What it Takes to be a Baba

There are two categories of Babas (Holy Men)- one, those in jail, and two, who are not in jail.

We will concentrate on those that are out of jail. So, to be one, what do you need?

One, a working knowledge of Sanskrit and the names of the old texts like the Vedas, Upanishads and of course, The Bhagvad Gita. You need not know a lot about these, a stray shloka or excerpt will do, because none of your followers will actually read them.

That reminds me, you need followers to be an effective Baba. That is not so difficult. Our large population comes in handy. Find a few unemployed youth and offer them food and unlimited growth, and a place to stay.

Oh, yes, you need a place to call your own too. An ashram, in other words. You will have to ensnare a rich devotee quickly, one who may have some spare acreage lying unused, and promise him salvation, so that you get the land.

Now all you need is a nice name, and some robes-of any colour that's not taken by competing Babas. A beard may help- like a suit, it makes anyone look impressive. You are all set! You can make a career out of it..but stay out of jail, if possible.

Changing Roles

The roles, they are changing.

Kanhaiyya used to dance with the Gopis. Now, he shows bhai-chara with Laloo.

The farmers used to cultivate land. Now they don't know whom to cultivate, with all the politicians vying for their attention.

The bankers used to be conservative. Now you can't bank on it.

Kejriwal specialised in dharna. Even he now finds it Odd.

Trump built a fortune with his casinos. Now he plans to gamble the future of a country away.

Babas were once spiritual; now they are commercial.

Mallya was the King of Good Times. Now he's targeted by the Times.

Being backward was once infra dig. Now it's aspirational.

There were once Reality Shows. Now it's Virtual Reality.

Media Scams

In the good old days, there were some scoops- Dharam-Hema, Amitabh-Rekha, and other varieties, splashed across Stardust. Now there are scams- Harshad Mehta (stock-market scam), Lalit Modi-Shashi Tharoor-investors, blah, blah blah (IPL scam), Nirav Modi scam, Fodder scam, Abdul Karim Telgi (stamp paper scam),  Nityananda (the holy smoke scam), Ram-Rahim, Asaram, and a few other Babas in a jam...

What our scam-thirsty public can endure, or even cherish, we don't yet know. The boundaries of common decency and privacy have already been breached, and the paparazzi rule our lives- sometimes, a la episode Diana, causing deaths too.

Scams can get boring too, but then you have the IPL (not the scam, the game), FIFA (not being anywhere on the world map doesn't stop us from watching those who are), the child bride shows, the dance beta dance (or some similar titled one). The nice comedy serials are somehow missing after Kapil went into a depression, and any serials with an intelligent story are even more missing. The GOT is the only GoTo serial, it seems..