Corny Love Songs

Jaagi badan mein jwaala, from a movie called Izzat made in 1968. It is an item number, in the tradition of  Hindi films of that vintage- extras in village belle costumes gyrating to charming, old-world dance steps, heaving bosons (sorry, bosoms), et. al. But the surprise part is the lead dancer or in today's lingo- 'item' girl. None other than Jayalalitha. Yes, the same. Search for this song on youtube if you don't believe me. I happened to discover it while listening to Ameen Sayani's Binaca Geet Mala ki chhaon mein.

Corny songs of love abound in Bollywood, and sixties and seventies had a huge number of decent ones where the heroes and heroines were-well, running around the trees, singing songs. We used to joke that the music director is hiding in the bushes to provide music to the couple.

Some good ones I remember lovingly from that era are-

Bekhudi mein sanam uth gaye jo kadam...

Yeh dil diwana hai, dil to diwana hai, diwana dil hai yeh, dil diwana..

Yeh raaten yeh mausam nadi ka kinara yeh chanchal hawa

Yeh duniyawale poochenge, mulaqat hui kya baat hui,

O Nigaahen mastana, dekh samaa hai suhaana..

Main sitaron ka tarana main baharon ka phasaana leke ek angdai hum pe dal nazar ban ja diwana

Haal kaisa hai janab ka

Are yaar meri tum bhi ho ghazab..

Likha hai teri aankhon mein kiska afsaana..

Achcha to hum chalte hain..

Yeh reshmi zulfein, yeh sharbati aankhen, inhe dekh kar

Karwatein badalte rahein saari raat hum..aapki kasam..

Hum dono do premee duniya chhod chalein..

Almost all songs of Julie and Jawani Diwani.

Kasme Vade nibhayenge hum..

Tumne kisi se kabhi pyaar kiya hai..

Kya khoob lagti ho, badi sundar dikhti ho..

Neele parbaton ki dhaara aayi dhoondhne kinara badi door se..

Hamaare siwa tumhare aur kitne diwane hain (Apradh, Feroz Khan)

O mere Raja

Gulabi aankhen jo teri dekhi sharabi yeh dil ho gaya

Hey, Maine kasam li, hey, tune kasam li..nahin honge juda hum..

Chudi nahin yeh mera dil hai..

Shokhiyon mein ghola jaaye.

Tum aagaye ho, noor aa gaya hai..


Another genre of songs I want to explore is the 'piano' songs. So many had the hero strumming the piano keys (or banging them)..to comic or tragic effect ( at least for the piano)..some other time.

An Angular View

Everyone looks good at a particular angle, if you have looked at yourself in the mirror (I am not asking how often, by the way-I am focussed on the topic of discussion). Your best angle might be from the left top, or the right front, or centre, below. Film stars know this too well, and try not to let the unflattering angles intrude on their popularity. A pretty face can turn ugly when viewed from the wrong angle, as anyone stealing glances at one would know. Some stars even flaunt their curves, as I remember one particular lady did, as in ....don't lie (in this case, the angle was, shall we say, different?). Guru Dutt and his ilk had great camera angles and lighting, to keep their filmi characters looking surreal.

Anyway, what I am trying to prove is that angles are very important. Journalists are always on the lookout for the right angle (acute or obtuse) on a story, or a twist, so to speak. So are writers/authors, of books or plays or short stories and screenplays. Mystery writers from Agatha Christie to Rex Stout thrive on creating that new angle so that the reader is kept guessing whodunit till the last couple of pages. It keeps the little grey cells of the reader engaged.

Some new angles are sorely needed to break the monotony of life. So put on your thinking caps, and look into the camera...at the right angle, of course.

Braggitis

I have noticed a new disease afflicting millions of people. It started in the developed world (whatever that may mean), and is threatening to envelope the under-developed world (whatever THAT may mean) in a tight embrace. It is called Braggitis, and it can be transmitted through the air, water, earth, or any known method of transmitting these things. Hot air is generally found in the vicinity of the Bragger- one who suffers from Braggitis, I mean.

Here is how it works. Say, a human in close proximity to you says,

You know, the other day, I was admitted into Escorts (name of a hospital, in case you get wrong ideas) for a colonoscopy after an endoscopy."

Your likely response when you are a victim of Braggitis,

" Oh, that is nothing. I am continuously being injected with 3 vials a day for acute rhinitis, right now."

Response to this might border on the ludicrous, for example,

"Oh, I didn't know a rhino bit you. You just came from Kaziranga?"

But even if the other person is sober, he may still be a victim himself, of the same affliction as you. In which case, he would say,

" Why, in my family, no one has crossed fifty without getting at least a bypass done."

Response, " My wife is having an IVF done from Dr. Shah, the famous specialist at Apollo."

The counter attack, " My uncle in Kolkata went to Escorts (these infernal escorts are everywhere-can't be shaken off) for an angio (a fashionable shortened form for angiography or angioplasty) , you know, and they told him he had to get three stents in right away, or else he wouldn't be around for his daughter's wedding."

