Character Sketches

This is inspired by the Marathi humourist P.L. Deshpande, who wrote some immortal character sketches. Of course, these may be nowhere near his in quality. But that doesn't stop me from attempting some.

The Man Who Knows Too Much

This is the watchman at any residential complex gate. He knows exactly what is happening inside, and who is coming or going. In case there is a murder in the residential complex, his testimony is crucial. Has to keep tabs on parking of sundry vehicles, and tries to fob off guests trying to park inside. Also a useful chap when the housewife has small errands like calling the dhobi, or the raddiwala, or the absconding maid needs a stern reminder. At other times, his sphinx-like appearance belies his alert mind, at least in the daytime. He may be occasionally found snoring at night, but never goofs off more than the average office-goer.

The Indian Student in 12th

This is a person who has to answer 3 times a day, for 1 year, the same dreaded question- "So, WHAT are you planning to do?" from all and sundry. Even tougher than answering the board exam questions. If she makes it to the dream courses like engineering or whatever, she is considered a success by everybody. But if she does not, God has to help her, like Krishna came to the aid of Draupadi. If she happens to have an interest which is somewhat non-mainstream, then even God is of little help. You can admire a Sania (or a Saina), but you can't aspire to be one, is the golden rule here.

A Girl Over 21

"So, what are your marriage plans?" goes the question for this one, on the lines of the question above. If you don't have any, you better be a celebrity, or else....all the older relatives feel left out of the 'family affairs'if this girl seems to be independent minded far as marriage plans go. It is after all, everybody's business what the girl does- for example, what would the Khap panchayats do if they can't sponsor a few honour killings now and then?

The Climatologist

He produces reports on the next climate disaster about to happen, such as floods- only to find that there is a drought. This is somewhat like predicting a tornado, and ending up with a tsunami. While the glacier-melting prophecies were being hotly debated, a volcano quietly put everyone in their place. Nevertheless, an interesting species, which recognises the fallibility of man. Unlike the cricket bookies, who know exactly which team will win the next T20 match.