Anopheles and Happiness in 2025

 My friend, Anopheles, the female mosquito with a sting, visited again, and I wished her a Happy New Year. She looked skeptical. 

"Are you sure?" she asked. 

"Sure of what?" I enquired.

"Of being happy, of course."

"Why not? Nirmala just gave us non-Ambanis a bonus on Income tax" I replied.

"Yes, but how many in this country earn that kind of money?" she wanted to know.

I was crestfallen. "Agree," I said. Drivers and maids still make about a lakh and a half a year. Rupees, not dollars. But look at the positives around the world." 

"Are you serious? You mean Trump? Or Putin? Or Xi?"

That last one hit close to home. I hurriedly diverted her. "No, no, I mean things like sustainability issues, slow travel, and climate change -people engaging with it."

"What about pollution, disease, and killer viruses?" I had to admit she had her data in place.

I said, "Yeah, you win some, you lose some." 

Anopheles then bowled a faster one. She said, "Wake up, or you'll lose the planet, and we, our blood supply." And added for effect, "even though it's not too healthy, what with cholesterol and so on in high doses.."

She left me in that state of being apologetic about our Race, as always, and flew off after a goodbye.

Wars and Humour

 You may think, like the East and the West, they (wars and humour) wouldn't meet (sorry, Kipling). But in my book (or blog) they do. Just one example, below-

Conversations between warlords Putin and Zelensky

Zelensky (he was a comedian earlier)- This is not funny. You are stepping on my toes, and disturbing the furniture in my house.

Putin- Go find some dole-outs from your new friends. 

Zelensky- I am joining NATO

Putin- Natu, Natu, I mean, naughty, naughty (under his breath - 'these damn Oscars! They get on my nerves. I prefer Awara hoon')

Zelensky- I will put you out to dry, Putin! 

Putin- That dialogue is czarring- I mean, jarring- to a modern Czar.

Zelensky- You ARE crude, like that oil you keep peddling as a carrot to all the world! And full of gas, like...

Putin- Shut up, or you will face the brand new missiles which I had to test on someone. 

Zelensky- Ha, I will then test all the anti-missile missiles that Germany, France, USA wanted tested..

Meanwhile, Xi smiles slyly, as he Ok's a new virus test in the rebranded lab at Wuhan...

Anopheles and I Discuss Corona

Not the beer, but the virus, also called COVID-19. Anopheles, as some of you know, is my female friend from the mosquito world. She and I have chatted before about many things that affect both our worlds.

Anopheles: Hello again!

I: Hi, long time no see..where have you been?

A: Nowhere in particular, just chilling and staying at home..

I: Hey, that's EXACTLY what we are supposed to do now, due to this Corona thing..

A: What Corona thing?

I: Haven't you been watching the news? Oh, sorry, you don't have TV channels..there's this virus. Called the Corona, and passed on by human contact.

A: Oh, so you can't blame it on us mosquitoes like you tend to all the time,..and what caused it to come around with such great force?

I: Trump thinks the Chinese did it while mixing up some exotic sauces.. but they think it was Budweiser trying to copy a Mexican brand of beer!

A: Hilarious! Sorry, I don't mean to be frivolous, but you mean He and Xi are still fighting?

I: (taking a different tack) Well, that's our lot, isn't it? Battle of the Sexes. Who would want to give up on their Superpower status without a fight? (I was now curious)..don't you have fights between Male and Female mosquitoes?

A: Not at all, the males we have are completely useless, and can't do anything well-not even fight. We do all the food-gathering, and educate our kids about what's good and bad!

She said bye at that, and I said, we would meet again, Corona willing.

Knowing Your Xis and Hus

It is getting exceedingly difficult to keep track of your Hus and Xis. I mean, it's one thing to know your Who's Who, but then, who is Xi?

World leaders, the least you can do is have easy names like Manmohan Singh, or Obama, or Karzai. It was even easier in the earlier, good old days, when we knew only three or four world leaders- Castro, easily identified by what he smoked- cigars, Bhutto, made easy to remember because of the resemblance of his name to the Indian name for corn - Bhutta, Bill, who was hard to forget because he was presented to you several times every month- for instance, when you ate out, and all the Russian leaders' names, because they were all same-looking and sounding, with a lot of consonants and no vowels worth the name in them. Only Polish names have more consonants.

Oh, yes, and Tito. What a simple name. Unfortunately, like the Yugo, a car from that country, he had to go, and then his country broke up into a few pieces-no one knows how many.