My Failures

Inspired by something I saw on Facebook recently, I will try and recount some of my failures.

I failed to nurture some talents that I had, except maybe writing. I may have been good at cricket if I tried, or Badminton, or singing. But I feel happy that I did not subject anyone to my cricket commentating skills. Or TV-serial acting skills. The last one doesn't exist.

I failed to be firm (an infirmity?) when I could have, a few times. Particularly with my bosses. Though I did get into fights with some, and even quit jobs over those fights.

I usually am a failure at judging people-or being judgemental, to be precise. I feel everyone has lots of talent, and it is usually someone's failure to spot it that puts them in a spot. Maybe I am guilty here.

I am a complete failure at taking life seriously for too long. Sooner or later (usually sooner), I start to see the funny side of it. A congenital problem, I would say.

Being an eternal (non-serious) optimist, I fail to see any reason for the negativity that one sees on TIMES NOW or on Social Media. That, you might say, is a BIG one.

Odd Words and Terms

The Indian lexicon is full of words which are popularly used in local conversation in various parts of the country. Some such words-

Howla- this is not a howler in the English sense, but a fool. Howla hai kya? (Are you stupid? ...Loosely) is almost a term of endearment in Hyderabad.

Vela..Velapanti is what a vela does, like Heropanti is what a Hero does. Velagiri or velapanti is another term for idling or doing nothing useful. Maybe close to self-actualisation, in Maslownic terms.

Adda- this is the quintessential Bengali addiction- chatting endlessly over chai or a rosogulla, about anything under the Sun. That usually narrows it down to politics, football, and politics.

Dada. This has different meanings depending on where you are. In Marathi or Bangali, it means big brother. But in the badlands of U.P or Bihar it may translate to one who does dadagiri, as in the local goon.

To, Kya chal raha hai? is a conversation opener in Hindi, cleverly appropriated by Fogg in its current ad campaign. Roughly the equivalent of How Do You Do in English, or What's Up, Dude in Americanese.

Po, da is a Tamil term used often, which I assume translates to Go, yaar..in Hinglish.

Matlab is not the software, but like, any term, like,..used by, like,..anytime by a Hindi-speaker or, like.. Delhiwali or thereabouts.

Pontification

We all (and not just the Pontiff) like to pontificate. We love to hold forth on subjects that we may or may not know much about. "Money makes the world goes around" is a blatantly wrong statement. Pontification does.

Count the number of pontiffs (defined as those who pontificate) around you. Start at the top and work your way down, until you get to the bottom of things. Random guys are fond of giving lectures or expert advice on just about anything, from curing baldness to making (not making out) in India.

Some species rather fond of this are the politicians/ministers, judges (look at irrelevant parts of judgements), lawyers (same with arguments), and the ones we encounter the most in life (no, I didn't say spouses)- the teachers.

Teachers in India like to think they are experts on everything under the sun. You could ask a teacher about how to climb Everest, and without batting an eyelid, he/she will hold forth for an hour or two. Change the question to something about paleontology, and he will do the same, even if he teaches computer programming in real life.

The best I have reserved for the last. The Amazing Cricket Fan. He invariably has the combined wisdom of Sunil Gavaskar, Harsha Bhogle, Ravi Shastri, Srikkanth, Sidhu (Khataaak!), Salim Durrani (he was known for hitting sixers at will before Gayle came along). He can't stop talking, period, when you open the subject of why India didn't make it to the finals of XYZ tournament. In his mind, He is a Champion -in mine, he is a champion, but among pontiffs. The full Ponty, if you will.

If you can't quantify, pontify!

Is More IQ Necessarily Better?

I think we prefer uni-dimensional brilliance out here, to the exclusion of other qualities.

For instance, we want kids to score 99.99 percent in all subjects. It is not Ok to be good in one or two or three of them, and below average in all others.

What good is a person who has a very high intelligence (measured academically in the usual way), but has not learnt to co-exist peacefully with others, or to follow the law, or his conscience, or respect humans (and other forms of life)?

Do we want a cynical, mind-numbingly intelligent being? Wouldn't you rather be/have a guy/gal with just enough intelligence of the kind we adore, but an Emotional Quotient that is reasonably high or higher?

There are other forms of intelligence that don't even get measured. Aptitude for art, sport and so on, that someone may have, gets side-lined in the world of uni-dimensional worship that we are all so used to. Could be one reason why the arts in general are seeing a decline. With respect to one art form that I am familiar with, Hindi films, I can vouch for a decline in many areas-writing, lyrics and music. Humour in written form-books, and mainstream films-both Indian and foreign-also has declined in quality.

Hope we take time out and see if we can set our priorities right.

Fallacies

One of the major fallacies that is going around is that education is going to solve all problems. That needs a lot of qualifying, for it to be true.

Education cannot be just a degree, or a string of degrees.

Good human values like concern for people, environment come before education of the degree-adding variety. Or, should be a part of it. Common sense is as valuable as education.

Education of the wrong kind can actually breed a lot of problematic kids/adults.

Good governance has a lot to do with happiness. A reasonable job opportunity according to skills acquired solves most discontent. The lack thereof 's the reason for most migrations, including the current ones. Education should not end up producing an army of overqualified (mostly on paper) people who have aspirations not matched by skills.

Superman is not going to save the earth.

The Benefits of Mutual Admiration Societies

I have been accused of running a Mutual Admiration Society (MAS) a few times. And I accept my guilt with glee. There are perks associated with it, that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Short of being a celebrity getting letters written in blood, this is the most you can expect. You have an admirer-one per society of this kind. Isn't that great? I think it is.

You can form many MASs. There is no restriction.

All you have to do is find a person you admire, and you have won half the battle. Even if the person concerned does not always admire you, there is always a chance he/she might. So why not? If not, it could well be a one-sided admiration. Makes you feel nice.

If the person you chose admires you, you really have something going. You can then bask in the glory of each other's admiration- to hell with the non-admirers. Admirable, isn't it?

You don't have to be somebody to start an MAS. You could be anybody-an IT coder, for instance. And you can start by admiring anyone- another IT-coding colleague, boss, underling, anyone at all.

My MASs have been with students and colleagues from places I worked in. Some have really caught on. I will not divulge names, but they have all proved to be invariably wonderful. Recommended highly, for the feel-good factor.

Cheers to Mutual Admiration Societies! Start one today.

The Importance of being G

These ruminations are to prove that G is probably the most important letter in the alphabet. Wanna bet?

1. A lot of positivity comes out of words that start with a G- Good to Great.

2. Very commonly used term in Lucknow, U.P. is G Haan. In Delhi, or Punjab, it is turned around to Haan G, but still contains the all important letter.

3. Important dialogues in films start with the word Gaonwalon, like in Sholay. Used by Gabbar (G again) and Dharmendra on the water-tank.

4. Important countries of the world (those whose currency does not depreciate) are called G-10 nations.

5. GDP is a measure of how well you are doing, except in Bhutan, where only happiness is measured. Poor souls.

6. India's answer to James Bond, Mithun, went by the name Gunmaster G-9. Not F-9 or B-9. Even the cult movie on campuses is Gunday, starring him.

7. An often-used gaali (honourable term of address) in Hindi is Gadhey...

8. Ghotala, the Hindi word for scandal, also begins with a G. Where would news channels be without these?

9. Ganga and Godavari, two of our most important rivers, are G rivers.

Above all, two words that drive the spiritual, and the corporate sports-world start with a G-

10. God, and

11. Golf.

I rest my case.