These days, there are companies which only do verification of resumes, or parts of it. There are fake degrees, fake work experience claims, and fake Ids. So I decided to create a fake CV for myself, with which I will apply for various jobs. But I will only join an employer who trusts me- and will not check my CV out.
Here it is-
An energetic 35 year old is looking for a job at your company. These are his (my) plus points.
Education: Too much. More than you can use- degrees like MBA, BE, CA, CFA, etc.
A temperament that goes beyond the call of duty, to doing household work for the boss- no exclusions. Will be happy to drive his car, buy groceries for him or spouse, drop his kids to school, and book his vacation tickets. Serving coffee to him in office excluded- a matter of principle.
Worked at a multitude of top MNCs in my 15 years of work life. Challenging assignments handled included a role as country head, regional head, branch head and COO, CMO, CTO, CIO, and a few more, which were highly classified roles that cannot be spoken about in a document that will be available to Google and the CIA, not to mention Wikileaks, and other leaks.
My bosses were so happy with my work, that not one of them gave me a reference letter, for fear of losing me. But I secretly recorded them praising my work, and those recordings are available for private screening. Sorry, cannot be uploaded on Youtube. I am an intensely private person. No facebooking at work, or outside work.
I also have auxiliary skills like fast uploading of information on the computer, fast retrieval of any data from any company's database- did you say hacking? Never heard of the word in my life.
You can decide on where I fit in, and my designation. But my pay has to be six figures, monthly- no, make that seven, what with the rupee sliding every day.
See you soon.
Here it is-
An energetic 35 year old is looking for a job at your company. These are his (my) plus points.
Education: Too much. More than you can use- degrees like MBA, BE, CA, CFA, etc.
A temperament that goes beyond the call of duty, to doing household work for the boss- no exclusions. Will be happy to drive his car, buy groceries for him or spouse, drop his kids to school, and book his vacation tickets. Serving coffee to him in office excluded- a matter of principle.
Worked at a multitude of top MNCs in my 15 years of work life. Challenging assignments handled included a role as country head, regional head, branch head and COO, CMO, CTO, CIO, and a few more, which were highly classified roles that cannot be spoken about in a document that will be available to Google and the CIA, not to mention Wikileaks, and other leaks.
My bosses were so happy with my work, that not one of them gave me a reference letter, for fear of losing me. But I secretly recorded them praising my work, and those recordings are available for private screening. Sorry, cannot be uploaded on Youtube. I am an intensely private person. No facebooking at work, or outside work.
I also have auxiliary skills like fast uploading of information on the computer, fast retrieval of any data from any company's database- did you say hacking? Never heard of the word in my life.
You can decide on where I fit in, and my designation. But my pay has to be six figures, monthly- no, make that seven, what with the rupee sliding every day.
See you soon.
2 comments:
Too good:)
Thanks. Does that mean I get the job?
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