Anopheles and Trump- 2017

Anopheles was always perceptive about goings-on in the human world, though she was a mosquito, and I enjoyed my conversations with her. We had become friends ever since we had debated the merits of her tribe biting humans, a few years ago (she convinced me it wasn't such a big deal).

She was looking serious this time when she asked, "Who's this Trump character? And what's he known for?"

I am a follower of Gandhiji's maxim to speak the truth, so I replied, "He's known for groping, and running businesses into bankruptcy. And building walls between man and man."

She was aghast. "And he got elected to a high office?"
So I spoke what I thought was the truth again. "Women don't really count. We mostly treat them as an accessory in a man's life. Tell me, how is it in mosquito-land?"

She was thoughtful. "We don't discriminate among males and females. Everyone has equal rights and opportunities. All adults have to earn their own blood. Kids are brought up by both parents participating equally. There are no crimes against female mosquitoes, like you humans seem to have, if your news channels are to be believed." That stunned (Trumped?) me. One, she was even more aware than I had imagined, and two, they were a more advanced civilization than ours- on this count at least.

I muttered something about our race having lost the race, ..or something to that effect, and bid her goodnight- we had a gentle(wo)manly pact that she wouldn't bite, if I talked to her.

Bill of Marital Rights

I sometimes wonder why the words 'marital' and 'martial' are so close to each other. Is it indicative of the way most marriages are conducted? In the interest of peace, I think the time has come to come out with a Bill of Rights for married individuals. The Bill will be completely constitutional, will respect the sovereignty of God in Heaven, and still protect the voice of the oppressed (the married in this case).

Husband's Rights

To be silent: even under accusations, extreme provocation, etc. etc.

To read the newspaper undisturbed.

To watch his favourite sports event, without taunts. His only obligation will be to buy a second TV if there are conflicts of interest with his wife on what to watch.

To go out with friends at times unspecified, with return times undefined.

To forget birthdays, anniversaries.

Wife's Rights

To shop until the bags are bursting at the seams- (no one would notice these, as the husband would be reading the newspaper/watching the TV at such times) or till husband's salary runs out, whichever comes last.

To nag the husband about things he has not done, in this life and the last life.

To phone a friend and have long conversations even while not contesting Kaun Banega Crorepati.

To shed tears copiously once in six months, for reasons known to herself.

I think eternal peace will prevail, once this Bill of Rights becomes Law.