Insuring Body Parts

With the intriguing trend of insuring your body parts catching on, I am sure there would be a race among the well-endowed, in various parts, to earn bragging rights. As in, "My bald patch is worth more than yours" among the wig-wammers (a wig-wam is a Red Indian dwelling I happened to see in Texas), sorry, wig-wearers of celebritydom. Other variants of this would be "My eyelashes are more fetching (in terms of insurance, not aesthetically) than yours", or "My beer belly has a bigger bulge and can earn more terminal benefits if it bursts" etc. And no doubt, insurance companies would go belly-up if all these insured ones were to burst at the same time, as a result of a party that called upon them to fill-up, kingsize, with the king of good times.

What if you could insure egos? Then, the race for the no.1 could easily be decided by the premiums paid, and why not? You can after all, afford to have an ego only when there are people/hangers-on in large enough numbers to feed it, and who but the no.1 celebrity would be so lucky? And insurance companies cannot afford to ignore such hard data while fixing the sum assured, assuredly? So finally, we would come to know who is the real Baadshah (or Begum) of Bollywood- something that we were pining for all these years.

A related thought is that the patents office should start allowing criminal masterminds, terrorists, etc. to patent their pet technologies. Whether it is use of planes to bomb towers, or a simple rock to throw at the security forces, or a bomb in a pressure cooker (or underwear, as one unfortunate guy tried recently), no two terrorist organisers should be allowed to copy each other's methods. And the penalty for violation of the patent? Should be a forced exile on an island which broadcasts only Ekta Kapoor's serials, 24x7.