Fogged Out

It was cold and breezy this morning, reminding me of Delhi. I am glad Indore is milder, because the days are pretty warm and sunny-at least thus far. Delhi winters got me down usually, having grown up in the sunny southern state of Andhra Pradesh.

Contemplation about life and years well-spent (living it) is the norm around this time of the year, so I thought I would sit and meditate for a while. But my dilemma was, that in meditation you are generally asked to think of nothing. So, how can one think of something while concentrating on nothing?

Anyway, I am now attempting to do a bit of both-something and nothing. The thing is, I like doing both. And therefore, will idly think about work and while working, ideate about idling. I have got it down to a fine art. Consultancy is on offer for those interested. Fees are negotiable. 

Dhoom 3: A Review

Indian film-makers are now learning the art of making sequels. But their editing skills are still far from satisfactory. An exception like Sholay can pull off a three-hour film. But by and large, others fall short. The reason Sholay pulled it off was because of brilliance in every department-acting, cinematography, dialogue and songs. None of these qualities are present in Dhoom 3. Though they are good, they are not brilliant. The songs are actually awful.

What salvages Dhoom 3 is Aamir Khan. It is a role written for him, and he revels in it, backed by some spectacular stunts-though some are old and tiresome, like the motorbike going under a truck. Nevertheless, some are quite breath-taking, like motorcycling across buildings on a rope.

Another thing I liked about the film is that it equalizes the Chicago police with our own- they come out as chumps, like their Indian counterparts in most films. If this is not globalization, what is?

Coming to the story, a circus owner kills himself in Chicago because a bank refuses to loan him the capital he needs to keep going. His son takes revenge, by destroying the bank in question, mainly through looting it in typical filmy robbery sequences-which is fine.

What I was unable to figure out, was The Great Indian Circus that only plays indoors, and does not have a single child in its audience. The indoor colour scheme was a bit dull, I thought, for a circus.

Amir Khan, though he has started visibly aging, pulls off an angry young (!) man role well. Uday Chopra is joined by Abhishek in a role fit for an extra (bit players are termed that in our country). The climax shot on top of Hoover dam is a visual delight. Since I don’t like Katrina, I will refrain from commenting on her.

The promos of the film made me want to see it. It is worth a look, if you liked the earlier Dhooms, or if you like Aamir. Since both are a ‘yes’ for me, I came out OK.

Rahat Indori

Just trying to recollect people with names like the headlined one. The film line had a few, like Sahir Ludhianvi, Hasrat Jaipuri, Majrooh Sultanpuri, Firaqt Gorakhpuri, etc.

In our side (hamaare wahan) it is common to have a 'kar' suffixed to the gaon- as in Nargund 'kar' rather than an 'i' like the above example. An 'e' at the end as in Raje, Bhide, Gore, Khare (means 'true' in Marathi), Khote (means falsehood) also signifies some names in those places, though there are no place-names attached/embedded.

Srinath the fast bowler was from Javagal. AK Hangal presumably from Hangal, a place in Karnataka, and Prakash Padukone, you guessed it- from Padukone. By the way, so was Guru Dutt (he was not Bengali).

Surnames are often derived from professions or titles, like Mistry, Batliwala, Tailor, Carpenter, or Cabinetmaker. Or Joshi, Patwari and so on. Or how many Vedas you could claim mastery over- two, three or four (Dwivedi, Trivedi, Chaturvedi respectively).

Punjab Da Puttar

Continuing my serial encounters with regional heavyweights.

I met a hatta-katta Punjabi the other day. I asked him where he was going.

“Kanaada,” was the reply.

“Why do you guys like Canada so much?” was my innocent question.

“Bekaas Trronto is a great place, yaar” he said.

“But why?” I persisted.

“It’s a ‘player’ to stay there. Good climate, nice people, clean surroundings. Not like Delhi.”

“But if everyone goes to Canada, won’t it become like Delhi?” I was inquisitive, and persistent.

“Oye, main parathe wali dukaan thode hi kholoonga udhar (do you think I’ll open a paratha shop there?)”

“Nahin, nahin, paaji, my matlab was not like that,” I apologized. “I just wanted to know ki why you all don’t want to live in our country.”

“Simpal, yaar. We are still thinking like the British. Commonwealth country with only a few wealthy people. We have mobiles, but nothing to eat. Aston Martin is used to reduce the population, only. Election=inflation is a mathematical reality. We are losing our ‘chracter’ and the aam aadmi (common man) can’t afford an aam (mango).”

I said, “Paaji, you are right. But we have some national treasures like the three Khans, The Big Boss among them, and Kapil Sharma. How can you compare Canada with us?”

He said, “Trronto chal tujhe dikhaata hoon”  (Come to Toronto, I’ll show you). On that note, we parted amicably.

The Curious Case of Compatibility

The compatibility I am referring to is not that of husbands with wives, mainly because that would need a platform much larger than a piffling blog. No, I am talking about compatibility of hardware. As in, apple and orange- or rather, Apple and Microsoft. Or Apple and vendors of Microsoft such as HP.

This is after watching a technician struggle to put an HP printer in touch with an Apple Mac at a colleague's office here. Many attempts later, the two pieces of smartware (too smart, if you ask me) refuse to shake hands, or whatever it is they shake in the technical world they inhabit.

Funny, you would think that millions of 'customer-centric marketing' lessons later, compatibility would be a given. Guess again. We marketing profs. shall carry on gamely, nevertheless...

At Wit's End by Erma Bombeck

She is a female Dave Barry- very funny and readable. Not sure if I read anything of her before- probably not, because I would have remembered!

Scathing about life and all its majesty ( I am trying to be funny)- marriage, ageing, kids, husbands, and most everything besides, are her targets. Some of her funniest lines catch you unawares, and the fun multiplies. or instance,

" My children see me as four wheels, a motor, and a drive shaft. I am Snow White with a set of car keys." or, " I don't think women outlive men. It only seems longer."

Or about vacations- "The compulsive desire to buy a carful of souvenirs became so bad, we had to set down some explicit rules."
and "Next to children on a trip, there is nothing more trying than their father."

"Our daughter said she was going to let her hair grow. Like a fool I thought she meant down her back. Little  did I dream it would cascade over her face.."

Many sterling observations like these make it a joy read!

My Marketing Prof

This was a recent gathering that turned out to be my farewell at Delhi. What is remarkable is that my marketing prof. from IIMB, Dr. JD Singh, also joined us at the Foreign Correspondents' Club. He made marketing so interesting, that many of us - Kusum, Narayan Das, Sankar Ganesan, Nanda Kumar, in the US, and me, Harish Chaudhary, and some part-timers like Manglik followed his footsteps. Great Guy!