Arrogant Ads

There is this latest fad on facebook of trying to impress the potential reader with the line “..and what he did next will amaze you” or something equally inane. If I was amazed at every little thing happening around me, I would indeed be amazing(ly stupid).

Ads that are trying to entice people to buy (or read or view) can’t afford to be arrogant, in my not-so-arrogant opinion- won’t go so far as to call it IMHO. Otherwise, you will end up killing whatever chances you have of attracting customers (readers/viewers). Why, then, do we have such lines?

Maybe it’s easier to be arrogant. Ask Arnab. His dictionary does not have the section starting with “h” and therefore humility is something that is beyond him. Before him, Karan Thapar tried the same trick. Where is he today?

And pray what is this I hear about 'The Amazing Spiderman?' You mean the guy who spun webs earlier was just an ordinary man (or spider)? 

Unreal Elections- The Book

The creators of Unreal Times are at their trenchant best in this ode to Elections 2014. Nobody is spared in this fictionalised account of the Great Indian Election Drama. The guy who is let off somewhat easily is actually Arvind Kejriwal, and as an afterthought, Rahul Gandhi. But all through the book, until the end, it is pure delight, as the authors give us a sneak peek into the dirty tricks departments of the major political parties, the skeletons in their cupboards tumbling at regular intervals. Particularly hilarious are the interviews that new party entrants go through in both parties, where praising THE LEADER is the major criterion to get in. Digvijaya conducts this for the congress. You can guess who for the BJP.

The major punches are actually reserved for media people Rajdeep, Sagarika, Arnab, Sreenivasan Jain, and Sanjay Jha, apart from the Congress coterie of wah-wah sayers, Sibal, Aiyar, Ahmed Patel and a few others. The first family gets it in the solar plexus, and no attempt is made to lighten the blows on Madam. Manmohan Singh only gets one dialogue to utter throughout, and that is "Theek hai." There is a funny game of KBC hosted for the Prime Ministerial candidates, and the so-called Third Front melts under the prospect of a hot face-to-face debate between Modi and Rahul. When asked to display their personality traits suited for PMship, Rahul baba displays his dimples!

There is a final twist, inspired by the film 'V for Vendetta,' where a surprise Avenger turns up to try and right the wrongs of the rulers and save the country. Cracker of a book, and very topical. Until May 16th.

Savings Everyday

We make a mistake in that we count our savings in Rupees, Dollars or Euros. If we rack up all the savings in kind, we would all be zillionaires many times over. Don't believe me? Save our souls, here is a sample worked out-

1. Number of cricket matches, particularly IPL, not watched since the TV was invented..a zillion hours saved.

2. Serials (TV shows) of various in-laws and outlaws made by the famed production houses of Indian television unwatched...two and a half zillion hours saved.

3. Bollywood rehashes of Hollywood, Tollywood, Mollywood, Kollywood and originals (fewer, admittedly than the earlier variety)- unwatched. Three zillion hours in the kitty, because these are usually longer than the TV shows.

4. Arnab Goswami delights (fist-fights with only his fists doing the talking) bypassed- Half a zillion hours.

5. Election speeches, debates, and other moronic material served up as serious fare- are you serious? Million hours, easily.

6. Arguments in life with the boss that remained on the lips, but were never uttered,..countless.

I am guessing, Manmohan Singh must be the biggest 'saviour' of all, by this count.

And what can be done with these 'multiple-zero' hours saved, do you think? I can list a few of my favourite things. I am sure you have yours too. These are multipliers of your savings, not deductions from them.

1. Listen to music.
2. Read a book. I read one about the elections, more on that soon.
3. Talk to a friend, or just forward a PJ on fb.
4. Play golf.
5. Have your favourite drink, in magnificient silence or over a sparkling conversation.
6. Take a beach vacation.
7. Blog...but of course!

100000 Readers!

Pageviews today

193

Pageviews yesterday

384

Pageviews last month

14,064

Pageviews all time history

100,239

Thanks to all the readers of this blog, for the staggering figures on the pageviews. Screenshot above from today. Also, I am quite happy with the global viewership, even if some of it is mistakenly thrown up by servers serving as a link between India and the rest of the world. People in Ukraine certainly need some relief from the turmoil there! As for Europe, how long can you watch football? After a while, like the IPL (cricket), it all starts to look the same!

Audience stats this week-

United States

736

Russia

285

France

151

India

105

Spain

91

Germany

88

Poland

60

United Kingdom

50

China

47

Ukraine

29

Girlfriend in the Closet

This is better than having a skeleton (yuck) in the cupboard. This one at least would be live. And if you are a politician, it may even get you more (or at least some) respect in the eyes of the voting public. The recent flurry of "Even Diggy has a girlfriend, but I don't" kind of digs at a worthy prove my point. That one's now out of the closet, thanks to a do-good hacker it seems.

There are several advantages to having her in the closet, it seems. For one, you pull her out only occasionally. She can't go shopping with you (phew, what a relief) for fear of being un-closeted.You don't have to listen to her talk all the time (PHEW!), and you keep up appearances of being happily married, or single, as the case may be.

Having convinced myself with all the wonderful logic, I am going a-closet-shopping. I only said I disliked the idea of shopping with her, didn't I?

Revolver Rani- Film Review

It has its good moments, but unless you are a fan of the badlands movies with doses of emotion, I would say, avoid.

The good parts first. Kangana gets a good role, and she does a fairly good job of it. Not as good as "Queen" maybe, but good. She is a dacoity poilitician, a sort of Robin Hood in female form, who gets elected, and then loses the next election. She allows herself to fall in love with an opportunist, a wannabe hero, and that leads to her downfall. Her Shakuni-like uncle, the plotter of tall tales and master of electoral shenanigans, also turns against her when she gets pregnant from the hero.

The humour is in very small doses, and not very effective. The pace of the film is patchy, leading to your interest waning and waxing. Vir Das's (he is the hero) expressions are confusing, to say the least. He looks quizzical, and makes you feel the same most of the time.

I would any day prefer to re-watch Quick Gun Murugan, that lovely spoof of curry westerns. Is anyone listening?

Bangalore and Kodaikanal Musings

This time Bangalore was memorable for a meeting with Gowri and Sreeram, students I taught at IMT Nagpur a few years ago. I remember Gowri interviewing me for the student newsletter as I joined IMT. They are now husband and wife, and we had a catching-up session at a nice place - Green Theory? Sreeram is a budding author, and his first book is due soon. Also went to The City Institute with friends - it is a very old club, not an academic institute. Good ambience for a chat and a drink.

Golf is a strange game. It gives you a chance to be a Buddha, meditate while you play. It is also a game for the young and the old ('budhdha' in Hindi). You can get better at it only through hard work, and slip back into mediocrity without much hard work- it's easy. My ex-colleagues from IMT Nagpur, Vijayakumar and Gadgil, were co-conspirators,  who went to Kodaikanal with me. This was a repeat trip after last year. Had  a great time, with some good golfing and some bad. Made a par and a birdie on day 3, and a hole-in-one on the steep uphill 17th on day 4. Celebrated with a beer at the 19th.

Met a few intrepid lady golfers from Poona Golf Club there in Kodai, one of whom battled a leg injury and played! Also met a young lady who works in advertising from Chennai who was on a holiday with her kids. We took the kids around in a golf cart and they were really thrilled.

Stayed at the Sterling valley view in Kodaikanal,

which has a nicer ambience than the lakeside property we had stayed in last year. Pic no. 1 is that view.

The KSRTC bus from Kodai to Bangalore was bang on time, but the flight from Bangalore to Pune was late by a full hour!