Solving World Problems Part 2

I think I had solved the world's problems before, but I have found a second solution for the biggest one (at this rate, I am afraid there won't be any challenges left, soon). This is the ultimate solution for the biggest global problem- unemployment. No, it is not sitting under a tree meditating, in case you thought that was the solution.

It is this. Every person above age 18 must litigate at all times- meaning, file at least one court case at any point of time. This will create more courts, more clerks in courts, and eventually, jobs for all. We will all be kept busy, and no one will complain of boredom. The cases will go on and on. The malls may shut down, because the litigation will eat away into incomes, and people will not have money to buy anything, nor time to go shopping. Americans already use this idea, but only on a small scale. I am proposing this on a "war footing" across the world.

Media will function well, and another 200 channels can give us live coverage of all ongoing trials. These being more interesting than cricket matches, they will keep the channels busy 24 by 7. Reality shows can be shut down, as nobody will watch them any more. What can be more interesting than watching your own trial's live coverage?

There is only one additional subsidy it would need, to fight cases, and it can be named Rahul Gandhi Bekaaron ko kaam dilanewali Yojana. After all, he deserves to have something in his name.

Unemployment and Solutions

There seems to be major unemployment threatening lots of people in India. Some of these unemployed (even ex- BIG BOSSES) and underemployed guys land up fixing matches. If ever the following find themselves in such a situation, here is what they could do.

Kapoors can start a school for putting on weight. With pics of all the male members of their clan, you don't need a hard-sell.

Khans can start their own version of the Cannes film festival. Pronunciation is almost the same, anyways. This can be held at the Kandivali fair grounds, to match with the name of the fest.

Madhuri can start a primary school to teach arithmetic, as in "Ek do teen.."

All bit role actresses of yesteryear can have an eatery called Bits and Pieces, which will serve variety of chats, or a cybercafe that is titled Bits and Bytes.

Nana Patekar could start a school for wannabe actors who will learn how to deliver fiery dialogue in a ghati style.

All other game-players can start a welfare league for themselves right now, as their earnings probably will not be able to support them even at the peak of their careers.

Finally, the commentators of cricket can set up the next edition of comedy circus, as they fit the requirements to a 'T'.

How about it?