Review- When Harry Met Sejal

If you want a tour of Europe, watch Queen or Raj Kapoor's Sangam. If you want a story, watch any film of the 1960s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s. Including the Imtiaz Ali film Jab We Met. But not this.

This made me nostalgic for any of the above-mentioned eras of films. Weird thing was, all the ads shown before the film starred Amitabh. I wished he was in the film, and the film's actors in the ads. Not sure whom to blame, but as the writer and director, Imtiaz Ali should take most of it.

The film's premise is so crappy that one wonders who would make a film on such a stupid idea. It is further compounded by poor dialogue, screenplay and music. Acting is not much to write home about, either, but the script should be faulted for that too.

The Gujju-accented Anushka doesn't actually jell at all, and Shah Rukh looks as though he is sleep-walking; incidentally, I felt the same way in Raees.

Marketing Orientation in Government

Citizens ought to be treated as consumers, and their satisfaction needs to be a prime objective. So what are some ways to achieve this?

Distribution- many government services are available at few places, inaccessible to most people. Chandrababu Naidu's e-Seva changed that to some extent in Andhra Pradesh when it was introduced. Now, at least for people with Online access, a trip to the govt. office should be made redundant. Anything that they need to do should be made available online and delivered home. Even if there is a price premium charged, most people would happily opt for it. Post offices can be used for all address verification, for instance.

Attitude- Even if a citizen lands up in a government office, he is faced with an obstructionist attitude which tells him what he has done wrong. The opposite needs to be the case.

Finally, the onus of proving that the citizen is wrong should be on the government--in other words, like in jurisprudence, you are always right, unless the govt. can prove that you are not.

Service Guarantees - If you don't get that service on time, it should be free.

Repeat customers should be rewarded.

Might help improve satisfaction by miles.

Ragas and their classification

There are zillions of ragas, I am told. But my listing is not the real classical ones. These are totally new, invented by me. To be sung in appropriate tunes..

Work related ragas

   Victim Raga- I am a victim, ..only I seem to work around here.

   Nitwit Raga- My co-workers are nitwits..who hired them, who hired them,...repeat musically

Love Life (Relationship?) Related Ragas

   Rocking Raga-The flowers are dancing, my life is rocking,..

   Full of Doubts Raga- Will she, won't she, will she, won't she..

    Never Again Raga- I will never fall in love again,...I am becoming a monk/a saint..

Old Age Ragas

    Spectacular Raga- Where did I keep the chashma (spectacles)?...

    Beckham Raga- Why doesn't my body bend at the right places?

    Existential Raga- Where am I, Who am I? Who are all these people?

    Dhritarashtra Raga- Yeh kya ho raha hai (Hindi)?

Boss Ragas

    The I Tune- I know everything, I KNOW everything, I know EVERYTHING

Romancing the Train

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i46jlVrrwdQ is the link to a song Gaadi bula rahi hai, from the film Dost. One of the songs I really like, shot on a train and about a train...and life.

Singing in a train is as good as singing in the rain..

Another one or two about romances that had one of the characters in a train, are these-

Jiya o, jiya o jiya kuch bol do..Rafi singing for Dev Anand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_xHTc6AP90

The same idea, later, with Kishore Kumar for Rajesh Khanna singing to Sharmila on the darjeeling mountain railway.

Mere sapnon ki rani kab aayegi tu..I grew up watching this, and it's still a favourite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo1MykK4u8U

Another old gem with Hemant Kumar for Dev Anand singing to Waheeda Rehman.
Hai apna dil to awara na jane kis pe aayega from Solva Saal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K8TH8LBs-w

Joblessness and Other Indexes

Ok, Indices, maybe..I don't know. But the point is, I am coming up with some new ones, like the soap companies do, on a regular basis. Unlike them, I really had to think these through. Why should Sensex have all the fun?

Joblessness Index- Hours spent doing useful things, divided by hours spent on Social Media+Hours spent on Cell talking+Hours spent on Netflixing (this is not a word yet, I invented it..if Googling is an accepted word, this will be too)..for better results, interchange the numerator and denominator, so the number appears large, and you can then make speeches worrying about it.

Economy's Health Index. Doctors' earnings for all doctors divided by Patients' Bank Balance (Amount reduced by paying medical bills) indicates the economy's health- can you argue with this?

Pseudo-intellectuals Index. This is the total number of posts forwarded in a day about anything that sounds intellectual but is not, multiplied by 1000.

Real Intellectuals Index. The number of people who did their homework (or any work) without Copy/Pasting anything.

Smart Bloggers Index. This species does not exist, and therefore this index is not needed.

Day 3 of IIM Indore NASMEI Conference

A pic from the inaugural day, with Phil Zerrillo (left), and Stefan Haves (right), who gave us a brilliant example of how to connect with an audience/customer. Rishikesha Krishnan, director, IIM Indore and I are also in the pic.

The conference concluded yesterday, and a lot of lessons were learnt (yes, we used Digital Marketing to promote it too). Sheer energy and teamwork among many people led to its great success, and invited speakers were eloquent in their praise.

Thanks to the overwhelming response from researchers, we had a problem of plenty. Out of over 400 submissions, we selected around 300 for presentations. Managing so many in multiple tracks in two days was a big challenge. FPM students and Academic Associates chipped in, and media and photography were managed superbly by the able Ananya Mishra.

Hats off to the team of Veenus Tewari and her gang (as I like to call it) of girls and guys..and thanks to all our sponsors who saw it turn into the big event it became. Raji Srinivasan and Manoj Agarwal from NASMEI helped in multiple ways, and I discovered many people who were connected with MBA, a market research company and a former employer of mine, founded by 3 IIMA alumni.

Maybe as a symbolic coincidence, the IIM Bill 2017 was passed by the Lok Sabha (Indian Parliament's lower house) as the conference was on.

Movie Titles

Jewel Thief, Sholay, Gol Maal, Chupke Chupke, Anand, Rajnigandha, Dil Diya Dard Liya, Kati Patang, Mere Jeevan Sathi, Aandhi, Lahu Ke Do Rang, Dulhan Wahi Jo Piya Man Bhaaye, Hum Kisise Kum Nahi, Yaadon ki Baaraat, Around the World, Chalti ka Naam Gaadi, Driver Ramudu (Telugu), Siri Siri Muvva (Telugu), Shankarabharanam (Telugu)..are some titles that I remember from old films.

The new ones (relatively) that I remember are Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Om Shanti Om, Kahani, Queen, Baazigar, Court (Marathi), Natsamraat (Marathi), Mungaru Male (Kannada), Swapnakkudu (Malayalam), Finding Fanny, Queen, ..

Hollywood Films

A Fish Called Wanda, History of the World- Part 1, Ben Hur, Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Diamonds are Forever, Live and Let Die, Silent Movie, The Great Dictator, Modern Times, Where Eagles Dare, The Mask, Good Morning Vietnam, The Pink Panther series, Strangers on a Train, Dial M for Muder, Murder on the Orient Express...

Recent Hollywood Films

I actually haven't watched too many, so maybe I'll skip these..