How Vocabulary Develops

 Right now, we all know what Remdesivir (or Dexamethasone) is, or what devices are used to measure Oxygen levels, or supply Oxygen to patients. Or have learnt that antibodies are good for us-they are not against our body. In other words, a lot of words about health or medicine.

In 2004, we were at IIM Bangalore for our batch (84) get-together, when I first heard the word Tsunami. It had started in Indonesia, and spread till India, causing huge damage. 

What I am trying to get at, is we get familiar with words that we need, more than others. If you are a writer, you may need a lot of words of all kinds. But for an average Joe (or Jane), we probably need a couple of hundred words for everyday use, and 2000 for non-everyday use. If you don't use it, you may lose it..the word!

But I do look up word meanings from Google (it has replaced maps, dictionaries, thesauruses among other things), and not just English words/phrases. It helps to make sure what I am saying is intelligible to most. I write a blog, you see, I have to be careful..

Like, I mean..

Here's the latest on Americans' vocabulary- English vocabulary, from someone who just returned from a trip there. Sample these half-sentences-they have been cut short to prevent too much mirth,..bad for health.

Like, if you are like looking for like shoes, ...

Like, I'm gonna like absolutely go to like the North-east for my vacation

Can I, like, tell you, like, why I like the Disney characters?

Ok, like it or not, the word like is all-pervasive (not just on facebook), and is a substitute for other words, or just over-used in like, places where it's not needed..

But we can't let the Americans win so easily right? Matlab, it wouldn't be right. So we have matlab, used and matlab, over-used, in parts of our own dharti (land). Matlab, if you can't get this, you are a person from matlab, Mars or something.

Character Sketches

The Man Who Knows Too Much

This is the watchman at any residential complex gate. He knows exactly what is happening inside, and who is coming or going. In case there is a murder in the residential complex, his testimony is crucial. Has to keep tabs on parking of sundry vehicles, and tries to fob off guests trying to park inside. Also a useful chap when the housewife has small errands like calling the dhobi, or the raddiwala, or the absconding maid needs a stern reminder. At other times, his sphinx-like appearance belies his alert mind, at least in the daytime. He may be occasionally found snoring at night, but never goofs off more than the average office-goer.

The Indian Student in 12th

This is a person who has to answer 3 times a day, for 1 year, the same dreaded question- "So, WHAT are you planning to do?" from all and sundry. Even tougher than answering the board exam questions. If she makes it to the dream courses like engineering or whatever, she is considered a success by everybody. But if she does not, God has to help her, like Krishna came to the aid of Draupadi. If she happens to have an interest which is somewhat non-mainstream, then even God is of little help. You can admire a Saina (or a Sindhu), but you can't aspire to be one, is the golden rule here.

A Girl Over 21

"So, what are your marriage plans?" goes the question for this one, on the lines of the question above. If you don't have any, you better be a celebrity, or else....all the older relatives feel left out of the 'family affairs' if this girl seems to be independent minded far as marriage plans go. It is after all, everybody's business what the girl does- for example, what would the Khap panchayats do if they can't sponsor a few honour killings now and then?

Continuing with the thoughts, here are some more,  this time in the form of job profiles.

A Management Guru

You have to spawn a new vocabulary, and a new 'paradigm' which is expected to change the business world forever. A best-seller outlining 10 ways to achieve the largest market share in any business in 1 year, is mandatory. You must wear a three-piece suit even in peak summer, so that your brand value is not eroded, corroded, etc. You must also have a travel itinerary that spans the world, so you can be unavailable for appointment seekers, again enhancing your value through what cine-stars have been practising for ages- being elusive.

A run-of-the mill Guru

These are now perfected recipes. Take 1 ashram on the outskirts of any city with a large population of IT or other rich guys. Mix one measure of robes of any colour. Give gyan in a branded course on anything under the sun, including yoga, pranayam, breathing, or anything Sanskrit-sounding. Throw in a dash of calisthenics on any spiritual TV channel by buying enough airtime, and you are all set. Buy a couple of currency counting machines (or borrow from chief of Medical Council of India) to keep track of the cash. Do some invigorating exercises, after making sure there are no hidden cameras.

Facebook Research

I did some serious research on Facebook recently. And this is what I found.

The frequency chart of Comments by Friends looks ‘’like’’ this- (for simplifying the complex figures, I have reduced it to a distribution of 100 typical comments).

How cute- 20

You look gorgeous!- 70

Perfect couple- 5

Happy anniversary, Happy birthday, Congratulations- 5

All the rest- 0

Does this point to a serious problem our next-gen is going to have with vocabulary? Are we going to be back in the cave-man days when da, duh, aah were the three major words we knew? Ah, well, I don’t know. That would need more research, wouldn’t it?

On the Loose

The number of times people confuse 'lose' with 'loose' has ceased to be funny. It is an epidemic worse than Ebola. And there seems to be no cure for it. Not in my sight.

But I should not lose sight of the bigger picture. And should also think out of the box. And invent a cure for it.

A tight slap on the wrist, may be?

A loosely-worded wrap on the knuckles?

A harsh notice asking the guy to tie up the loose ends in his vocabulary?

Or to lose himself among the multitudes, never to be seen again?

Would it mean that I will lose some good friends?

Will it be a lose-lose strategy, or a win-lose one?

Finally, is there something slightly loose above my neck?

Let me know, before I lose my way.

Favorite Media Words and Sage Advice

Journos suffer from the 'limited vocabulary syndrome'. There is always a 'crash' on the stock market, a 'logjam' in the political circles (and on the roads), a team is always 'knocked out', a rater always 'slashes' your status to junk, whether you are a debt fund or a country, a court always 'stays' a judgement from a lower court or some other busybody, stars always 'dazzle' even if their makeup is peeling off, there are always 'delicious treats' to be had in restaurants frequented by them (for free), and they are full of sage advice for all and sundry on everything sundry, like 'eat more vegetables and drink more water for good health' or 'use an orange peel to cleanse your face naturally'.

I would like to be their hero and one day, I will try to follow everything that they tell me to do, and also buy all the stuff they advertise on their pages. If I become a 'financial wreck' in the process, I hope they'll 'bail me out'.