Character Sketches 2

Continuing with the thoughts in the last posting, here are some more, this time in the form of job profiles.

The IPL Commissioner- A Job Profile

You are expected to 'modi'fy the existing game format, the rules, the timings, in short, everything about cricket. The EQ, or the entertainment quotient, has to be as close to 100% with glitz, glamour, cheerful behavior (particularly of the leaders), whiff on controversies ensuring continuous media limelight. Unexpected winners and losers are a must in as many matches as possible, to keep bookies on their toes. A twitter account is the minimum qualification, as in the case of certain ministries of state.

A Management Guru

You have to spawn a new vocabulary, and a new 'paradigm' which is expected to change the business world forever. A best-seller outlining 10 ways to achieve the largest market share in any business in 1 year, is mandatory. You must wear a three-piece suit even in peak summer, so that your brand value is not eroded, corroded, etc. You must also have a travel itinerary that spans the world, so you can be unavailable for appointment seekers, again enhancing your value through what cine-stars have been practising for ages- being elusive.

A run-of-the mill Guru

These are now perfected recipes. Take 1 ashram on the outskirts of any city with a large population of IT or other rich guys. Mix one measure of robes of any colour. Give gyan in a branded course on anything under the sun, including yoga, pranayam, breathing, or anything Sanskrit-sounding. Throw in a dash of calisthenics on any spiritual TV channel by buying enough airtime, and you are all set. Buy a couple of currency counting machines (or borrow from chief of Medical Council of India) to keep track of the cash. Do some invigorating exercises, after making sure there are no hidden cameras.

Character Sketches

This is inspired by the Marathi humourist P.L. Deshpande, who wrote some immortal character sketches. Of course, these may be nowhere near his in quality. But that doesn't stop me from attempting some.

The Man Who Knows Too Much

This is the watchman at any residential complex gate. He knows exactly what is happening inside, and who is coming or going. In case there is a murder in the residential complex, his testimony is crucial. Has to keep tabs on parking of sundry vehicles, and tries to fob off guests trying to park inside. Also a useful chap when the housewife has small errands like calling the dhobi, or the raddiwala, or the absconding maid needs a stern reminder. At other times, his sphinx-like appearance belies his alert mind, at least in the daytime. He may be occasionally found snoring at night, but never goofs off more than the average office-goer.

The Indian Student in 12th

This is a person who has to answer 3 times a day, for 1 year, the same dreaded question- "So, WHAT are you planning to do?" from all and sundry. Even tougher than answering the board exam questions. If she makes it to the dream courses like engineering or whatever, she is considered a success by everybody. But if she does not, God has to help her, like Krishna came to the aid of Draupadi. If she happens to have an interest which is somewhat non-mainstream, then even God is of little help. You can admire a Sania (or a Saina), but you can't aspire to be one, is the golden rule here.

A Girl Over 21

"So, what are your marriage plans?" goes the question for this one, on the lines of the question above. If you don't have any, you better be a celebrity, or else....all the older relatives feel left out of the 'family affairs'if this girl seems to be independent minded far as marriage plans go. It is after all, everybody's business what the girl does- for example, what would the Khap panchayats do if they can't sponsor a few honour killings now and then?

The Climatologist

He produces reports on the next climate disaster about to happen, such as floods- only to find that there is a drought. This is somewhat like predicting a tornado, and ending up with a tsunami. While the glacier-melting prophecies were being hotly debated, a volcano quietly put everyone in their place. Nevertheless, an interesting species, which recognises the fallibility of man. Unlike the cricket bookies, who know exactly which team will win the next T20 match.

Anniversary

It was April last year that I published my autobiography through pothi.com, an online self-publishing outfit. As an anniversary reminder to myself, here are snippets from one of the chapters- 

                                                                              Chapter 17: My Students over the Years If thou art a teacher, thou shalt have students- Book of Socrates, XVIIII, page 2345. I run into them everywhere, from South Indian joints in Kolkata to alumni meets in Hyderabad, to the malls in Bangalore. Sometimes it appears as if I know half the management grads in India, and sometimes it’s a good feeling, except it makes me feel very old. Here is a brief intro to some of them. 

 Padmapriya: Now a heroine of repute in Mallu movies, was a great classical dancer, and teamed very well with Jimmy, her batchmate at Kirloskar Institute, for some great dance performances. 

 Joy: Was one of the really mature students, with a zest for life who did well for himself after the PGDM at Kirloskar Institute. Was from the City of Joy, too. Worked for UB, Himalaya and then, Coke. Married a batchmate, Alaknanda Dasgupta. 

 Jogeswari: A topper of her batch at Kirloskar Institute, originally from Guntur, which is hot, hot, hot. Had a fan club at the institute. Joined Google after a sabbatical from work. Given to long silences, broken after persistent emails. Attempted to get into the IAS, for reasons unknown, but fortunately remained a normal human being (non-IAS). 

 Manisha: A family friend who became a student (at Kirloskar), and found her match, Pushpendu, while at it. A trip to Japan with him, and she learnt to like India. 

 Shveta: Another bright Bangalorean from Mount Carmel, did (doing?) very well at her marketing job at the India Today group. A good example of a BA and MBA doing very well in a career. Are the engineers wasting their time? 

 Aditi Sood: She and I had a common interest in Deepak Chopra when she was at Kirloskar Institute. Met again at Kolkata until she got married and left for the land of milk and honey, and George Bush- the U.S., I mean. 

 Nidhi: My protégé at Kirloskar, she was a bubbly girl, all smiles, and we also met again at Lucknow (where her husband Milind hailed from) and Mumbai. 

