My Brand Names

The business of naming brands/people/things is tricky. You can get it right, and sometimes, horribly wrong. If I could name the following, my favourite names would be-

1. For a West Bengal Political Party- Oh, Calcutta.

2. For Salman Khan's signature shampoo which will compete with Pant-ene - Shirtoff.

3. For the FM Radio Jockeys who like to yak non-stop- Yukyuk.

4. For stock market "experts" who let you sink, as they are unable to predict a downturn- Titanic.

5. For Nitish/Laloo- Do Be'Chare'

6. For Arnab- Go, Swami.

7. El Nino- Kisiki to suno.

8. Google's next product- AtiSunder!

9. Guys who agree to get into Big Boss-  GetaLife

10. People who read blogs- Golden Hearts!

Biggest Boss Kaun?

Instead of a moronic congregation of out of work actors and controversial no-gooders, I propose to hold a congregation of the greatest villains of all time, maybe for a week, to find out who is the Biggest Boss of all. Might just be more watchable, and fun.

The list will include A-listers like Jeevan, Prem Chopra, K.N.Singh, Pran, Ajit, Amrish Puri, Anjad Khan, and Anupam Kher. They will all get one dialogue each to stake a claim for the recognition of becoming the Biggest Boss. The conversation may go something like this-

Jeevan- Hain, hain, hain, yeh main kahan aagaya anaadiyon ki basti mein, jahan koi mere kadmon ki dhool ke barabar bhi nahi, hain, hain..

Prem Chopra- Prem naam hai mera, Prem Chopra. Rape, murder aur jaaydaad ki chori mein mera koi muqabla nahin kar saka chaalis saal mein.

K.N. Singh- (with one eye closed, to no one in particular)- In sab ko maar ke nazdeek ke gutter mein phenk do...

Pran (in a suit, chewing on a cigarette)- Is ghalatfehmi mein mat rehna ki tum apne aap ko bacha sakoge.

Ajit- Michael, tum cycle par jao, Raabert, tum ise liquid oxygen mein daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahin dega, oxygen ise marne nahin dega.

Amjad Khan- Are o saambha, kitne aadmi hain yahan? Aadmi itne, aur award ek, ...bahut beinsaafi hai..

Amrish Puri- Mogambo khush hua.

Anupam Kher- Dr. Dang kisi award ka mohtaaj nahin hai, na to use award chaiye, aur na hi yeh ghatiya program..

Guess who wins the award..that is, if you are still awake..