The Science of Everyday Life-Book Review

Marty Jopson is the author. Apparently British, as he calls a biscuit a biscuit- and not a cookie. One of his most interesting takes is about the difference between a cake and a biscuit- if it turns hard when you leave it out in the open for a day or two, it is a cake; if it turns soggy, it's a biscuit.

Also, he explains  how an induction top works, in language that anybody (I) can understand. Also, the GPS and how its use for locating anyone (through your mobile phone) is based on Einstein's theories.

He's got a lot of stuff about food and drink (my favourite chapters), bathing and why it causes wrinkles if you dip too long in a tub, why teapots/kettles dribble and how you can stop it (applying butter to the spout can do it!).

Other interesting things as to how the ice being less dense than water is responsible for us being alive as a species on earth, and so on. Why we all dream, but only some of us remember them, why all sweat does not smell bad (deo customers will be able to 'defogg' themselves), why paint needs a quickly evaporating substance to be mixed in it- this also has something to do with the shape of coffee stains.

Well, some other interesting things to know- including simple ones such as how a refrigerator works, and why Alternating Current (A.C.) is used in transmitting electricity over long distances-and why Fall colours like Orange and Yellow and Red appear on tree leaves in colder climates like the U.S. Lots of humour in it too. Recommended.

Some Mundane Fantasies

The subjects of my fantasies are as mundane as clean roads, people with civic sense, governments with vision, and so on. The top few-

1. Accountants who say yes, rather than no. I know that's not possible ever, but that's what fantasies are about, right?
2. Enough check-in counters based on the number of flights - is that too much to ask? Simple maths is all that is needed.
3. A government office that believes its job is to serve people, and not obstruct them (and practices it)-refer to point 1 above.
4. Actors (particularly actresses) who can act- Katrina, are you listening?
5. Directors who can direct, editors who actually do some editing- like the above.
6. Students who take an elective course because they are interested in working at it/on it.
7. Speakers who know how to...SPEAK, and not be the same as the objective of a role model drill- a BORE.
8. Journalists with sense, interviewers who keep shut after asking a question.
9. Facebookers who are not always holier-than-thou.
10. A magician who can make Donald Trump vanish from the face of the earth-Mars needs colonizing!

Now tell me, am I asking for too much?

Service- An Experience with KIMS Hospital Hyderabad

As a part of surgery for my mother, I had an experience (as a customer) of the services of KIMS, a hospital in Hyderabad, recently. From the insurance coordination office, to admission, to the patient care, to the rooms, I found it superior to may other hospitals-some of the bigger or more reputed.

In particular, the nurses and their lowly assistants (the ayahs, ward-boys), were very caring and efficient. Most were smiling, which helps a lot when you are under stress as a patient or relative. But also, they were firm in what they had to do, on time, and without fuss. They were also multi-lingual, (speaking in Hindi, Telugu and English), which helps. Service providers have to be, I think.

What I thought was particularly good was that the process for doing anything (admission, discharge, billing, buying medicines) was written down on the walls, and reduced anxiety. Also, there was a lack of the usual confusion that prevails at the receptionin most hospitals-that I think is remarkable. Information flow within the hospital was also good, and the use of I.T. was in evidence.

The ICU staff was also friendly but firm about not disturbing patients too much. As a bonus, the food was good too, for a South Indian at least-fresh and filling. The room for the post-operative stay was well-designed, with enough space for an additional person, and to store belongings. A fridge and microwave was useful, as were the tissue paper and lots of disposable glasses.

Health services are different from other types, because they involve a critical being- a human- at the centre. If the provider can preserve the humanity and remember that it is a care-giving service above all the jargon and the medical procedures, it would serve him well, and the patient too. 

Gasping- A Brilliant Play

Air is about the only thing that's available to us for free. But why shouldn't a corporate sell that too, and make profits out of it?

Gasping, a play by Ben Elton (1990), is a brutal, brilliant satire on a company's quest to do exactly that. The Pot Noodle (a term for making money where none existed before- without any existing product selling less than before, meaning consumers are spending more than before for your product) that they discover is a machine that is called Suck and Blow. It sucks in oxygen from freely available air, and blows it out for paying customers (who have bought the machine) who want Pure Oxygen.Unsurprisingly, the machine is called Suck & Blow!

