Terry Pratchett

 My introduction to this author happened recently, thanks to a present from Nishka, a former student and a writer herself. The book is called Nation, and it has a lot of wit and sarcasm, about Colonial Powers (especially European-the author is British). This story is a satirical take on a small island that gets wiped out by a Wave, but for one Man-Boy. Because he'd gone elsewhere to become a Man when the Wave hit.. 

A couple of survivors from other islands/boats come in, and their story of survival is the rest of it. There's a girl from the Trousermen initially, who helps him explore the scientific riches stored in The Grandfathers' cave, kept hidden from commoners. It proves that they had knowledge of astronomy and a lot more before the rest of the world. Her father accidentally becomes a King of his country, making her Princess.

Almost everything has a parallel in human history, except it's upside down. The islanders are far ahead, and others, backward. But this is hidden behind myths that the islanders have created, sometimes to preserve history, and to make it palatable. 

Interesting, and recommended if you like understated humour.

Traffic Jams- How to Utilise Them

The country's competitiveness and GDP can grow if we do the following (choose any two) during a traffic jam.

Invent a new product. Who says you have to be sitting on the "think tank" in order to think? You can use a traffic jam.

Think of 5 ways to kill your boss-he's the one hampering your productivity, right? (We didn't promise that it would be good for you-only for the country)

Throw apples at the passersby..the demand for apples will directly go up..you can also choose tomatoes, if they are selling at 100 bucks a kilo.

Honk until your battery goes dead..demand for car towing services will increase, and therefore,....

Order a takeaway pizza and desrcibe your location as the ---- jam..he'll understand, he'll deliver..you have managed to contribute your mite to mitigate the unemployment problem.

Write a resume/autobiography/poem/..circulate them to the other people in the jam.you may get lucky and find a publisher among them..or an employer..

Jail Bharo Andolan (Fill the Jail Revolution)

Sometimes I get  the idea after watching the mainstream media (or is it 'mainSCREAM'  media?) that our national objective is to jail as many people as possible. So, in line with this new objective, I propose that we invent new 'crimes' that will be treated as non-bailable offences. We can then cancel all mid-day meal and employment guarantee programs, because everyone (eventually) will be in jail either as a criminal or as a jailer watching over that criminal. The new list of crimes would include (the list is suggestive, not exhaustive)-

1. Being unemployed
2. Being sick
3. Having a terminal disease
4. Not being able to afford medicines
5. Being married
6. Having children
7. Being a journalist (ha, ha)
8. Being unmarried
9. Being a Facebook user
and
10. Being a blogger.

Chow. See you at lunch in a jail near you.

National Time-wasting Strategies

There is something we are no.1 in the world at- apart from producing babies, I mean. It has not been documented or certified, or we'd be at the top of the pops (no, not the baby-producing ones, the charts). We are the no. 1 Time-wasters in the world.

Time-wasting strategies, like those of corporates selling umbrellas, are seasonal. In April and May, we have the IPL- a so-called cricketing extravaganza, in which the cricket is hidden in a maze of before the match, after the match and during the match interruptions. Don't ask me how you can interrupt before the match-ask THEM.

In June-July, we crib about rain. Either too much, or too little. Shakespeare was right when he said something about floods leading to fortune. Famine or drought also leads to fortune for some.

August is a month we worry about foodgrain production not being enough. In September, we start planning vacations for the next three months. In the next three months, we actually go on holidays for Dasara/Durga-pooja, Diwali, Christmas, New Year, and a few others in between.

January is spent talking about the New Year party and the Christmas holidays, and how we plan to actually work in the new year. February is usually a mixed month, because there is an anticipation of a budget being presented at the end of the month, and March is spent dissecting the same after it is presented.

Test matches, football matches (even though we rank 189th out of 190 in the world here) and price hikes from onions to petrol, and evil bosses at work to destroy our careers are other hot topics. Celebrity gossip (whether Aishwarya is pregnant a second time, etc.)  takes away whatever remains, and we are left with little time to contribute to our GDP. No wonder we are growing at a snail's pace again.

And then, when we have the time, we crib about not having any.

Why a Bandh is Socially Relevant

Rather provocative thought, eh? Well, I gave it a thought, and the conclusion was inescapable- that bandhs are socially relevant in our country. Not only that, they take you forward. Now for the people unfamiliar with this concept, it is this. Bandh means closed. The entire nation decides that it will shut down. This achieves many things. It brings into sharp focus that you were not doing anything useful on all the other days when you were ostensibly working- and getting paid. So now the employers can take a call on whether to retain you. And reduce their (corporate India's) losses.

Politically, it is like a jam session in the boxing rink. It separates the men from the boys. The number of buses burnt can be tallied like a cricket batsman's score, or maybe the older head hunter's score (we are not talking human resources here, but the old sword tricks). And the top scorers can hope to win the next election, unless there are better scores from others.

For the normal, harried human, this is his golden chance to go on a long drive with his family, his beloved or whoever he wants to drive with. Even alone, it is a pleasure. Avoid unruly mobs though.

The economy can take a breath and come back refreshed. Banks can take a break from incessant demands for cash and other services. Don't we need a holiday once in a while? Then the nation deserves one too, once in  away. Now if only mobile phones learnt to do so....

National Characteristics-India

This is a new theory of the world. To be debated, before accepting it or rejecting it. The theory is that each nation has some unique characteristics. You could call them core competences, if you wish. These a nation is naturally good at. Other things, it struggles with.

On to the first case study, one we know best. India. We are good at things that do not need us to work with our hands. But we are good at things that move through the air. Like talk. Notice how we can solve every problem (our own and that of the world) through talking about it. Yak, yak, yak. We are damn good at it (The Bongs have raised it to a fine art, but the rest of us are not too far behind). But if it needs work- read plumbing, carpentry, road building- we are downcast, and would rather avoid it. Or do it half-heartedly. Not for us the hard work involved in laying roads, maintaining them etc. etc..

But get into the air, and we are a different country. Look at telecom. While it was wired, with BSNL, and all the digging of roads to lay cables, we were terrible. But the moment we went wireless, telecom boomed, and aided by our propensity to talk, we are one of the largest occupiers of airwaves in the world. Our national song should be 'Hawa mein udta jaaye', or maybe 'Hawa Hawaai...'.

Jessica and The Fourth Estate

I saw No One Killed Jessica yesterday. The impact of the film is like a Muhammad Ali punch in the solar plexus. The difference is, the punch would knock you out for a few hours, but this one gets you thinking, at least for some time, about ourselves as a society. Two other films which had a similar impact were A Wednesday, and Aamir (which I believe had the same director as Jessica). Aakrosh, about honour killings, was also good, though the punch was slightly held back, it seems.

The story was already there, but making it into a tight script and keeping the audience engrossed can still be difficult. Also, to make certain things stand out, effective dialogue is a necessity. The cop asking Vidya Balan, "Kaise logon ke saath ghoomte firte hain aap?" after every one of the 300 guests refuses to acknowledge they were present at the crime scene was very effective. Rani Mukherjee's unflinching attitude towards her work, and her acknowledgement that she made a mistake in not taking up the story earlier are other high points.

Vidya Balan has played the nerdy Sabrina very well indeed. She is one of my favorite actresses of the present time. What the movie also does is that it underscores that the demonised media sometimes is the only watchdog left in a democratic society, which sometimes begins to resemble a jungle. Watergate and the journos there who nalied Nixon also made this point. Hope to see more of this director.