Demonetised Jokes

Don't demonise demonetisation- it's the wrong spelling.

A Demo was never so effective before.

What's the opposite of demonetise? Democratise (Cash supply).

What happens if you demonetise again and again? You become ir-redeemable.

What did the RBI guv say? I promise to pay you a sum of..conditions apply.

Who sang a song about demo? Remo.

What's it for the black money hoarders? Pay(back)- t(i)m(e)- in short, Paytm.

What I Learnt From...

You don't learn only from text books. Life's lessons are everywhere..these were some of mine. Not an exhaustive list.

I learnt unconditional love from my many aunts/cousins..still some way to go in practising it.

I learnt how to quip from Ameen Sayani, my favourite radio host - jockey sounds disrespectful in his case. He connected song to something interesting, always, in Binaca Geet Mala.

Learnt how to wiggle my eyebrows from an Uncle- it was great fun. Still is.

How to cook, from roommates and friends in the U.S. Quick and filling, was the key.

How to laugh, from reading PG Wodehouse, Asterix comics, and many others like Pu La, the Marathi humourist.

How to appreciate drama, from watching Bollywood films, children, teenagers,..

To appreciate music, from listening to GREAT singers- Rafi, Kishore, Hemant, Talat, Asha, Geeta, ..

Teaching, by experimenting with many different ideas, not being wedded to any one..

Writing, I have no idea how..

New Songs for Changeing Times

New songs must be coined for the çhanged, or changing times.- where you are either short of change, or short of money itself. Here is an attempt. Inspiration is from old songs, of course- original thinking is passe- haven't you heard?

Ooo khilona, jaan kar tum toh purana note laati ho..

Jeena bhi kya hai jeena, ATM lines ke bina..oo ho ho, aa ha ha..

O majhi re, purane note le ja, nadiya ki dhara mein..

Zindagi ka safar, hai yeh kaisa suffer, koi note nahin, hai toh chalta nahin..

Yaadon ki baraat nikli hai aaj dil ke dwaare, purane noton ke haar pehne Mayawati ko pukaare..

Main to chala, jidhar ATM dikha, kahan meri manzil, mujhe kya pata..

Hum black money wale, hargiz na the, par hum white bhi ikattha kar na sake, humko mili iski sazaa, paise ke liye dar dar phire..jhingalala hoom, jhingala hoom.

Koi maane ya na maane jo kal tak the anjaane woh aaj hamein jaan se bhi pyare ho gaye (new notes- no change in original lyrics here)

The Colour of Money and People

The colours are important. Black or white. You are looked at through jaundiced (yellow) eyes. You may be pure as driven snow (white), or Snow White herself. Or you may be a Grey or worse. People end up revealing their true colours at some point.

We learn to colour things early-with our drawing books. Beauty may lie in the eyes of the beholder, but colours have a lot to do with it. A red rose would not be the same if it was some lesser colour. The blue of the sea and the green of the valley is something we cherish.

The money too. The black is what is earned through foul means. So taking money out and forcing people to work and barter their labour for something may be a good way to purge humanity of its ills. We are temporarily is such a state with the demonetisation, and have begun to appreciate how a poor man lives without any cash, for days on end. The month-end syndrome of no cash has become a daily occurrence for the last few days.

The new notes are of a different colour altogether. Hope they bring in a change of perspective for our coloured perceptions about things that are important for all of us.

Living with Change of Places

I have lived in Bangalore, Bhubaneswar, Lucknow, Mumbai, Harihar, Hyderabad, Interior Andhra Pradesh, Calicut, Indore, Nagpur, Delhi, Clemson, Greenwood (both in the US)...

The upshot of all this is I feel like a global citizen, because of the variety of people that I have encountered in these places. To their credit, most people I came across have been Good to Great (to filch the bestselling title of a book), with just a few exceptions.

The things I remember the most are the good things - the Oranges, the kababs, the biryani, the pickles, the chaats, the chhole-bhature, the Chettinad chicken, the fish, the Pizza Huts (in the US, they were a favourite), the California Rose wine, Mahatma brand of rice (in the US), the Fall Colours (amazing work of nature), the lakes and mountains of South Carolina, Virginia, the Geysers and multi-hued terraces at Yellowstone, stalactites and stalagmites at Carlsbad Caverns (Arizona), Bryce Canyon and Grand Canyon, Muzappilangad beach (though I can't pronounce that), Edla vagu and Muredu vagu (these are rivers in A.P.), Nagarjunasagar, Kinnersani,...World Trade Centre (before they fell), Mandu, Lonar crater...you get the picture. If you don't, look at my facebook history.

