Budgetary Musings

Why do we need a budget? To decide if the money is coming or going, of course.

If there is a lot of money coming in, it's a good thing, and it's called a surplus budget. Problem is, this happens only in Utopia (in case you didn't know, this does not actually exist). In the real world, there's more money going out than coming in, and that's not a good thing, generally. Unless you are the U.S.A.

So if there is more money going out than coming in, what do you do?

You spend less, theoretically. Practically, have you ever seen anyone do this? No, it's not macho at all. So, what else can you do? If you are the government, you can increase taxes. If all goods are already taxed enough, you introduce a service tax. If you run out of ideas, you can combine everything and call it a Goods and Services Tax.

But seriously, to quickly get to a surplus, we only need to introduce a spitting tax, on anyone who spits in a public place. Then you can laugh all the way to the bank.. Banks will also smile (if not laugh) and probably recover from their NPAs, or whatever they call them these days (stressed assets is a euphemism often heard).

A Five Point Program for Good Governance

Ask all government employees to stand in line and get a certificate from ten common citizens about their conduct on the job. Give all those who score less than 60% a one year warning to shape up or..

Put all rules on the web, pertaining to any government permission, license, permit etc. and ask the citizen to print the stuff, stick a picture if needed, and post a copy to the government official concerned (maybe a scan). If you don't hear from him in three days, the citizen is deemed to have got the certificate/license/permit. Then the burden shifts to the official to prove that the citizen should not be carrying that.

Remove all subsidies on gas cylinders. It does not help a household anyway-too small an amount. Instead, cut the inefficient supply chains and make gas available on demand. It will help shut down all the inefficient dealers. And bring prices down. Even if the prices don't go down, people will be willing to pay for efficiency and lack of time-wastage. Even better, supply piped gas and get rid of ALL dealers -and cylinders.

Collect fines on spitting and littering at a small rate, say 10 or 20 rupees an offence. Municipal bodies will be rolling in money for some years. Use the money to build roads, or subsidise public transport. That will reduce pollution and traffic.

Audit all election promises (make promises compulsory) every six months, and disqualify candidates with less than 70 percent unfulfilled promises. This is for the election commission.

Sit back, relax, and watch the country flower into a new, improved Republic.

GK goes to PK's planet

We recently were visited by Mr. PK, an alien from somewhere, according to the movie PK starring Aamir Khan. What is likely to be discovered if we send our guy-let's call him GK- to PK's planet?

Nothing, except the inhabitants, and maybe carrot farms.

No clothes, hence no FTV channel (its USP doesn't exist)

No fights, hence no need for dialogues such as "(Hindi) Main tera khoon pee jaoonga, kaminey"

No religion, and therefore, no salvation

No love, and hence no hate

No lying, and therefore no facebook

No paper- only transmission of knowledge through holding hands

No God-men, and no discourses by God-men. A few more TV channels gone!

No spitting, and hence no need for a Cleanliness Drive, by whatever name

No political parties, and therefore no Arnab Goswami.