And so on. You get the point? Bragging rights are now based on which brand of hospital, which great doctor, you went to, and maybe how many tubes were inserted into your nose.

I only wish I had lymphosarcoma of the intestines, like Rajesh Khanna did in Anand. Looks hard to beat, no?

Questions, Questions

If you sit in a mall and mull over something, are you mulling or malling? Extension: If you wear a mulmul ka kurta while doing so, what happens?

Why does a dentist not repair dents?

Why does a carpenter not paint cars?

Why is a hood not required in a brotherhood?

When your relationship runs out of spice, can it be a case of Humdum (Hindi/Urdu) turning humdrum?

Why would a wife want the same husband for the next few lives? (logically, at most one life should suffice)

Who pops the question in a gay marriage?

Is Goli wada pav a 'deadly' brand name?

If someone falls over his shopping cart, is he Flipkarting?

If an idle mind is the Devil's workshop, where are the products from a zillion years of idle men?

An idle mind produces some blogs, too.

Sing-song Comedians

Singing songs is the preserve of heroes, heroines, and vamps (an endangered species today) - right? Wrong. The comedians do it too. And some have had superhit songs to their credit.

Deven Varma sang Mummy o Mummy, Tu kab saas banegi? in one of his memorable roles.

Johny Walker sang several, including Jangal mein mor naacha kisi ne na dekha, and Sar jo tera chakraye, ya dil dooba jaye.

I recently discovered a song sung by Rajendranath, which goes, Aye haseeno, tumne sadiyon, aashiq ko tadpaaya, .....Meri lottery lag jaane waali hai.

Mehmood sang in Gumnaam, Hum kaale hain to kya hua dilwaale hain, and it became a raging hit. He also sang with Kishore Kumar in Padosan, one of the all-time hits, Ek chatur naar, badi hoshiyaar...

Mehmood also did a Charlie Chaplin act in a movie called Aulad starring Jeetendra and sang a fun song, Jodi hammari, bane na kaise jaani, hum to hain angrezi, tum ladki hindustani, with Aruna Irani. I loved it when I first saw it in the early seventies.

Other instances of non-comic character artistes singing are also known. For example, dad Bharat Bhushan singing the best song in Pyar Ka Mausam - the Kishore Kumar version of Tum bin jaoon kahan. Shashi Kapoor later sings the Mohd. Rafi version, which is not a patch on the first.

Bonding with India-Vishwaroop

James Bond with all his singularities, has made a home for himself in this former colony. But he had to be white, had to sleep with countless women, and pull one-liners, drink shaken stuff, and introduce himself as Bond, James Bond (which I try sometimes). He was my favourite while growing up, though I don't watch the modern ones any more.

Not any more. He can now be a guy full of RAW energy from India, have a single wife who is cheating on him, be a dance teacher by day, and drink nothing alcoholic in sight of the camera. Kamalhaasan brings so many new dimensions into the role, that it is worth a dekko. I liked Shekhar Kapoor second best- dunno why he vanished after one or two roles ages ago. He is such a fine actor, with looks that one can only envy.

Anyway, there is some Afghanistan (nicely shot, like Feroz Khan did in Dharmatma), some New York (with NYPD cops bumbling initially), and a lot of action. It mostly keeps you interested, though a sequence or two are dragged a bit long. The first stunt is stunning, where he escapes from 10-15 goons of the terrorist outfit.

The idea of a desi Bond has been tried earlier, with Jeetendra and Mithun in particular, but this is classy stuff- a class apart. Though the Mithun and Jeetu ones were entertaining too, with some songs, and comedy.

Of Flights and Other Diversions

This one if you have not guessed it already, is about diversionary tactics as applied to flights. I was sitting in an Indigo flight with some colleagues, headed from Nagpur to Delhi. We got a wee bit apprehensive when the pilot announced at take-off that there was dense fog in Delhi. After hovering around about 50 minutes above the dense fog, good sense prevailed. You don't burn fuel if you park yourself somewhere. Fortunately, we did not indulge in the car version of fuel-saving, switching the ignition off. We just landed in Jaipur, with a grand view of the unfogged landscape there.

Fortunately, some colleagues had bought Orange barfi at Nagpur, so we had something to chew on while we awaited communication from our masters at the ATC. The mood was one of a picnic, barring a few people who were either missing connecting flights or were being cursed by bosses. Eventually, the air was cleared over Delhi, but not before the lovely air hostesses had been harassed by hungry passengers into selling their entire stock of edibles (loosely used here) and then parted with limited amounts of complimentary snacks (why limited, no idea). Anyway, they handled the situation quite well.

The saga taught us that just like trains, if you are headed into foggy places, plan for a wasted day in and around the fog times. Delhi retains the title of Fog Capital of India.

A line from an old movie came to mind...Bambai se gai Dilli, Dilli se gayi Patna , phir bhi na mila sajna..