That's me (centre-of the pic, not the Universe!) and Anil (left)- Oonche log, oonchi pasand.

What Elections Mean- to us and the US

They give you an illusion that you (and they) are going to change the world, most of the time. If that were true, it should have changed every five years- or four. Sometimes, your world changes for the better. More often, it remains the same, because the visible portion of the government changes, and the invisible remains more or less the same. Where are the big ideas that will change lives dramatically? I fail to see what either Hillary or Trump will do in that direction. Nothing that I heard in the flashes of the debates that I saw gave me even a clue.

So it may not really change anything for most of the people in the U.S., if I can make a prediction. And to think that India needs a particular President in the U.S. to do well itself is really foolish. We have to pull up our socks and work at it, in more ways than one. One of these ways is stop expecting any miracles from our government, and work harder if we want to see results.

You could of course, dismiss these as ramblings of an apolitical citizen. And you would be right!

Albums- Hindi

There are great songs in Hindi films, but this is about a whole album of a Hindi film being good. Most of these are from the 70s, or earlier. You can add your own favourites to the following-

1. Waqt

2. The Train

3. Mere Jeevan Sathi

4. Aradhana

5. Rajnigandha

6. Chitchor

7. Khel Khel Mein

8. Guide

9. Johnny Mera Naam

10. Amar Prem

11. Jawani Diwani

12. Anand

13. Hamraaz (Sunil Dutt)

14. Aandhi

15. Jewel Thief

Lost in translation?

What would some global characters/people/films translate to, if they were Indianised?

James Bond would be Janu Bande and 007, shunya, shunya saat. M would be Ma, in Hindi.

Star Wars would be Sitaron ki Jung.

Star Trek could be Chalat musafir taron ke sung.

Herbie Goes Bananas would be Haribhai gaye kele lene.

Mackenna's Gold, (in Telugu)- Venkanna Bangaram.

Game of Thrones- Singhasan pe siyasat.

and the reverse.

Anarkali would be Pomogranate-bud.

Chacha Chaudhary would be Uncle Chow.

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam would be  Baby, I gave you my heart.

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, would be That guy Prem gets the pie.

Shivaay- Film Review

Ajay Devgn is an actor I like, right from his debut film Phool aur Kaante. I am not so sure about his directorial capabilities, though. A good director has to be a good editor, for me. This film is badly edited.

The story is good- actually, gripping at times. The acting is uniformly good. The casting is almost perfect. The only problem I have is the length of the movie. About 20-25 minutes shorter, it would rank high up there. That's where Bond usually scores over his Bollywood rivals.

Girish Karnad is the only character in the film who keeps it short and sweet. All others stretch their dialogue or scenes too long, in my not-so-humble view. The special effects, action (Bond-ish) and the scenery keep you interested, for most part. I was impressed by the lovely Erika Kaar, by far the best import into Bollywood in recent times. The kid (Abigail) too played her part well.

This is Erika Kaar, a Polish actress who plays the heroine.

Book Review- Love, Lies and Layoffs

I read mostly non-fiction, unless a Murakami strikes. Or a Wodehouse. But every once in a while (Old Jungle Saying, like in Phantom Comics), I read something that I picked up impulsively at the airport..just because it looks interesting.

This one is a well-written story of an office romance- utterly predictable, between a guy and a girl at a media house. Office politics is the villain, rather than any one person, that hangs like a cloud over the love-birds. The supporting cast is impressive, from bimbettes to well-meaning alcoholics. Sort of 'Na tum jaano na hum' in prose.

The corporate shenanigans instantly brought in thoughts of the ongoing Tata-Mistry saga that's playing out as we speak. This one's smaller in scale, but interesting nevertheless. One identifies with Frieda, the narrator, which is half the battle won for the author in any story.

Nice read, for its style, realism and wit. My first with Usha Narayanan, the author.

Hillarious Observations on the 2016 Elections

Now that we are close to the end of a tragi-comic sequence of events leading to many Americans wishing that they had more Trudeau (pun intended) with candidate selection, we can brace for the aftermath.

If Trump gets elected, I will start a wall-building company, before Hiranandani or other construction companies get in. The Mexican border is big, and can keep me rich for 4 years.

If Hillary becomes President, I will start an email-destroying company, and get rich. If a mere secretary of state destroyed 35,000, imagine how many a Prez can destroy?

The Pentagon may be re-named The Hexagon, with a multi-faced President deciding that 5 sides are too few.

Ab ki baar, Trump sarkar, ya Hillary ke achche din aa gaye? Tension is increasing. Fox (news) is panting, and the stock markets are watching. Voters, I am sure, are wondering..what to do.