Why I Will Not Get a Nobel

 It's a real reality check. But in accordance with the adage Know Thyself, I will do some analysis of the Self. It's like taking selfies, but deeper.

I have almost zero knowledge of Physics, Chemistry, or Medicine.

I only read good literature, don't write any.

My knowledge of Economics is limited to the current prices of vegetables.

I have not helped solve an India-Pakistan conflict, or an Israel-Gaza conflict, or a Russia-Ukraine conflict, or one in my backyard where dogs fight with man, or with other dogs. Catfights are also not my territory to solve- because they usually don't involve cats..

Which basically leaves me with other Prize options, like the following-

Greatest Golf Trainer in Asia Prize

Great at Forgetting People's Names Award

Most Regular Blogger at 65 Medal

Punek (Anek) Pun Creator Prize

Best Movie Critic Award

PJ forwarder and OJ Maker Award

Not a bad set.. what are you likely to win?

Creative Pursuits

 I always liked photography, as my parents introduced me to it. I have many memorable pics taken from places around the world. Some good, some that could have been better, but great memories usually.

Writing I got introduced to in college magazines as an occasional writer. I am proud of a piece I wrote about 100% attendance- a rule at IIM Bangalore. I titled it- "Of Godliness and 100% Attendance." A satirical piece, of course. It evolved into writing a lot for the wall magazine and Year Book, and later, books of two kinds. Technical, as in Marketing related, and an autobiography- self-published, unlike Chetan Bhagat's books. And of course, this blog..

I like punning too, and PJs. Many are spontaneous, and related to the conversation going on. I also ask questions on Facebook that test the creativity of friends, drawing them into answering the (sometimes silly) questions. My 'engagement' score is pretty high, I am sure.

A combo of all these is good for being social, at least on social media. 

Six Monthly Resolutions

 I don't do things by halves-except resolutions. Half-yearly resolutions are more fun. You can make and break them more often than yearly ones, for one. Like celebrating a birthday more than once. You can even celebrate daily. But anyway, I am digressing. On to my 2022 half-yearly resolutions.

Will (or Shall- sounds better) meet old friends - or any friends- more often.

Shall live life more, and work less, progressively. That's progress, right?

Shall try and appreciate other people's achievements, including simple ones, a lot more.

Shall not give speeches longer than 5 minutes, even under pressure.

Shall not stop punning, unless the brain stops functioning. If it has already, you gotta tell me.

Shall try and taste the best of food and drink, and something new regularly. Time is running out, that's why. 'Miles to go before I sleep' kind of thing, taken positively.

I will not break any resolutions, until I make ones that contradict these. Then, I will decide whether to break these or those.

I think that's pretty comprehensive...

Puns and Me

 I am not sure when I got punny. Was it before or after I got funny? IDK. But I did!

Writing is a passion, since at least my MBA days. I wrote for Mural, our wall mag, and was also editor of most student magazines along with Dash during those two years. The 1982-84 yearbook, comprising our take on all 120 (or what remained of these) folks, spicy and funny at the same time, was our Magnum Opus. 

Anyway, to get back, punning became a habit (some might say a nasty habit). The puns just seemed to flow. On the positive side, they indicate that the brain is still functioning, even after 60 years of almost continuous use. Unlike some parts of the body, which are partly paralysed. The negative depends on the reaction of the victims. But then, it teaches them that Life is a sinusoidal curve, with ups and downs. What made me happy a couple of days ago, was this punny note on a present from two students who got Golf lessons from me. 

I am equally happy with the Golfy gift inside as I am with the goofy puns..just my type!

Puns for Fun

They are self-explanatory...have fun.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's
just kiln time.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the
wrong way.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean
your mother.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.


I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

A woman needs a lover just to break the monogamy.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. 

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Puns

Some puns from a friendly forward.

I don't enjoy computer jokes; not one byt. 

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. 

When a chemist dies, they barium. 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. 

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. 

PMS jokes aren't funny; period. 

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. 

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. 

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? 

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. 

Broken pencils are pointless. 

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. 

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. 

Velcro — what a rip off! 

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. 

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! 

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.