Research Shows - 1

I spent much of my professional life teaching or practicing Market Research. 

So this is my new series regarding real-life research into friends, colleagues, other humans, countries, or things. 

Research shows that-

Politicians never change. We can stop expecting them to do so. They have an election to win, which they are not sure of winning. If they win, they need to recoup their expenses. Simple Maths. 

Parents are predictable. The major drivers for a parent are seeing their kids do well, and they are not reasonable. Blinded by love for kids, they will go to any extent possible to help them succeed.

Kids are also predictable, mostly. They rebel, at some point, for a long time. That goes on until they go through the same phase that the parents have. Eventually, life teaches everyone a lesson. We think we are different, but we are not all that different.

 

Most Difficult Thing in Life

 According to me, it's letting go.

Try throwing away half the stuff you own, which some 'experts' keep recommending. Difficult? Yes, very.

Look at corporates/entrepreneurs who never retire. Or politicians, who hang on despite clearly being irrelevant, incapable, etc. I am not excluding anyone, just giving obvious examples to prove a point. It could be cricketers, or academicians too.

I have seen a couple of people incapable of even walking, and who were almost brain-dead according to me, travel great distances, just so they could feel they were doing something useful. That they travelled is great, but the fact is they did not have any value to add to those professional discussions. 

Some people start out by doing something good, and lose that capability. In their minds though, they cling on the past. Because letting go is tough. We also see that in personal life, where parents want to cling on to their kids, husbands are possessive about wives, and so on. 

I don't think it's easy, but it could be beneficial. Try and let go.

Naming a Child

 This is the biggest decision facing parents to be. I will outline the problem.

The name has to have a bit of both parents' names. Otherwise, you wouldn't know that they were equal contributors in this production. So a complicated set of combos appears on the menu, with many possible permutations and combinations.

It cannot be just any name, can it? Has to be special. He or she could be a game-changer, so you have to be a name-finder!

It can't also be too complicated for a foreign tongue to pronounce, coz he/she might just land up being a Venezuelan (Ok, Canadian is more likely) citizen. And woe betide, if they mangle the name, it might leave scars on the not-so-young impressionable mind!

Therefore, you see, it's a nimble act like those tight-rope walkers who are almost extinct now. They live on as parents to be, before they have named a child they will bring into this universe.

Digitizing Slides Part 2

 Some more slides which I recently got converted into digital photographs. Removes the need for a slide projector, though that is an experience in itself. Some of these digitized pics- 

The flyers- we actually took a joy ride in this Cessna (above). 

Below, the guys who flew first at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina- Wright brothers.

Picnic at a Clemson Park.

A real Golf Club where I learnt most of my Golf from Sadanand, and below, my Dad trying out Putt-putt Golf in the U.S.

Niagara, with parents (above) and Sravanabelagola (below) with friends from Harihar

On the Harihar Golf course, and below, Kirloskar Institute, at Harihar where I spent 7 years. (1995-2001)

Kids I Used to Know

 One of the benefits of getting old (I am not old-just getting there slowly) is to look at the dramatic changes in how many of the kids you know (including your own, if any) look after a decade or more.

So many kids I can remember, among them my cousins' kids from India and abroad, and some who migrated abroad from India. We don't meet as often, but pics are good enough to figure out.

Another age group is my students in their early twenties who are now young parents in many cases, with their own cute kids. There are hundreds in this category, and I have met a few of their kids too. Some I have only seen on facebook, but it gives you a great feeling to know someone for so long, more than a generation. 

An Indian parent used to have only two wishes in the earlier generation- to see their kids "settled" (meaning married) and then, to see them have kids. I don't insist on any of these, maybe because I feel like a grandpa by proxy to all these kids!

Not to forget, kids make some of the best models, so you can also indulge your passion for this hobby, with your camera.

Digging Into The Past Through Photographs

Photograph is more 'graphic' than pic, because it actually shows you a graph of your journey through life. Particularly when you are going through a lockdown like the present Covid-19 -20 one, you have some time to look back at the life you lived.

I have been enjoying this part of the lockdown- looking back at life through photos or pics. It helped that my parents were photography buffs, because that means I have a lot to look back on. Here are a few nuggets..

 With grandmom. (above)
SSB Selections which I failed.. no. 12 (below)

 With parents who were visiting the US. (above), and nieces, ditto, with their parents.

 My first day in the U.S, June 1986, with my brother.
My first day in a Gondola, Venice, 1987.

 Fooling around at a European beach, with sand covering.
My colleagues in ad agency New Horizons, CP, Delhi. (below)

 My sister, wife, and friends, Hyderabad terrace.
Deep dive, Bahamas

 Discussions with Dr. Gopi and Prof. Chary, KIAMS.

 Friends from engineering on a road trip. Srisailam.
Friends from IIM Bangalore, at a reunion.

 IIMB friends more recently, Bangalore.
My only stint in a play -Waiting For Lefty, IIMB.

 Taking a swing. (above)
Launching Marketing research, Edition 4, at IIM Indore.

 Heritage- not just the train.
Me and my alter-ego (below), Bombay Presidency Golf Club guest house.

Death

I just read an online article about a guy wanting to die at 75.

He has a lot of nice ideas about why he wants to die at 75. One of them being that he does not want to burden others-kids or siblings-with taking care of him or his illnesses.

A very good reason is that he wants to be remembered as an active, independent, healthy person rather than an invalid or chronically ill patient.

He is not going to kill himself at 75, but he has opted out of medical tests (which I think is a great idea at any age unless it's a must), and any expensive treatment that will prolong his life but may not give him back his active life.

