Matrimonial Ad for Self

Once bitten always shy. There were times when one would have written a matrimonial ad for self with all the wrong characteristics- beautiful, smart, earning a six-figure salary, not to forget decent  background, and so on- and got bitten. But no more.  If one were to put an ad out today, it would read as follows-

Good cook, with an even better attitude- as in willing to cook and feed a (potential) family of four, day in and day out.  Work tirelessly to clean the surroundings, care for inmates and guests, expected or otherwise, asking for nothing in return, except occasional outings or small tokens of gratitude. Must be adept at juggling tasks, giving back or limb massages on demand, smile at me when I return from work. Willing to make tea/coffee  every few hours, at least five times in a day.

 Watching serials at home is acceptable, provided there is no attempt to imitate the villainish women appearing in them. Should be willing to attend PTA meetings of (future) children. Appointing maids and supervising their work is an important and necessary qualification. Should not expect husband (me) to conjure up handymen such as plumbers at short notice.

Important: Should not be fond of gold, silk sarees or silk anything expensive, except maybe  chocolates.