Of Godliness and 100% Attendance

This is to celebrate the golden jubilee (50,000 views) of this blog. A classic dug up from my archives. Will strike a chord with students and ex-students, I am sure.

Of Godliness and Compulsory 100% Attendance

Note: This was written during my days as a student at IIM Bangalore, where we were briefly subjected to the rule.

Thought-provoking articles are always a success. Because the reader likes to be provoked- or it could be because he likes to think that he can ‘think’- there’s no other way his ‘thoughts’ could be provoked. Anyway, proceeding with the above assumption, when the compulsions to write became unavoidable, I turned my attention to the issue of compulsory one hundred percent attendance. The more I thought about the subject, the more it provoked me. In fact, half-way through my ‘thinking’ trip, I suddenly realized the rationale behind the 100% attendance rule.

There are people who look upon the rule as an infringement of their Right to Skip Classes-as enshrined in the Students’ Constitution. But think deeply (how deep you go is left to you and your aptitude for delving) and you immediately discover the fallacy inherent in the above presumption. The rule cannot be an infringement of the said constitution, simply because it is above all such mundane matters. In fact, it is a sincere attempt by the concerned authorities to elevate ‘the cream of Indian student community’ to greater heights- to godliness, to be precise.

Because, who can be so naïve as to imagine that an ordinary average mortal can attend all classes on all working days all round the year? The common reaction is, “It’s humanly impossible.” But alas, hardly anyone takes the logic a step further and says “It’s ‘Godly’ possible.” Actually, the whole exercise is aimed at bringing Man (the species so abundant in the deep woods of Bannerghatta) closer to God. And the move to bridge the gulf between Man (the student in this case) and God has paid off. This was confirmed recently when one of the professors saw an assignment submitted by a student and exclaimed, “Oh, God!” He was closer to the truth (and the student, closer to God) than he had imagined.

Some skeptics claim that the rule breeds corrupt practices like proxy signatures for absentees by their ‘attentive’ brethren on the sheet circulated by professors in class. But this argument does not hold water. Why? Because these playful pranks are eventually brought to light thanks to a vigilant MIS (management information system). The guilty, who then repent (often in writing) and seek forgiveness are purged of their sins and are thus drawn closer to the almighty- in the process, learning one more important fact of life; that CRIME DOES NOT PAY. This learning is actually redundant for those of the ‘semi-gods’ that see Hindi films.

For the ignoramus who still attributes unholy motives to the rule without realizing the noble intentions of the appropriate authorities, a prescribed dose of some slogans like these should be administered-

‘Shortest way to Salvation-Attend Classes’

‘Optimal Path to Heaven- Attend O.R.’

‘For Eternal Bliss in the After-life- 100% Attendance,’ or a challenging one like the following-

‘Loneliness in room, or Godliness in Class? The Choice is Yours.'

These and other such slogans (similarly ingenious) are expected to market the concept effectively.

Even if the campaign does not immediately generate enough enthusiasm in habitual shirkers to get them to occupy front rows in class, no matter. Given long enough to operate it will instill a sense of responsibility among the students, which is a task well-begun, and hence half-done.

Thus unknowingly but definitely, the student community goes on in its quest for godliness. Even as the attendance rule continues to bug many, some adopt, philosophically, the policy of ‘grin and bear it’; yet others take recourse to verse and express themselves thus- ‘Ours not to reason why. Ours but to attend and SIGH.’