Segmenting Friends- A Typology

 In Marketing, we do use segmentation to divide customers into groups based on various characteristics. So what would happen if you try this to segment friends into different types. Let's have some fun, and try..

Night-birds versus Early-birds. 

Party animals versus Bookworms

Travel-bugs versus Home-bodies.

Shutter-bugs versus Camera-shy.

Outdoor adventurers versus Chess players.

Positive energy exuders versus Pessimists.

Storytellers versus Good listeners.

Exaggerators versus Understated types.

Wine drinkers, Whisky fans, or Rum-ta jogis..

Innovative Training Programs

In our constant endeavour to improve the world, we must do what we can. Therefore, I have resolved to teach some simple marketing fundas to people who matter. In other words, Hackers, telecallers, cold callers of all other types including cold mailers and cold facebook/ linkedin inviters.

First funda. You may be interested in X. But the imp. thing is to find out if X is interested in you.

Second funda. Most important for hackers, or others after my money. I am not a bank, nor do I own one. Heck, I don't even have a Swiss account in a chocolate bank, let alone the Franc variety. So why target me and waste your time?

Third funda. Telecallers, please be aware that most of what you do is illegal. If that does not deter you from your persistence, read para above. Might put you off my mobile number for good. It has worked on many potential girlfriends in the past. Simple- got no money to spend on you. Where is your knowledge of segmentation? Mere ownership of a mobile phone is not enough. Five billion guys (or is it six?) own one now.

Facebook inviters, I agree we are all connected in this universe. But does it have to include Facebook if I don't know you?

Amen!