Even if you don't want to die at 75, his fundas about planning your final years are worth a read. Here is the link-
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/

Names and Brands

Parents, beware! Names are brands, and positioning a brand is easier when the name is in sync with what the brand is doing. So, think about what your kid's name will be. India has some great names coming out of our history, mythology, and collective cultures.

Ajatshatru is literally, a person who has no enemies. Loved by all, hated by none. Mamata, notwithstanding a prominent politician who signifies anything but, means love of a kind.

I like the sound of some names (may or may not have anything to do with the people behind it- I am not telling)- Alok, Meghna, Shweta, Neha, Shruti, Bala, Frane, Steve, Saumya, Gopal, Prabhakar, Vikas (who doesn't like development? :) ), anything with a Kaur following it (ha, ha), Srinivas, Pooja, Prarthana (you may have guessed why), Anupama, Roshni, Priya, Anuradha, Manju, Raghavendra, Samrendra, Shahida, Divya, Abhinav, Tanaya, Nikita, ...Ok, I can go on. Leslie, Robin, Shirley, Lauren, Ron, are some that are easy on the tongue, and these were/are some friends too.

The point is just that it is easier on the kids if parents give some thought to what the kids and the public at large may think about the name, or the ease with which they can say it.

Circumnavigating the U.S.- Part 2

This was our road trip no. 2 of its kind in the U.S. This involved touching places such as New York and Ohio (where a cousin each resided), and then Chicago, Detroit, across to South Dakota and Wyoming. Of course, Mount Rushmore was the major attraction in South Dakota. And the Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. The joy of actually watching The OLD FAITHFUL, a geyser that shoots water and steam at regular intervals, and soaking in the wild scenic beauty of the place, was worth the very long drive, which we did with my parents who were visiting from India.

We rounded it off with a visit to Los Angeles and Las Vegas before heading back to South Carolina where we started. Great memories, and a reason why I never really visited the US after I got back- I felt I had seen it all.

 Yellowstone Park (above) and Red Canyon, Arizona, below.

Alarmists

Let us try and clear the mist- I mean, from the alarmists. They are the ones who keep posting alarmist messages like-

Don't read the newspaper, it'll make your mind weak.
Don't eat pizza, it contains hidden micro-organisms that will cripple you.
Drinking Coke makes you impotent.
Morning walks/jogs can displace your arteries.
Ogling at guys/girls can make you blind.

You get the drift, right? So I decided if I can't beat them, I shall join them. Here I go-

Stay away from Arnab Goswami. He is too serious.
Stay away from Salman's films or you'll lose your shirt!
Stay away from investment bankers. If you don't, you'll lose your pants.
Stay away from parents. They tell you what to do.
Stay away from your teachers. Or you will start believing you are a nitwit.
Don't have kids. They make you cry.
Don't marry. Prevent Chapter 11/bankruptcy.

That's all for now. Back with more if you aren't 100% Satisfied with these.

Right to Recall

Anna Hazare had brought up this idea of a voter recalling an MLA or MP for non-performance. I think the concept is universally useful, not just in voting and politics. It is in fact, transcendental, because if God has this right and decides to use it, life could be so much smoother for the khuda ke bandey who remain on earth!

Remember, it is already practiced widely. Toyota has joined the list of car companies - used to be the Americans earlier- that recalls vehicles for some defect or the other, size of defect could be nano or mega. Publishers can withdraw books because a certain segment of humanity feels offended by it-even the non-reading kind, at times. It is easy to be offended, these days.

So, to get to the point, why not expand the scope of this RIGHT? We can have parents who are disgruntled recalling their children. Not from the playing ground to their homes, but permanently. They can then attempt to correct their mistake by having new children. Imagine how tough it gets for God, with 7 billion of us, to monitor quality?

I should have the right to recall any offensive words I have spoken to people and hurt them- I am talking of genuine hurt here, not the waiting-to-be-offended kind referred to earlier. This might make India and Pakistan friends, and Malik could become a messiah of peace and intelligence.

There should also be a right to recall bullets fired from a gun, which would make the National Rifle Association toothless, and save the lives of six-year-olds who have to die every time a lunatic (why was he not recalled?) goes trigger-happy. In this case, the victim should have the right to recall the bullets.

The possibilities are endless...

Parenting Blues

Just attended a panel discussion as a panel member titled 'Duvidha'- about confusion faced by parents of 9th class students about careers and life, and parenting. Rather scary, but had a few good panelists for company, including an IAF pilot, a Doctor, a theatre personality, so not so scary in the end. It was organised by One Foundation, an NGO in Nagpur.

Very interesting. Coincidentally, am reading a book written by Bill Cosby, the star of the Cosby Show, a very popular TV show of the 80s in the U.S., which talks about similar issues about the Black community in the U.S. The book, titled 'Come On, People', is meant to make parents aware of their responsibility in child-rearing if they decide to have children. He talks about the bad effects of gangsta rap, black English and other bad role models in media for black kids.

Bill Cosby was a very successful TV artist, and through light comedy, touched on a lot of important issues like parental control, kids' behaviour particularly teenage behaviour and so on.

The panel discussion got a very enthusiastic response from Nagpur parents, with a hall full of people who were invisible, because the spotlight was on the stage. Focused on our inspirations for our careers, and whether things were planned, or aided by parental or other pressures. A variety of choices and circumstances emerged, and there were probably some takeaways for everyone. For example, letting kids make the final decision about careers, after providing them some advice- Indian parents are still playing God too often.