There are brilliant lines throughout the play, which hit home hard. The marketing and advertising industry (including PR or Public Relations) is a major target, but also the corporates, and the free market economy in general, and its lack of scruples. Sample this (about the PR industry)- " Free lunch is what keeps the mighty cogs of PR turning. Why, without free lunch there would be no more magazines, no more pop records, no more TV programs, no new estate agents, ..without free food London would stop moving, we'd be a Third World country in a month."

Or this (On bosses, by a boss to his junior)- "One of the little perks of being at the top, Philip, is being respected as well as that. Respected by people who really know how to respect.."  Or the line justifying taking over oxygen from natural air and selling it.." Imagine if nature started producing cars, what would happen to the British Motor Car industry?"

The exploitation of the African and other backward countries is also the subject of some Black Humour (pun unintended). So is the takeover of Native (Red) Indian lands by White Settlers in the U.S.

There are some side-shows, such as the sycophancy of corporate types, and a romance between the ad agency girl and one of the executives of the client firm "being groomed" by the originator of the Big Idea (his senior marketing man). There is also an undelying assumption that anything can be sold with the right advertising campaign.

Will leave you gasping for more.

Reforms in Governance

This is wishful thinking in areas of governance that give the common citizen great amounts of irritation, if not angst.

All government services must be home-delivered at the customer's (citizen's) convenience. The government can employ people with minimum levels of education and lots of common sense to do the home-delivery, and charge customers for it if necessary-if the fee already charged is not enough. This can boost employment tremendously-it does not have to be in rural areas/farming. Could be a part of the govt. employment schemes, too.

There must be a fixed time period in which the delivery must happen, if not, the service should be free (or discounted appropriately).

There should be visible penalties (like a transfer to the boondocks) for non-compliance by the government official responsible.

No citizen should stand in a line begging for any favours. Approval of most things can be done online, or not depending on merit. A copy of the request can go to the Lok Pal of the respective jurisdiction, and maintained for a certain period until the window for complaints runs out.

You will see wonders happening, and bureaucrats lose their swagger in no time.

Reforms and Women

Why aren't there more women reformers? We had Manmohan Singh (as Fin Minister) and Narasimha Rao, way back in 1991, and Sreedharan (Konkan Railway and Delhi Metro), Verghese Kurien (Amul), and a few other good men (Sam Pitroda), thrown in. But where are the women?

I say, find more women reformers. They have the natural flair. They are completely immersed in improving their surroundings. They want to perpetually clean their abodes, and things within the abodes. They will go to great lengths to wash clothes, and iron them and loook good in them. Often, this extends to making others around them look better than they otherwise would (children, husbands?).

The trouble arises only when they want to reform their husbands. This is the only animal who is beyond redemption. If they would just concentrate on the community, environment, neighbourhood, the globe, etc., they would do exceedingly well. The parliament could do with some more grace, in general, and they can bring that to it. The GST would get passed in a jiffy. And jewellery, clothes, eating out etc. would be less expensive.

The downside? The (self-and-spiritual improvement) babas of all types may go out of business. The babes would take over.

Book Review- Mr. Majestic by Zac O'Yeah

Yes, the author's name may sound stranger than that of the book. He is a Swede settled in Bangalore. This is his second book I have read, thanks to a friend who gifted it to me. The first was something about Scandinavistan.

A good read, and an original style of writing. This guy, Mr. Majestic, is a small-time crook and a tout in a seedy area of Bangalore (named CD Road, quite appropriately). In fact, like Asterix comics, the names here are quite revealing of the character. So you have Gundajee alias Rhino, a bigger crook, Mensinkai (chilli in Kannada), a medium-level crook with more experience than Majestic, and assorted other crooks with colourful names.

The humour is pervasive, dark at times, sardonic at others. The author abviously likes to explore the underbelly of Bangalore, where forgers, touts and louts have a field day. Some of them, like our hero, indulge in cybercrime too, in collaboration with the Nigerians.

There is also Jagatprasiddha, the demi-god actor who can cause riots just by falling sick, and cows on the road who can stop even him. In fact, the nuances of Indian reality lend authenticity and punch to a narrative that in itself is not a great mystery. There are a few twists to the storyline, nevertheless, and Majestic, named after an old cinema hall, resolves them with panache, just like the Sandalwood (Kannada film industry) heroes.

You will get more out of it if you are familiar with Bangalore, and a bit of Kannada, but even without that, it's an enjoyable autorickshaw ride, pot-holes and all.