mangeshkar sisters would not have got an opportunity? Kishore Kumar would have been a stand-up artist.
6. Politics ( Mayawati might have been PM for 10 years instead of Manmohan Singh)
7. Car mechanics- you would have lots of fun driving a car, not knowing what would snap.
8. Builders- we can have a building collapse a day, easily beating world records.
9. Movie directors- "frankly, my dear," this would not change anything!
10. Blog writers. You know what, I might just hang up my boots.

Rahat Indori

Just trying to recollect people with names like the headlined one. The film line had a few, like Sahir Ludhianvi, Hasrat Jaipuri, Majrooh Sultanpuri, Firaqt Gorakhpuri, etc.

In our side (hamaare wahan) it is common to have a 'kar' suffixed to the gaon- as in Nargund 'kar' rather than an 'i' like the above example. An 'e' at the end as in Raje, Bhide, Gore, Khare (means 'true' in Marathi), Khote (means falsehood) also signifies some names in those places, though there are no place-names attached/embedded.

Srinath the fast bowler was from Javagal. AK Hangal presumably from Hangal, a place in Karnataka, and Prakash Padukone, you guessed it- from Padukone. By the way, so was Guru Dutt (he was not Bengali).

Surnames are often derived from professions or titles, like Mistry, Batliwala, Tailor, Carpenter, or Cabinetmaker. Or Joshi, Patwari and so on. Or how many Vedas you could claim mastery over- two, three or four (Dwivedi, Trivedi, Chaturvedi respectively).

Metamorphosing Professions

A tailor had lots of work in the good old days. He was much in demand, because machines had not 'learnt' how to make clothes by themselves. So he used to make you wait, first for measurement-taking, and then for fitting, and then for delivery of the promised liverie (if that's the right word).

The ironing and buttoning of clothes would invariably be in progress on the promised day, and you would have to cool your heels waiting for the stuff to make an appearance.

I am not sure what these guys are doing nowadays. Probably working like machines in one of those factories which mass-produce the stuff. Only emperors must be able to afford them to get their 'new clothes' stitched, I suppose.

Similar is the story of other professions. The only guys who have prospered are the guys who deal with the yellow metal, I presume. With skyrocketing demand (at least in India), their stock must be rising (pun was unintended).

Stock analysts, on the other hand, despite attempts to wreck the world economy fairly successfully, are in constant demand and expound on the virtues of this stock or that based on 'expert analysis'- taking us towards the next (inevitable) crash. Because what's made of paper, can have only so much value for so long. The mighty Pounds, Dollars and Yens will one day find themselves in the dumps. Like their older counterparts.

Contributions by Different Professions

What is the contribution of every profession to society at large? Yes, it is an important issue that the world needs to take cognizance of- more so because we have run out of things to say about global warming, end of the world aka doomsday circa 2012, and other glorious topics. So let me initiate another debate of epic proportions.

Engineers contribute the bridges we walk or drive on. Software engineers write code that works to enable us to look up Wikipedia instead of using our brains.

Poets contribute by making us long for love and find despair, and express it in nice words. Craftsmen create works of art that we like to look at but not buy. Manufacturing workers and their bosses help mass-produce things that we don't like to look at most of the time, but buy.

Accountants help to keep tabs on things that are tough to keep tabs on, as Satyam and Enron prove once in a few years. Marriage planners help you get into holy matrimony, so they are the reps for heaven, where these matches are actually made. Match fixers of a different kind.

Bollywood producers help you to spend a few happy hours watching a fantasy and many more hours discussing it. Ekta Kapoor of TV serial production achieves the same in multiples with the same story in 100 serials/shows with a different cast. Her patented technique for time-wasting shots is a tribute to film-making.

Dance shows contribute by showing you the various ways you can twist and turn the body- just to earn the approval of jobless judges. Talent shows in general discover your talent, and then leave you in the lurch, without the million rupee contracts that were promised before the show began.

Managers show how management is the easiest thing in the world, by choosing the option learnt from various case studies- by doing nothing. Ad professionals entertain everyone by being creative, and blaming competition for the sales not going up. If that's not creativity, what is?

Banks laugh all the way to the bank (is that an Oxymoron, or something?) by letting you park your money with them for nothing, so they can make loans to people who don't exactly feel obligated to return them. Financial analysts, likewise, advise you to park the money where it may never meet you again.

Climatologists keep everyone worried about a degree or two in weather change, so that global conferences can be held at the cost of polluting sponsors.

And the world goes on..and bloggers fulfill an important duty by blogging about all these guys.