Leadership Types With a Twist

 Actually, it's different types of leaders. They get glorified unnecessarily, sometimes. But instead of a positive typology, let's look at some negatives or negative types among leaders, for a change. The following are the major ones-

1. Spineless 

2. Heartless

3. Witless

4. Bureaucratic

5. Consultant-driven

I shall elaborate. The first has no spine. He/ She will not back up subordinates, blame someone for all wrongs, and take credit for things he/she did not do/initiate

The second may be good at getting things done, at a great human cost. He/she does not recognise that humans are working for them (though it could be robots soon). No thoughts for feelings, or other unnecessary things that hamper work.  Sometimes, ethics also go out of the window.

The third are entertaining at best, and completely useless for the tasks on hand. 

The fourth act as if the organisation is a government office with file pushers- not doers. Nothing ever gets done, and subordinates get exhausted with procedure.

These guys come up with a new flavour-of-the month fad every month, usually suggested by BCG or McKinsey or a home-grown consultant. Everyone tries to do Design Thinking, or IoT, or Benchmarking for 4 weeks approximately, until a new word catches his/her attention.. and then, you know the rest. 

Leadership- With a Pinch of Salt

 Keep your tongue firmly in your cheek. This is not serious, unless you take it otherwise.

Leadership is of many types- for instance

1. Leader as Cop. He has to keep tabs on everyone, and try and hang at least one person a day, for crimes of omission, commission, or remission. Committed or not, because the cop is only as successful as his number count!

2. Leader as Saviour. He thinks he is the Noah who has to navigate the ship the subordinates are on to safety. If not, they may drown and he will shoulder the blame, and rot in Hell.

3. Leader as Parent. He thinks he has many idiot children (subordinates), who tend to be infantile. As a parent, it's his responsibility to knock some sense into them, so they can one day grow up! 

There could be more types, but I am tired now, so let me stop and take a (deep) breath!

Employee Types - For the HR Guys Out There

There are many types of typologies (this is a tautology), so another one won't hurt. This is an amalgam of my experience at various places I have worked in-

Type 1. Rabble-rouser (RR) : They rouse rabble. In other words, they foment unrest over things. What things? The things change, but they remain the same. The quality of food served in the canteen, the quality of pens procured by the office, the results of annual appraisal, the colour of the curtains,...it matters very little what the issue is. If there is rabble to be roused out of it, RR is there, on the job (pun intended).

Type 2. Boss's Mouthpiece (BM): The guy (or gal, in these equal opportunity times we live in) speaks as if he is echoing the words of the boss, a la Moses in The Ten Commandments. The boss can take a vacation, but the BM will do the needful. Make you feel right at home, as if the boss is around. Sometimes, the mouthpiece is so fast, he/she snatches the words out of the boss's mouth even before he utters them. One ridiculous extreme of this is a guy who used to say 'wah, wah' (wonderful, wonderful), after the boss said something-anything, as if it were a mushaira (poetry recital) rather than an office meeting.

Type 3: Indifferent Traveller (IT): This one acts as if he/she is doing everyone a favour by being there, not really concerned about anything happening around. A passenger who is there to enjoy the ride, if possible. Asked to do something extra, will try his/her best to wriggle out, with a good excuse.

Type 4: Promotion-hungry (PH): This has nothing to do with the ph value of a liquid, but these people are acidic in nature, basically (pun intended). They are forever trying (and not getting, otherwise they wouldn't be at it forever) for a promotion. If you try analysing their contribution to the organisation, they may be nowhere, but that's not how their mind works. They think the mission of the organisation is to promote them.

Well, there are more, but I am getting exhausted..so we'll meet after a coffee break. Might meet a few interesting types there.