Beauty and the Beholder

 Why is it said that beauty lies in a beholder's eyes?

Mainly because beauty has multiple definitions. The skincare companies would like you to believe it's skin deep, but that's just one (visible) aspect. What about the beauty of the mind, which is creative, inventive, imaginative? 

A particular body shape may look attractive at first sight, but that too is subjective, depending on which part of the world you live in. Again, the fashion mags would have you believe that what they propagate as the shape (forget the clothes) is fashionable, as a body type.

Ask a person in love. It could be a gesture, or the way she/he carries herself, or almost anything that creates the beauty in their eyes.

Or ask a child. To him, his mother would be the most beautiful creature. Likewise, a mother would think the same about her kids.

Look for beauty beyond the obvious, and if possible, appreciate it too.

Taglines

 The Economist- Clears the mist (Read while eating mishty doi for best results)

Indian Express- Breaking news before it breaks. Express delivery.

Journal of Human Behaviour- On its best behaviour.

Punch (the magazine)- No rum in it.

Golf- Assured misery on a long walk with relief on the 19th Hole.

Cricket- The channels are laughing with you. (all the way to the bank)

Job- Pleasing your boss is Job 1.

Home- Place where you can design the plug for your gadgets

Hotel- Where you struggle to do s0-plug in your gadgets.

BBC- Not Biwi ka Bakwas, Chicha, ye original hai..

From The Udder Side

 Some good definitions from the book- 

Judge- A chap who gets his sentences right by trial and error.

Mall- female Utopia.

Nepotism- the theory of relativity employed in an organisation.

Taxidermy- The art of stuffing humans into a cab.

Dart- A pointed missile usually directed at one's boss' photograph.

Faculty- what you lose control over when you agree to be a Dean.

Gastronomy- the study of flatulence in outer space.

Genie- a spirit coming alive when you hit the bottle.

Policy- when you are dying to make some money from insurance.

Tomb- a monument to die for.

Daft Definitions

Some fun de(finitions)-

Shoe- A piece of leather wrapped around your foot.

Lipstick- Lip-synching wax with weird colours.

Car- A hollow piece of metal with four wheels driven on a moon-like surface on earth.

Aircraft- A hollow piece of metal intent on taking off, except when it is fogged out.

IPL- A system devised by scammers, for scammers with spectators’ money. Spectacular.

TRAI- The regulator that gives everyone a ‘trying’ time.

RBI- An entity that always holds your ‘interest’.

Word Play- Daft Definitions

Word Play, forwarded by a player. Running out of original ideas due to Dilli ki sardi.

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown..

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.),: The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

- These are winner contributions in a Washington Post Competition or whatever !!!

Fixing It

Here are a few dictionary definitions to get us started (from the web).

Definition of FIX

transitive verb

1

a : to make firm, stable, or stationary

b : to give a permanent or final form to: as (1) : to change into a stable compound or available form fix

nitrogen> (2) : to kill, harden, and preserve for microscopic study (3) : to make the image of (a photographic film) permanent by removing unused salts

c : affix, attach

2

a : to hold or direct steadily <fixes his eyes on the horizon>

b : to capture the attention of <fixed her with a stare>

3

a : to set or place definitely : establish

b : to make an accurate determination of : discover <fixingour location on the chart>

c : assign <fix the blame>

4

: to set in order : adjust

5

: to get ready : prepare <fix lunch>

6

a : repair, mend <fix the clock>

b : restore, cure fix

ed him up>

The recent meanings, however, if you have got a fix on them, have much to do with shady dealings. Whether it is the Hansie-Cronje-led fixing of matches in the 'gentlemen's game' a decade ago, or similar things happening now, the word 'fix' has become known for its underhand meaning. 

Maybe we could instead define things that are fixed/fixable/that have been fixed/that have potential to be fixed, like

LIBOR- that which gets 'fixed' by Barclays, UBS, and RBS.

Real-estate based Derivatives- those are fixed by Wall Street traders, the best of the best.

Olympic Associations- these remain unfixed because you need to know how they work in order to fix them.

For a fix in high places, you can say words like "Insider Trading", or "IMF Chief", or "Prime Minister of a country north of the Mediterranean". Ahem!