I am all for building skills (This is not a serious post on the subject, in case you are wondering). So the only question is, which skills do we need for survival in today's rough-and-tumble world?
No. 1 would be the Selfie-taking skill
You don't exist unless you are on some social media. Your existence (in peoples'minds) is correlated with the number of selfies you post, preferably with a pout. If you post other pics, ten of them count as equal to one selfie. Get it? There are now phones with two cammeras on each side, so you have no excuses.
No. 2 would be Linguistic Skill.
Yo, bro. Have you met your bae recently? No go? etc...it's called being in tune with the times, and not besura.
No. 3 would be the Ability to Forward
We are not talking Hockey or Football here. Whether it's WhatsApp, facebook, or Insta, you are a nobody unless you can hit the forward button a few times in a day (or night, if you prefer). Again, it is mainly to let your friends know you are alive, and not watching GoT 24x7 when you actually are.
No. 4 would be your Ability to make a Mountain out of a Molehill
Ok, I will simplify this. Say, u are at a mall and getting bored. You have to only Check in, as if in a plane, or attach an unrelated GIF, or anything that sounds like fun, and post it online. It creates the impression that you are a fun guy/gal with no worries in the world.
Ditto for airports (the most boring places on earth?), bad movies (Yayy, I am watching the latest MSG film-what a handsome hunk!)..
No. 5 is your Ability to Craft a Consistent Image
Out of all this, you must be consistent. If it means you ahve to come across as being crazy (or permanently pouted), so be it. If it is to be a supersonic traveller (here today, on the moon tomorrow, again..so be it)
Finally, you need some sense of humour, to appreciate the above, Mr/Ms. reader..
No. 1 would be the Selfie-taking skill
You don't exist unless you are on some social media. Your existence (in peoples'minds) is correlated with the number of selfies you post, preferably with a pout. If you post other pics, ten of them count as equal to one selfie. Get it? There are now phones with two cammeras on each side, so you have no excuses.
No. 2 would be Linguistic Skill.
Yo, bro. Have you met your bae recently? No go? etc...it's called being in tune with the times, and not besura.
No. 3 would be the Ability to Forward
We are not talking Hockey or Football here. Whether it's WhatsApp, facebook, or Insta, you are a nobody unless you can hit the forward button a few times in a day (or night, if you prefer). Again, it is mainly to let your friends know you are alive, and not watching GoT 24x7 when you actually are.
No. 4 would be your Ability to make a Mountain out of a Molehill
Ok, I will simplify this. Say, u are at a mall and getting bored. You have to only Check in, as if in a plane, or attach an unrelated GIF, or anything that sounds like fun, and post it online. It creates the impression that you are a fun guy/gal with no worries in the world.
Ditto for airports (the most boring places on earth?), bad movies (Yayy, I am watching the latest MSG film-what a handsome hunk!)..
No. 5 is your Ability to Craft a Consistent Image
Out of all this, you must be consistent. If it means you ahve to come across as being crazy (or permanently pouted), so be it. If it is to be a supersonic traveller (here today, on the moon tomorrow, again..so be it)
Finally, you need some sense of humour, to appreciate the above, Mr/Ms. reader..
2 comments:
Skill development yojana needs to take serious note of this post. This is serous stuff and concerns life saving skills like selfies and forwards etc. I am sure an institute offering these skills will fare extremely well - there are none on the horizon. I am inspired now to write the manifesto for such an institute (hopefully mine) for my next column.
I can see that you have the skills needed to make millions through your scam-I mean scheme.
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