Thus Spake IIMB-ites

This was the result of a survey (called Catch 22 or Pakad Baees) we did at IIMB among our batch (1982-84) when we were at Bannerghatta. Earlier published in the Year-book. Interesting in many ways even today. Enjoy!

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THUS SPAKE IIMBITES

At IIM, Bangalore, we like English movies more than any other kind. Here, girls expect to live longer than guys. Girls do not smoke, drink...... The smokers exhibit no brand preference when it is a borrowed cigarette. Next to that they prefer Wills Filter (subject to availability at Uncle's). Guys go for girls who have high proficiency in English, can cook well and do not touch drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes (hold it, this is for marital purposes only !). Girls apparently want intelligent Mr. Brains who will be faithful and good at washing dishes. And if they are filthy, stinking rich and tough and good - looking in the bargain, that will certainly help. Despite O.R. and Effective Communication, a large majority of the people felt IIMB was a fantastic experience.

Here are the detailed results:

Movies are ranked in the following order:
English, American, Hindi Arty, Hindi Masala, Regional, Management Movies.

The following are the stars IIMBites adore:

Hindi : Naseeruddin Shah, Rekha
English : Dustin Hoffman / Sharu Rangnekar (Management Movies)
Audrey Hepburn (we still believe in fair ladies)

An average IIMBite expects to live till 68 years 3 months and 11 days. The girls expect to grace this earth until they are 72 years 9 months and 2 days. Guys expect to foul it up until 67 years 8 months and 25 days.

36% of the junta smokes. The following is the brand preference:

1. Borrowed fags (of any brand)
2. Wills Filter
3. Charms
4. Gold Flake
5. Pipe
6. Scissors
7. Charminar (The other brands are not supplied by Uncle)

Following are the spouse specifications on a five-point scale.

Wanted for young, handsome executive, MBA, rich bridegroom, a girl with the following attributes with the following degree of preference:

1. Good height : 2.1
2. Susceptibility' to drinks, drugs, alcohol, fags : 0.7
3. Antipathy to drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes : 4.0
4. Homeliness : 1.5
5. Comeliness : 3.5
6. M. B. A. (IIM / Bajaj / XL) : 0.3
7. Proficiency in English : 4.0
8. Proficiency in Hindi : 2.1
9. Proficiency in Cobolese : 1.0
10. Culinary abilities : 4.8
11. Intelligence : 3.5
12. Imbecility : 1.0

Wanted for young, beautiful, angelic, voluble MBA girl, a bridegroom with the following attributes with the following degree of preference:

Good height : 4.1
Looks : 3.2
Susceptibility to drinks, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes : 0.5
Faithful : 4.9
IIM degree : 1.5
Expertise in washing dishes : 3.8
Intelligence : 4.5
Pecuniary Position : 3.2

For 46% of the populace IIMB was a fantastic, out-of-the-world, mind-blowing experience, 22% found it nothing to write home about, 30% adopt a tolerant attitude, grin-and-bear-it. Only 2% were positive that Dante's 'inferno' was nothing compared to what they went through here.

Now for the outstanding personalities.

Man of the Batch : V. K. Ravi (Self-vote made the difference)

Girl of the Batch : Kusum Lata Ailawadi

Person of the Batch : C. N. Pradeep (statistics can be fun!)

Non-Person of the Batch :

This coveted award goes to Mr. Srikant Joshi who was here for exactly two days, ran up a mess bill for a month and split to the U.S. for his M. S. He was even prevented from writing an exam for non-payment of a bill as per a circular signed by the PGP Coordinator. Our choice is further validated by the fact that nobody voted for him. A real non-person, what?