Quirks of Indian Pronunciation

 Where is prounouncing Pen stretched to become a pain?

Where in India would someone say Bholuputus (real story) and what does it mean?

Where is Mr. Vishwas and Mr. Biswas one and the same?

Where does one hear the 'd' in Bridge pronounced?

Where might Boss and Bus be pronounced the same way?

Where might people say Mani when then they mean money?

Player instead of pleasure?

Pronunciation- we are Like This Only

 We pronounce English words exactly as we like- influenced by the Mother tongue, is many cases.

For instance, Telugu chaps usually pronounce the d in Bridge. 

Marathi people think the Pen is a Pain.

Odiyas confuse the Boss with the Bus.. and Xavier becomes Jhabier.

The Bongs think the Heart is Hurt. And Award is aa-word.

Tamils pronounce Money as Mani- the na is the hard one.

Mallus are Zimbly too much, and gulp if someone else goes to the Gelf.

In some parts of the North, they study in an Iskool, isn't that cool?

But the best is a friend from Bihar who completely changed Voluptuous to Bholuputus.. can't beat that!

Pronouncing Funny

 Funny stories about pronunciation abound in India. One of the funny ones concerns a foreign prof. who was being introduced to the audience in a gathering. His name was Roger something, and the guy introducing him kept pronouncing the g as a hard g instead of a soft g, causing mirth all around-not in Roger, maybe.

The B for V is common in Bengal, and Crazy pronunciation of many words is very common in Mallu-land. But iskool for school is also common in some parts of the North, and s instead of sh (try Social) also, likewise.

Telugus pronounce the d in bridge, and a lot besides. Marathi people tend to prolong the pain while saying pen.. peeen is how they will say it. Gujjus say shake when they mean shack, and snake when they mean snack.

How to Confuse an American

It is easy.

Spell 'colour' with a u.

Use 'spring' as a verb.

Pronounce park as we do in India. They would wonder why you are asking them to bark.

Do some quick arithmetic without a calculator.

Speak a language other than American English. Even Queen's English will do.

Add milk to your coffee.

Be knowledgable about world affairs.

Display knowledge of five countries not situated between Canada and Mexico.

Pronouncing the Stuff

Renunciation is different from pronunciation. And it's tough to get both right.

We in India take pride in the fact that we are about speaking English the way we like it, and particularly take pride in our regional English. From a long time ago, jokes about regional accents have proliferated, and before I forget, I want to recount some of them.

Like in school, we would ask a Bengali to say, "Venkatramana, Venkatramana, why are you walking in the verandah," with results that were hilarious to the rest.

Or the famous one about a Gujju who went to the to a toy shop and instructed the attendant to "rape the doll" -all he meant was "wrap" or pack the doll.

The Andhravaadus generally pronounce the 'd' in bridge very hard, and it's hard to make them bu'd'ge from their stance.

Easterners like Odiyas confuse Boss with Bus and Bose (the name), so you never know whether the boss took a bus or missed it. Or if Bose did, if he wasn't the boss.

It's always a player to speak with a Punju, for that's how they like to pronounce 'pleasure'.

And with a Tam, it's usually 'money' above all, only you say it like Mani.

More 'eggzamples' can be found everywhere you look (ghati ending).

American Desi Names

Most people in the US can't (or think they can't) pronounce Indian names. Anyway, whether that's true or not, names of Indians in the US get modified (no, this is not a political statement, even if it contains the word 'Modi' hidden somewhere).

So the names of people change, usually to a short and easier-on-the-tongue version. I used to teach at the Clemson University as a grad student, and my name Rajendra was shortened to Raj, which was similar to Rog (for Roger) and therefore easy to say. A friend in California, Kiran, shortened his to Ken, which proved useful to him in business- he was into real estate broking. He also converted his last name from Kenjale to Jolly, which I think is a stroke of genius.

In academics, we now have several Indians at US universities, who have adopted a different strategy. They use a name twice, one in a shortened form and another in the original. So you have a Nat Natarajan, or a Das Narayan Das (who is a friend, incidentally, a prof at Harvard), or Rajan Varadarajan (not sure if his is of this form, because Rajan could be a name too). I think this is an interesting way to do it, from a marketing point of view. Remember, there is an adage in advertising that the more you repeat your (product) name, the better it is for people to remember. So it is with people's names.

So I henceforth will rename myself as Kar Nargundkar. By the way, that does not rhyme with Car.

Quiz

Chhota Quiz

If Copy, Gopi (a name) and Gobi (the vegetable) all sound the same when pronounced in the local tongue, where are you?

Prize: Free trip on the next Mangalyaan (Mars tripper)

Hint: Not in the same place where Bus and Boss would sound the same (bonus for guessing both- a free CD of all of Arnab Goswami debates to carry with you on the free trip, so you don't miss home)

Americanisms and Britishisms

Right now we have an American and a Brit on campus doing various things. So I was reminded of an old joke. A Brit and an American were taking a walk. The Brit looked around him, and as is the habit of his countrymen, wanting to make conversation, said, "Spring in the air."

To which the surprised American replied, "Why should I?"

Not sure what an Indian would have done in a similar situation. He might have brought a small spring coil and thrown it up in the air, maybe?

Anyway, there is funny communication that happens all the time. Another classic that I remember from my experience is the play on the word 'bus' and 'boss' thanks to some friends from Orissa and Kerala, where they mix up these two words with hilarious consequences.

The Bengali propensity to pronounce a 'v' as a 'b' leads to amusing exchanges if one is not used to it. We had a sentence in school that made fun of this Bengali trait. You have to say, "Venkatramana, Venkatramana, why are you walking in the verandah?", with all the Vs and Ws pronounced as Bs.

Gujaratis are hilarious with some words too. They say 'snakes' when they mean snacks, and 'rape' when they want to say 'wrap'.

Anjaiah, an old Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh, was known for his lack of command over English and a few jokes became legendary. As in, he was shown around a hospital, and when they showed him the labour room where mothers in labour were housed, he praised the staff for taking care of their labourers (he used to be a minister for that Labour earlier). Well, let me not belabour the point. I suppose you got it by now. Say 'gotcha' if you did! 

Ghaati English

Ghaati English

Ghaatis (Maharashtrians) using angrezi are prone to some ‘Phamous’ mispronunciations and misuses and ‘lost in translation’ stuff, like all our bhai-behens around the country that is Bharat.

'Pen' is pronounced pain, and 'Bread', Braid.

‘What’ is pronounced with an emphasis on the WH. Same with ‘Whaay’.

‘Ready’ is usually Raidy. ‘For’ can become Phor, and ‘is’ borders on ij or iz, like in the middle of pizza.

‘Journalism’ is pronounced Jour ‘na’ (as in nag) lism, and computer is usually pronounced ‘Comp’ (as in romp) uter.

‘Exam’ is generally eggzhaam.

These are observations born of being part-Ghaati, but being in a situation where I lived away most of my life. By the way, I want to protest that there aren’t any good ghaati jokes on the net. I tried searching for them, not too successfully.