I have noticed a new disease afflicting millions of people. It started in the developed world (whatever that may mean), and is threatening to envelope the under-developed world (whatever THAT may mean) in a tight embrace. It is called Braggitis, and it can be transmitted through the air, water, earth, or any known method of transmitting these things. Hot air is generally found in the vicinity of the Bragger- one who suffers from Braggitis, I mean.
Here is how it works. Say, a human in close proximity to you says,
You know, the other day, I was admitted into Escorts (name of a hospital, in case you get wrong ideas) for a colonoscopy after an endoscopy."
Your likely response when you are a victim of Braggitis,
" Oh, that is nothing. I am continuously being injected with 3 vials a day for acute rhinitis, right now."
Response to this might border on the ludicrous, for example,
"Oh, I didn't know a rhino bit you. You just came from Kaziranga?"
But even if the other person is sober, he may still be a victim himself, of the same affliction as you. In which case, he would say,
" Why, in my family, no one has crossed fifty without getting at least a bypass done."
Response, " My wife is having an IVF done from Dr. Shah, the famous specialist at Apollo."
The counter attack, " My uncle in Kolkata went to Escorts (these infernal escorts are everywhere-can't be shaken off) for an angio (a fashionable shortened form for angiography or angioplasty) , you know, and they told him he had to get three stents in right away, or else he wouldn't be around for his daughter's wedding."
And so on. You get the point? Bragging rights are now based on which brand of hospital, which great doctor, you went to, and maybe how many tubes were inserted into your nose.
I only wish I had lymphosarcoma of the intestines, like Rajesh Khanna did in Anand. Looks hard to beat, no?
Here is how it works. Say, a human in close proximity to you says,
You know, the other day, I was admitted into Escorts (name of a hospital, in case you get wrong ideas) for a colonoscopy after an endoscopy."
Your likely response when you are a victim of Braggitis,
" Oh, that is nothing. I am continuously being injected with 3 vials a day for acute rhinitis, right now."
Response to this might border on the ludicrous, for example,
"Oh, I didn't know a rhino bit you. You just came from Kaziranga?"
But even if the other person is sober, he may still be a victim himself, of the same affliction as you. In which case, he would say,
" Why, in my family, no one has crossed fifty without getting at least a bypass done."
Response, " My wife is having an IVF done from Dr. Shah, the famous specialist at Apollo."
The counter attack, " My uncle in Kolkata went to Escorts (these infernal escorts are everywhere-can't be shaken off) for an angio (a fashionable shortened form for angiography or angioplasty) , you know, and they told him he had to get three stents in right away, or else he wouldn't be around for his daughter's wedding."
And so on. You get the point? Bragging rights are now based on which brand of hospital, which great doctor, you went to, and maybe how many tubes were inserted into your nose.
I only wish I had lymphosarcoma of the intestines, like Rajesh Khanna did in Anand. Looks hard to beat, no?
2 comments:
Now all you need is a branded Priest to do the last rites - I mean even Death is a Living for some
Deadly idea, sirji.
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