What I Learnt at IIMB During MBA

 Ok, it was called PGDM then, but that's not relevant. I learnt a few things apart from the course.

1. There are a lot of smart people in the world, some smarter than me.

2. There are a lot of nice people in the world, some nicer.. yes, you got it.

3. Multiple styles of teaching exist, and they also work.

4. Computers are not essential to the learning process- we had none. Internet neither.

5. Group work is fun, and works- even with one or two shirkers

6. Extra curriculars can teach you a lot.

7. Having fun is as important as not having it... 

8. Jargon can be fun.

9. Document things for posterity. I still have handwritten, and cyclostyled stuff.

10. Have a Yearbook. Helps at reunions.

The Yearbook 1982-84

 In a way, this was the crowning glory of our writing careers at IIM Bangalore..me and Dash, my PIC (Partner-in-crime). Some photographic excerpts- not our work, except the tank pic (we wrote the exquisite text and selected the captions), but what the hell.. they were great memories too.

This last one was a trip to Colva beach, with my pal Sujit. Actually, he lived in Goa, I went for a trip.

Puns and Me

 I am not sure when I got punny. Was it before or after I got funny? IDK. But I did!

Writing is a passion, since at least my MBA days. I wrote for Mural, our wall mag, and was also editor of most student magazines along with Dash during those two years. The 1982-84 yearbook, comprising our take on all 120 (or what remained of these) folks, spicy and funny at the same time, was our Magnum Opus. 

Anyway, to get back, punning became a habit (some might say a nasty habit). The puns just seemed to flow. On the positive side, they indicate that the brain is still functioning, even after 60 years of almost continuous use. Unlike some parts of the body, which are partly paralysed. The negative depends on the reaction of the victims. But then, it teaches them that Life is a sinusoidal curve, with ups and downs. What made me happy a couple of days ago, was this punny note on a present from two students who got Golf lessons from me. 

I am equally happy with the Golfy gift inside as I am with the goofy puns..just my type!

MBAs Speak Their Mind

THUS SPAKE IIMBITES (in 1984)- results of a survey we did back then.

At IIM, Bangalore, we like English movies more than any other kind. Here, girls expect to live longer than guys. Girls do not smoke, drink...... The smokers exhibit no brand preference when it is a borrowed cigarette. Next to that they prefer Wills Filter (subject to availability at Uncle's). Guys go for girls who have high proficiency in English, can cook well and do not touch drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes (hold it, this is for marital purposes only !). Girls apparently want intelligent Mr. Brains who will be faithful and good at washing dishes. And if they are filthy, stinking rich and tough and good - looking in the bargain, that will certainly help. Despite O.R. and Effective Communication, a large majority of the people felt IIMB was a fantastic experience.

Here are the details:
Movies are ranked in the following order:
English, American, Hindi Arty, Hindi Masala, Regional, Management Movies.
The following are the stars IIMBites adore:
Hindi : Naseeruddin Shah, Rekha
English : Dustin Hoffman / Sharu Rangnekar (Management Movies), Audrey Hepburn (we still believe in fair ladies)

An average IIMBite expects to live till 68 years 3 months and 11 days. The girls expect to grace this earth until they are 72 years 9 months and 2 days. Guys expect to foul it up until 67 years 8 months and 25 days.

36% of the junta smokes. The following is the brand preference:
1. Borrowed fags (of any brand)
2. Wills Filter
3. Charms
4. Gold Flake
5. Pipe
6. Scissors
7. Charminar (The other brands are not supplied by Uncle)

Following are the spouse specifications on a five-point scale.
Wanted for young, handsome executive, MBA, rich bridegroom, a girl with the following attributes with the following degree of preference:
1. Good height : 2.1
2. Susceptibility' to drinks, drugs, alcohol, fags : 0.7
3. Antipathy to drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes : 4.0
4. Homeliness : 1.5
5. Comeliness : 3.5
6. M. B. A. (IIM / Bajaj / XL) : 0.3
7. Proficiency in English : 4.0
8. Proficiency in Hindi : 2.1
9. Proficiency in Cobolese : 1.0
10. Culinary abilities : 4.8
11. Intelligence : 3.5
12. Imbecility : 1.0

Wanted for young, beautiful, angelic, voluble MBA girl, a bridegroom with the following attributes with the following degree of preference:
Good height : 4.1
Looks : 3.2
Susceptibility to drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes : 0.5
Faithful : 4.9
IIM degree : 1.5
Expertise in washing dishes : 3.8
Intelligence : 4.5
Pecuniary Position : 3.2

For 46% of the populace IIMB was a fantastic, out-of-the-world, mind-blowing experience, 22% found it nothing to write home about, 30% adopt a tolerant attitude, grin-and-bear-it. Only 2% were positive that Dante's 'inferno' was nothing compared to what they went through here.

