Fake News Generator

I propose to automate fake news generation. The FNG, or Fake News Generator, is an invention whose time has come. You simply decide on a few parameters, and the AI-based generator goes to work, generating fake news about the people, in tons of videos, Memes, print, or any other form.

For example, say I don't like a certain character in my office. I can generate fake news about his childhood, his dangerous liaisons, his secret trysts with non-veg. food while he proclaims himself a vegan, how he was involved with the Italian/Sicilian mafia, how he smoked pot when 18, and (if he was a U.S. citizen) dodged being drafted into the Army, and his being politically close to a secret group that is planning to overthrow the current government. This would ensure his downfall in no time.

The language to be used in the fake news (how unparliamentary) has to be specified by the user of this FNG. This can be sold by e-commerce companies as the best Diwali gift that one can buy for yourself..in this selfie-crazy generation, you usually buy gifts for yourself anyway. Methinks it will rock the festive season.

Ads We Made in 1984

I joined an ad agency, New Horizons, in Delhi after my MBA from IIMB in 1984. The same year, a group of entrepreneurs decided to start an amusement park at Pragati Maidin  in Delhi. We got the contract to make print ads for this Indian Disneyland (albeit a small one) called Appu Ghar, Appu being the mascot for the Asian Games 1982. I found a couple of those ads and am putting them out for your exclusive 'amusement'-
I think entry was Rs.2, and then separate fees for rides.

Allaying Fears

I am always intrigued by the jargon used by our journalist fraternity. 25 feared killed in landslide. Disaster strikes Maryland. Town heaves sigh of relief as tornado passes it by. Government allays fears about the H1N1 epidemic.

These are a small sample of headlines going about the 'newsy' rooms and on to the printed pages. What if they got really daring, and started to become bold (if not beautiful) and report what they truly felt, minus the jargon? We might see something like these reports-

He claimed a lot of things, but the audience knew it was hocus-pocus.

The news reporters in the press conference were clueless, and ill-prepared to ask intelligent questions, including this reporter.

The speech did not make any sense, but the audience clapped anyway.

There was no news to report on our beat, so we made up some.

The same old parade- looked more like a charade.

The roads had the same number of potholes as yesterday. So we did not bother to go out today.

It rained incessantly, so we let the TV channels go out there to report the 'reality' while writing our stories by watching them, sipping some hot tea with samosas in the office.