Indian Obsessions

Government job.

Selecting the Indian cricket team/coach.

Subsidies- on anything.

Talking as if you are an expert on things you know next to nothing about.

Holier-than-thou feelings about our culture.

Same (as above) about your mother tongue.

Criticism of most food made outside our kitchen.

Slavery towards ideas originating in the White West.

Throwing garbage anywhere.

Driving recklessly.

Telling others what to do.

Getting your kids married.

Getting others' kids married.

Singing in Singapore

Well, not really, but sounds good as a title. And titles count for a lot. I would never watch a movie with a title like Prem Ratan Dhan Payo..for instance.

Anyway, Singapore after about 6 years again, for a conference hosted at NUS, was a nice experience. The conference itself was a mix of Canadian, Vietnamese, Chinese, Singaporean and Indian academics, and deliberations were nice and well-attended. A keynote speech from an exec of EMC was also useful. I presented a  case study on international marketing from an Indian (small) company.

Singapore is a lot of hype for such a small country, and some substance. I found the cleanliness and the MRT worth emulating for public transport in Indian cities. The taxi service is also easy to get hold of, and disciplined. The food options are multi-cultural and many. I found all major South Indian joints there, from MTR of Bangalore to Ananda Bhavan of Chennai, and Andhra/Hyderabadi Andhra Ruchulu in between.

The riverside Clark Quay is lovely in the evening. There is a surfeit of malls, in one of which I found a design-inspired store with quirkily designed products. A wide range, from purses and mugs to larger items. Thought that was a nice one. Shopping streets like the one in Bugis had an Indian feel to them. I was mostly doing the window-kind though.

The Sri Lankan Airways flights were surprising-a first for me. Smooth, courteous, and excellent-tasting food. Saying a lot for airline food, I guess.

Some pics for good measure-from a walk in the woods, and from Haw Par Villa, by the Tiger Balm founders..and a garden called Chinese Garden with some bonsai and a pagoda.

On Politeness

Continuing my observations about the Japanese, they are polite to a fault. We can probably learn this quality from them, if not how to run bullet trains and other trains-on time.

Being on time is also a sign of politeness, in my view. It indicates to others you are meeting that you value their time, and therefore, them. Indians are on the contrary, known for an Indian Standard Time that varies from 30 minutes to an hour or more after the announced time. It penalises the people who actually show up on time, and causes all sorts of problems.

But back to general politeness. It costs nothing, like a smile, and generates returns that may be manifold. It reduces tension, promotes flow of good feeling, and am sure, has health benefits to the one who is being polite. I am exempting situations where you may have to shed it in extreme circumstances, for good reasons.

Try it, for a day or two. We can then add it to our Swachchata Abhiyan (Cleanliness Drive). As soon as we find a Hindi word for it, of course.

Weekend Wanderings

When you wander out, you learn a lot. On some recent wanderings, I had the following great learnings.

The bus crowd behaves the best, particularly when it's a sleeper bus. The reason? It immobilises you, and you can only lie down, and do no mischief- except snore. In the case of air passengers, they try to achieve the same by putting the service trolley in the aisle, and preventing you from moving, but passengers take revenge by springing up like an unsprung toy doll the moment the plane lands, even before instructed. And then wait forever at the baggage belt for their checked luggage.

In trains, people move forever. Mostly to check on the loos. If there is water in the loo, or sometimes to inspect which one is clean enough to use. Immobilising strategies don't work, except on the train itself, for lack of a green signal, particularly just outside its destination station.

Also, in a train, you cannot escape constant noise- from vendors selling almost anything- I won't be too surprised if Airbus and Boeing salesmen started vending their wares through brochures soon. The platforms on stations give you choices of local delicacies, and now Railways are threatening to offer mobile apps for ordering food delivered to your coach. Soon, I can order a Hyderabadi biryani while in Nagpur- or maybe not.

All these apps aside, someone forgot to remind them that a Cleanliness Drive is sweeping the nation (pardon the pun). The cleanliness was better around twenty years ago. Well, one can either have gourmet food, coach-delivered, or cleanliness. Not both. Given the airline food, I'll take the gourmet food any day. And wait for cleanliness to arrive some day.

GK goes to PK's planet

We recently were visited by Mr. PK, an alien from somewhere, according to the movie PK starring Aamir Khan. What is likely to be discovered if we send our guy-let's call him GK- to PK's planet?

Nothing, except the inhabitants, and maybe carrot farms.

No clothes, hence no FTV channel (its USP doesn't exist)

No fights, hence no need for dialogues such as "(Hindi) Main tera khoon pee jaoonga, kaminey"

No religion, and therefore, no salvation

No love, and hence no hate

No lying, and therefore no facebook

No paper- only transmission of knowledge through holding hands

No God-men, and no discourses by God-men. A few more TV channels gone!

No spitting, and hence no need for a Cleanliness Drive, by whatever name

No political parties, and therefore no Arnab Goswami.

What the Prime Minister Cannot Do For You

Thought I would make it clear for those who think God and after him/her, the PM ought to do things for them. These are the things, folks, he cannot do for you.

1. Change your kid's diaper
2. Clean up your house and the adjacent plot where you dump your waste
3. Teach your kids (good) manners
4. Stop you from discriminating against your girl child
5. Stop you from taking/giving dowry
6. Help you be a nice human
7. Develop your potential and help you search for a suitable career
8. Entertain you by giving you one-liners like a stand-up comedian (or Lalu Yadav)
9. Fix your broken marriage
10. Grow things in your garden

A related joke that I am reminded of- A man complained to God that he wasn't looking after him. He was so unlucky compared to his fellow earthlings. Why, for instance, did he not win a lottery?
God replied that HE had made all arrangements for the man to win a lottery, but he had to buy a ticket first!