Morons I Have Met

 Someone said I should write a book about them, and maybe I will, some day. But here's a preview on a couple.

I once had a one-hour meeting with a superior based in another city, about why our Diesel Generator expenses (on fuel) were high compared to his! We tried explaining (my admin was with me) that we were located in a rural area outside the municipal limits and therefore power cuts were rampant in the area. But after an hour or so, he wasn't convinced. He wanted to look at Power Cut announcements for our city, by the local Electricity board to verify our claims! 

But this may not be the worst of all the M's I have seen on the planet.. just wait for more. 

English Translations of Hindi Songs

 Attempting some literal translations.

-Want to tell you, tell you, Today I want to tell you for the first time..

        Kehna hai kehna hai, aaj tumse

-I was going by the road. 

          Main to raste se ja raha tha.

-Mad fellow has come bearing a song of the heart

          Deewana leke aaya hai dil ka taraana

-Look mother, your boy is getting spoilt

           Amma dekh, tera munda bigda jaaye

-From your world, I am going away helpless

           Teri duniya se hoke majboor chala..

-Other than me, how many admirers do you have?

            Hamare siwa, tumhare aur kitne deewane hain?

-When my magic is in the air, nobody can escape.

            Jab chhaye, mera jadu, koi bach na paaye

-Each better than the other, I've got gifts galore

             Ek se badh kar ek, main layi hoon tohfe anek

Filmy Character Names

Some memorable filmy characters, mainly due to their names-

Dr. Fu Manchu- Peter Sellers in The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu, who drinks a youth elixir made out of diamonds, stolen by a band of henchmen whom he calls "dacoits."

Rice Plate Reddy, a villain in the funny film, Quick Gun Murugan, which also had a seductress named Mango Dolly.

Dhurandhar Bhatawadekar -the incomparable Utpal Dutt, in Rang Birangi

Mogambo - Amrish Puri in Mr. India, who made "Mogambo khush hua" a household dialogue.

Soorma Bhopali- Jagdeep in Sholay, speaking in his inimitable style.

Virus in 3 Idiots, played so well by Boman Irani.

Circuit in Munnabhai MBBS. Arshad Warsi's best role, maybe.

..and finally, Lola Kutty, the delectable Mallu lady of the T.V. show by the same name. "Aalex"  was her frequent companion.

Treebo and Creative Posters

The hotel I am at has a lot of funny posters.

1. What did Narendra Modi say when he checked in at Treebo? Achche din aa gaye.

2. What did Gabbar Singh say when asked about clean rooms at Treebo Hotel? Iski guarantee milegi. Baraabar milegi.

3. The stay at Treebo  is so memorable that even Ghajini remembers!

4. Sign at the bar. Guys without a shirt. No Service. Girls without a shirt. Free drinks.

5. Rates for our Bartender's answers to your wife's phone call.

    He's not here. $ 1.

    He just had one drink. $ 2.

    He never came in today. $ 3.

   Never heard of him. $ 5.

6. What did Leonardo DiCaprio say was the difference between Treebo and the Oscars? Treebo did not make him wait.

7. In case of a fire, use the staircase, not the lift. And Do NOT stop to take a selfie.

8. What was Mogambo's reaction to a stay at Treebo? Mogambo khush hua