Wise Words From 1984

This was the editorial we wrote for our yearbook, from 1984, written in the hallowed buildings of IIM Bangalore.

Bubbling moments. PJs bandied about with competitive zeal, Mural (the wall mag on a real wall) coming alive with yesterday's headliners.

Mimicking the Profs.. The inter-IIM trophy won in the first year and lost subsequently. Chorus chants of Beatles numbers and limericks to fill the darkness when the KEB calls the tune. Late-night efforts to bring out printed IIMBIBEs (our magazine). Finding places of solace on MG and Brigade. And discovering the mysterious ways back to the hostel.

All this and a lot more were what those two years were all about. We will look back upon the memories of this unpremeditated past- we are bound to. The new growing campus may, on some distant or not-so-distant date, become the epitome of all that is best in the best possible of worlds, a meeting place for enlightened, avante-garde haute-management. Or it may degenerate into the stale nemesis of dreams relinquished, academic might-have-been.

Whatever happens, we will have the consolation that we started it all.

dash n' gunds (Names by which the two of us were known)

Meet My Batch Arvind Deepika

ARVIND RAO (MARUTI/PLANTER)
d.o.b. 4-6-1959

A cat in anything he takes up, he is still trying to figure out why with his looks and build, he still
doesn't get the looks he should be getting. No wonder he sticks with Benji who operates in a
sellers' market. "I am too modest to fill in the 'Man of the Batch' and 'Person of the Batch', " he
said. Modesty, thy name is Arvind Rao!

DEEPIKA NATH (D NATH / PIK·PIK / BOND 003)
 “When you are a compulsive talker, why hide it from the world?”

On her own admission, she was a "total scatter-brain". However, going by her prolific scores,
we would rather drop that word "scatter". There is probably only a little bit of role-confusion-she
sometimes forgets which PGP batch, and which section, she belongs to.

My Batchmates Jose Bhima

JOSE G. VARAVUKALA (JOSAY / HOSE / YOSAPPAN)
"Fair and Lovely"  d.o.b. 9-4-1958

The man with the rich, b(h)aritone voice. Became better known as Father Jose after his Eff.
Comm. presentation on The Bible. He reached the heights of spirit-uality in the Jog Falls 'trip’.
He looked with a jaundiced eye upon anyone musically inclined intruding upon his privacy.
His favorite pastime: Singing, which Banny and even braver souls found hard to contain.

H. BHIMASENA RAU
(BHIMA / ASKY) d.o.b. 17-4-1959

His Tamil was painful - to non-Tamil ears. However, beneath the Tamil exterior, he hid hazaar
hospitality, warmth, hard work and a general inclination to excel. His gesticulations reminded
one of a puppet with strings detached. An enthusiastic placement rep., he discharged his duties
(?) with rare aplomb.

Portraits of Batchmates-1

They will only be identified by their nicknames, or by initials. These are descriptions that adorned the Yearbook 1982-84.Who says managers are not creative?

SG

Uncrowned leader of the opposition in General Body Meetings, this smart, cherubic young man believes that he has a constructive role to play, fracas with Dunhill & Gadkari apart. Charms is his spirit of freedom and his charms really work. Easy & outgoing, clicked with JD (our marketing prof.). More known for his wildlife excursions than for his enthu about computers. A keen Bridge player and was part of the group which initiated movies in the campus. His favorite jingle : Money, Money, Mani. (Oops, did we slip?)

(Note: We screened Hindi films on a 16 m.m. projector, and Jangal Mein Mangal and Bramhachari were two of these.)

Toddler

He believed in toddling casually into the class 55 minutes late or 75 minutes early depending on which class you are thinking of. He had the dubious distinction of being the youngest guy in the class and younger than most of the girls (even the age they claimed). His voice is remarkable. It is a real treat to hear him when he is tipsy. Even otherwise, he says all the right things at the wrong time.

Creating Nicknames

Nicknames are always interesting. Chhotu and Motu are the garden variety ones, but if we exercise the grey cells, we could come up with newer, gooder- err, better-ones.

Example- Bhatinde ka tinda.

Here are a few names that my batchmates were called. (It seems as if there were many people fully occupied in coining nicknames rather than doing their MBA!)

R2D2 (Star Wars character), Tintin, UFO, Dangler, Gadfly (real name Gadkari),

Dede (inspired by a prof whose last name was Lele), Bond 003(this was a girl),

Shah of Kiraan (Kiran was his first name), Jerome K. Jerome (Jayram), Toddler, Bhau,

Mandrake (for Manglik), Gothix, Fu Manchu, Marcus Gundolius (guess who?)

Bishop, Thalaivar, Henry Fayol (for Srikant Payal), Dancing Queen (for a guy who danced his way into our hearts), Captain Haddock,

POM I, POM II and POM III (after a course called Production and Operations Management, which was not exactly the most liked. The OM stands for Old Man.