Kidding Around

 Kids of various ages- 8 months to 10 years. Fun, though exhausting.

 Trying to be Japanese

Malling it.

Made in America by Bill Bryson

Bryson has been a favourite (British spelling- my salaam to the CROWN) since I first read his non-travelogue exposition of all the science in our world's history. But his travelogues are good too. This one is a mix of sorts, that traces the history of everything American- mostly meaning the U.S.

For instance, he tells us that lots of food stuff that's known as Italian was actually invented in the U.S.- spaghetti with meat balls, fettucini something or the other....and so on. So were lots of phrases, including (gasp) Keep a stiff upper lip, phoney, baloney, and lots of others. Thanks to the Perry Mason stories, I am familiar with many of these.

He also traces the history of the modern retail stores, and of malls. The original idea of a mall was a comfortable place to hang out in, like European streets. Shopping was secondary. I still practice that, but I am in a minority. Mall owners have removed, as Bryson astutely observes, most benches or made them backless, to prevent hanging around.

There are chapters about movies, education and its state in the States, immigration and its role in U.S. prosperity, and inventions like the first plane ride in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina- which I have visited once. All in all, a good ride.

Unusual Business Ideas

In India, we are different. We walk different, we talk different, we spit (yuck) different.

Thus, there is a case for different business ideas.

1. Acid factory for acid-throwers. This is not a game. Serious maiming of face happens in cases of spurned love, or just for settling old enmity. Brisk sales guaranteed.

2. Betting syndicates for any event. Not restricted to games, or racing. What time the boss will come to office, could be bet on. Bosses that defy Murphy's laws (If you are late, he will be early, and vice versa) . Or, there could be bets on who will have a wardrobe malfunction in the next celebrity gathering/award function, etc.

3. Mall development. We believe malls are necessary for improving the GDP, which is not really improving, by the way. But we must keep trying. Never give up. Even if nobody shops in them. Empty ones can always run a B school. Or a nursing college.

4. School for Mobile phone calling etiquette. The students will have only one course to pass- How not to Annoy the Receiver of Calls. If they can learn this one thing, your job is done. But who would enroll? A question to Ponder.

5. Media anchoring school. This will have high decibel shouting matches in class, with no one able to hear the other. Direct placement offers from Times Now will follow- not now, later.

Malling in Delhi

Malling in Delhi versus malling in Bangalore - Space is at a premium in Bangalore. Not so much in Delhi.

Malling in Saket- Select Citywalk- is reasonably comfortable, though the book collection in bookstores is not too inspiring.

Most foreign brands of everything you always wanted to buy- perfumes, garments, are available at a mall near you, if you are in Delhi. So now, how do the Singaporeans (or Dubaians) reposition themselves. I can go to a Delhi mall without spending the airfare to Singapore or Dubai. Ok, maybe I can still get a good deal on a 43 inch LED TV there!

Malling in Gurgaon versus malling in Delhi. It's a capital against a provincial town. But Gurgaon is the pioneer in malling.

Obviously, all these observations are born out of a recent trip to the Saket mall. One interesting thing I saw there was a simulated golf range where you can hit a ball into a screen which calculates/simulates the flight path of the ball and so on, for a fee of course! 150 bucks for 15 minutes. I did not try it.

Rebirth of a Mall

There is this SGS mall in Pune which is one of my favourites. Not because of the clothes it sells at exorbitant prices like most malls, but because it has a Landmark, and I usually go to malls only for their bookshops.And occasionally for movies, or food while hanging around for the movie to start.

This mall closed down for a while because- can you believe it?- they did not pay some municipal taxes. Don't know if it was a retrospective tax as per current fashion (who says the taxing guys are unfashionable?). But the upshot of all that was the closure of this mall. But everything is hunky dory now, as I confirmed yesterday by going there and hanging around. A mall is a good place to hang around, except this one has tuneless songs playing and an announcer who thinks he is Amen Sayani of the golden radio voice fame, but is more like Cacophonix.

Anyway, all's well that malls well, or gells well! Hell's bells. Truth will tell. Gear up and sell!
Amen!