Humour of a Kind

 All these are from Anguished English by Richard Lederer. There are many more where these came from-in the book.

Some Student Bloopers

• A myth is a female moth.
• Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
• Then came the Middle Ages, when everyone was middle-aged.
• Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
• Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music.

Some quotes-

1. Monotheism is a gift from the gods.
2. It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.
3. Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.
4. I wish the Arabs and the Jews would settle their differences like Christian gentlemen- attributed to Arthur Balfour.

Notice on a doctor's door- Specialist in women and other diseases.