Cynicism and Optimism

The reactions to PM Modi's speeches are bipolar- you either love them or hate them. The unfortunate part of our history for the last decade has been that cynicism has replaced optimism. Actually, everyone knows the problems we have as a nation AND the solutions to these. In 1991, they were articulated well by Manmohan Singh in his historic budget speech.

It is indeed ironic that it took the (once-in-opposition) BJP PM to re-articulate them for us. And that the same Dr. Singh allowed things to drift in the other direction-away from reform- when he had the chance. Anyway, the lost decade apart, one can still solve most problems by working at them, bit by bit. No one has a magic wand, not the US, not Russia, nor some messiah from above. We need to work on the agenda we set ourselves.

The sooner we start, the sooner we get there. And we have to learn to understand what is good for us as a people- a country, indeed, the world (but after we set ourselves straight). That we need productivity, jobs, health, education and infrastructure stares us in the face everyday. Point is, what are we going to do about it?

This is just a reiteration of the fact that optimism and hard work can at least help us improve our lot. No amount of cribbing or wishful thinking will. We still have a good chance. Let's take it.

Snobbery

Snobbery was a preserve of the elite (read English Lords/Ladies, Royalty, Page 3 crowd) once. Not so today. Anyone can be a snob, due to the democratised universe that we inhabit today.

I tried my hand at it the other day. Someone offered me a drink. I took one look at it, turned my nose up and said, "This is not a single malt." As if I had been born with a silver tap pouring single malts in my mouth.

It had no impact on the guy who had offered me a drink. "Take it or leave it" he said. So I swallowed my pride, and then some.

Then I tried it in a conversation about sports the other day. Cricket, as usual, threatened to dominate the conversation, so I saw an opportunity arising for some snobbery.

I said, "Cricket used to be a gentleman's game, but what with the big money and 'quick-fixes', it is one for the rogues. Golf, on the other hand, remains pristine, a true gentleman's game."

"Oh yes, only, there are a few ladies involved off-course with the gentlemen sometimes," an unpleasant guy in the group retorted. Since the evidence had been all over the newspaper tabloids over a prolonged period, I couldn't stick to my stand and revel in my sports snobbery.

Then I tried the ultimate trump card- country snobbery. I was in a crowd of mixed nationalities, and I tried the age-old trick of talking about age-old achievements of our country in various fields of human knowledge and endeavour.

"We had some great mathematicians, you know, like Aryabhatta, and many down the ages."

The response was swift and unexpected. "Why do you need a great mathematician to compute the single digit growth rate of your GDP today? You are Ok with learning some basic arithmetic, right?"
I was nonplussed, and vowed to come back with some excellent rejoinder to restore the snob's pride of place. I am still thinking...

RTI

This is not about the Right to Information but about a book called Return to India, written by Shoba Narayan. I first discovered her when I began reading the Saturday Mint Lounge recently. She writes a column in it, a pretty nice one.

The book is about THE GREAT DILEMMA that every immigrant faces at some point, or at many points- to return to your native country/home country or not. One begins to empathise with Hamlet when faced with the question, as every true-blue immigrant will tell you. Shoba writes a very honest account of her urge to get out of India and its domineering relatives' circle around her in Chennai, her transformation from a psychology student to a sculptor and a journalist (something that could only have happened in the U.S.), and her subsequent 'arranged marriage' to an NRI, love for her parents and theirs for her.

She does not pull any punches about her longing for America in the face of all the 'evils' she faces back here in her growing up years (like ultra-conservative parents). But slowly, unknowingly, she starts missing things Indian as she grows older and has children. Then this desire to return becomes an obsesssion, and she convinces her husband into taking up an assignment that brings them closer- to Singapore, and eventually to India.

The story is well-told, and will be of interest to anyone contemplating a trip abroad, a stay abroad, or a return - an RTI. Or to those with friends facing such a dilemma.

Naming Rating Agencies

There's a serious problem we have on hand. No, it's not the European meltdown (sounds like a chocolate sauce, does it?), or the American Presidential election of Obama versus Romney, (though this one has the potential to be included in our discussion), or even our own (Presidential election).

We have a REAL problem- and that is, to find out who named the rating agencies who go around rating everything from financial instruments, to countries, and now it seems, even educational institutions. The guys who did it need to be institutionalised- seriously!

I mean, Standard and Poor? What kind of a name is that? If the goal is financial inclusion, either they should rate everybody as 'poor' or everyone as rich, with nothing in between. But couldn't they have found a better name?

Fitch is another one that sounds suspiciously like another word that rhymes with it and is much more popular, particularly in cat-fights. Cats don't talk, except in Murakami novels, so I am referring figuratively to our own species.

Moody's though, is the ultimate among the naming goof-ups. I mean, we are talking serious stuff like a country and its people's future here. Or at least a financial instrument. How the hell can anyone trust a rating from someone who is moody? Your rating would then be expected to yo-yo, based on the mood-swings of these esteemed personalities manning the agency.

God, please give them sense enough to rename themselves. If we can rename our files at will, why can't they? A brand consultant could make millions doing the job, and create a few to save the crashing economies, in the process!

Contributions by Different Professions

What is the contribution of every profession to society at large? Yes, it is an important issue that the world needs to take cognizance of- more so because we have run out of things to say about global warming, end of the world aka doomsday circa 2012, and other glorious topics. So let me initiate another debate of epic proportions.

Engineers contribute the bridges we walk or drive on. Software engineers write code that works to enable us to look up Wikipedia instead of using our brains.

Poets contribute by making us long for love and find despair, and express it in nice words. Craftsmen create works of art that we like to look at but not buy. Manufacturing workers and their bosses help mass-produce things that we don't like to look at most of the time, but buy.

Accountants help to keep tabs on things that are tough to keep tabs on, as Satyam and Enron prove once in a few years. Marriage planners help you get into holy matrimony, so they are the reps for heaven, where these matches are actually made. Match fixers of a different kind.

Bollywood producers help you to spend a few happy hours watching a fantasy and many more hours discussing it. Ekta Kapoor of TV serial production achieves the same in multiples with the same story in 100 serials/shows with a different cast. Her patented technique for time-wasting shots is a tribute to film-making.

Dance shows contribute by showing you the various ways you can twist and turn the body- just to earn the approval of jobless judges. Talent shows in general discover your talent, and then leave you in the lurch, without the million rupee contracts that were promised before the show began.

Managers show how management is the easiest thing in the world, by choosing the option learnt from various case studies- by doing nothing. Ad professionals entertain everyone by being creative, and blaming competition for the sales not going up. If that's not creativity, what is?

Banks laugh all the way to the bank (is that an Oxymoron, or something?) by letting you park your money with them for nothing, so they can make loans to people who don't exactly feel obligated to return them. Financial analysts, likewise, advise you to park the money where it may never meet you again.

Climatologists keep everyone worried about a degree or two in weather change, so that global conferences can be held at the cost of polluting sponsors.

And the world goes on..and bloggers fulfill an important duty by blogging about all these guys.