Diary of a DJ

Previously (a couple of decades ago), you would have been puzzled if someone asked if you wanted a DJ. What's that, you might have asked back. Not any more. This is now a necessity, and not a luxury. The DJ, like God, is omnipresent. Be it a kid's birthday party, a wedding, or a festival, or just an ego-boosting Page 3 event, there is a DJ to be found on the premises. It's as if people have forgotten how to play their own music.

Anyway, this is how a DJ's diary may look like, possibly.

Played this lovely medley with the 'bombat' trio of Sheila, Munni and Jalebi (her moves were as convoluted as the sweet), which kept everyone looking like a mover and Shekhar. Followed this up with a "Ooh la, la", a glorious number immortalised by Bappida's melodious crooning.

Capped it with a rumbunctious number from the sangam (holy trinity) of three jats- yeah, 'Yamla, Pagla Deewana' is what I mean. After this, the pace slackened just a bit with reminiscences of the Bachhans and the bahu dancing away to Kajra Re, and taking the crowd along on a 'Babli' joyride. The men were high with their swigs of brown liquid by now, and did not care what music played, as long as they could get up and swing away, and prod their reluctant friends to do the same.

I was paid to promote the newest song called Bipasha (yes, not just perfumes and lingerie, you can now have songs with your name on them), which I did, dutifully. Must remember to hike the rates for this promotion business, next time. Looks like a good deal.

Speaking of which, this is a great deal. The coolest job in the world. Hope these guys don't catch on- my customers, I mean. That they could easily do it themselves. Anyway, let me chill while I can. Jai ho!