Maintenance Schedule for Humans

 Apart from the weekly off, there's no maintenance schedule for humans. If machines can have ones, shouldn't humans?

I suggest the following- 

A foot massage every 2 weeks, and additional doses when required.

A head massage every 10 days.

A swim in the pool, every 5-6 days. 

A beach visit, every 3 months- quarterly.

A mountain visit, every 6 months, when it's not crowded- or else, it'll feel like Silk Board Junction!

A game with a kid of 4-6 years. Once in a while

A game of Golf/Badminton or whatever, every Sunday or two Sundays.

A cruise, every year.

Start with 60% of these immediately. Change dosage as required.

Aircraft Maintenance Jokes

I hope these are jokes, or else I will be scared to fly from here onwards..These are logs of complaints by pilots and responses by maintenance crews.

Complaint- Something loose in the cockpit.
Response- Something tightened in cockpit.

C- Suspected crack in windshield.
R- Suspect you are right.

C- Mouse in cockpit.
R- Cat installed.

C- DME volume unbelievably loud.
R- Volume set to more believable level.

C- IFF inoperative.
R- IFF is always inoperative in Off Mode.