Dating Versus Marriage

 No, I haven't turned into a dating guru overnight. But thought I would point out a few differences.

1. You are trying to impress a date, and not really trying to impress a spouse..most of the time. Reason is you think you have achieved your goal-if you got married to that person.

2. Money problems don't exist while you are dating. You scramble, and find the money, or you have enough to spare for the project. Marriage, you never know. Depends on whether one or both of you are spendthrifts, or thrifty. Jokes about each other's spending habits are par for the course, as are a few others.

3. A meeting of bodies is no guarantee of a meeting of minds. Divergence in thinking is not obvious at first glance, and only comes to the fore over the long term- 2 years or more. Considering a marriage can be a 30-40 year affair, that is a long time to consider.

4. Short term versus long term is always going to be different. Children also add to the change of equation, or priorities. Raising them require different skills from keeping each other happy, and it can be stressful, because cuddling a kid for a few minutes is different from raising a full human being over 20 years. 

5. My advice for the married-if anyone wants it- is, take it easy. You are not trying to prove anything. Just go with the flow, and be nice to each other if you can. The rest will take care of itself.


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