 Aman Chawla: The high enthu man from Vizag, owner of a resort or some such thing at his hometown, happy-go-lucky student. 

 Gaurav Gollerkeri: At IIMK, a graduate of PESIT, which I later joined, and went on to do a Ph.D. in London. His idol was (no, not me) Raghuram Rajan of the IMF/ World Bank. 

 Sanjeev Undri: A guy from Belgaum (where is that? On the border of Maharashtra and Karnataka) who went beyond his potential in everything he did. The smile never left his face in any situation. Student at PESIM, Bangalore. One of the rare motivated guys in the university MBA system. 

 Anusha Ramakrishnan: a student assistant at PESIT, who kept in touch. Got into writing, and headed off to Finland post marriage. Her consolation may be that there is light at the end of six months. 

 Veena Singh: Helped me write a chapter on Indian brands for my book on Brand Management. One of the bright students of the International Business batch at IFIM which visited Grenoble en-masse. Now works for Unilever Research at Bangalore.

Goal oriented Socializing

I am on a round of socializing with friends- my mom's! She is visiting Nagpur, and many of her friends from work days in Andhra Pradesh are settled here. So we made a list of 5 families to visit in a week. Managed to do 2, and will complete the rest before she moves out of Nagpur. It sure makes the heat bearable, meeting someone after 10 or 15 years, and remembering old times. Once one reaches 50, which I will soon, life is a series of many Rewinds interspersed with Forwards (not fast forwards) and of course, the Play button being on continuously at all other times.

The above families of course have offspring, and some were my friends too, so I am getting back in touch with a few in this process. One of my daughters is here too, and it's a great feeling to have one. I have two, so it's a Double dose. No idea if a mom feels the same way about a son- probably does for a while, at least.

Met a friend's son recently who was struck down by a car in his sheltered Delhi campus, and had to lie down for 6 months- at age 21 or so. What a major pain-but seemed cheerful enough when I spoke to him. He is walking around slowly now.

The mangoes are in season, just after the oranges went out of it. The Banganapalle variety from Andhra is also popular here, and the prices are pretty down to earth. So a few weeks of fun with mangoes.

An alumni meet of IMT Nagpur (where I work) is coming up at Delhi on 8th, with some 100 plus alumni from 5 batches expected. We also have announced a Case Conference at Goa in November, to attract case writers to present their cases.

Media Scams

In the good old days, there were some scoops- Dharam-Hema, Amitabh-Rekha, and other varieties, splashed across Stardust. Now there are scams- Harshad Mehta (stock-market scam), Lalit Modi-Shashi Tharoor-investors, blah, blah blah (IPL scam), Nirav Modi scam, Fodder scam, Abdul Karim Telgi (stamp paper scam),  Nityananda (the holy smoke scam), Ram-Rahim, Asaram, and a few other Babas in a jam...

What our scam-thirsty public can endure, or even cherish, we don't yet know. The boundaries of common decency and privacy have already been breached, and the paparazzi rule our lives- sometimes, a la episode Diana, causing deaths too.

Scams can get boring too, but then you have the IPL (not the scam, the game), FIFA (not being anywhere on the world map doesn't stop us from watching those who are), the child bride shows, the dance beta dance (or some similar titled one). The nice comedy serials are somehow missing after Kapil went into a depression, and any serials with an intelligent story are even more missing. The GOT is the only GoTo serial, it seems..

Ingrid Bergman

I think Ingrid was the Madhubala of western movies- lovely in black and white! But I came across a book written by her PR agent in Hollywood, and her early years were spent motherless, fatherless, and thinking she was no good- at least socially, and in many other ways. Nobody wanted to date her, and she still survived-and how! She also came across as a very normal, unstarry person after she became famous, which is almost impossible to imagine these days- maybe even those days. At the height of her career in Hollywood she did a long stint on Broadway, because she wanted to play Joan of Arc-it was her dream.

Though I have seen only two movies of hers- Casablanca and one of Ingmar Bergman's, I think..I am a big fan..plan to see some more of her films if I can get hold of them.

Bliss et al

The pursuit of bliss has driven mankind into a variety of activities- from praying to making money, and several others. But a journalist has actually gone to various countries to study how happy people there are. The result is a book, The Geography of Bliss. Written in a very engaging style, it starts with Netherlands, where happiness is a subject of university researchers, to Bhutan, which measures Gross National Happiness rather than Gross National Product, to Switzerland, Qatar, India, and a few other countries in between.

What happens everywhere is quite educational. The Himalayan country of Bhutan itself is a calming influence on visitors and residents alike. They look at life differently, not only materialistically. The residents want monarchy to continue, whereas the king wants to bring in democracy.

Happiness is linked to living in the present, paying attention to what we do, being nice to people, having some money (though not as much as we think), having unpredictability in life (even good things get monotonous after some time?), and above all, feeling you are linked to something or things beyond yourself- the cosmos, or ancestors, or future generations, other animate (or inanimate) beings, etc...

Switzerland is boring, Qatar has no culture (?), India is chaotic but has its fans who feel at home here (I am one), are some of the findings. I am yet to complete the book, but these nuggets of wisdom were endearing.

Happiness also may have something to do with age and marital status (this is my own theory)-children seem to be happy most of the time- the cribbing increases as we age..married people seem happy in spite of cribbing..a paradox?

Dubai pics

An update with Dubai pics from my recent visit along with colleagues. This is my first time using images here, and I hope these turn out.Ok, I mean. If not, please go to http://picasaweb.google.co.in/rnargundkar for the album. That at least should work.