Why Singles Are Important

 Marriage is considered a given, in most human societies. People have elaborate ceremonies around it, and event managers and pre-wedding-shoot shooters galore make enormous profits from these. Poor singles are often ignored by those who celebrate Doubles. 

But in my view, Singles are as important, if not more important. They are often thrown into leadership positions or start new movements, or cults. Sometimes after abandoning the spouse, but still..

They are free spirits, not burdened by what society demands of them. They have an independent opinion, and frequently express it too. They drink a lot of tea at tea stalls, improving the economy.

They usually have parents who are not happy about their being single, and have to ward off attempts to get them hitched. Dating sites and matrimonial spaces in newspapers do what they can to help the parents, or the few Singles who want to enter holy matrimony.

International Men's Day

Men think they rule the world..maybe they do, in office. But homes are mostly unruled by them, because they are never there, mostly. The race for a promotion, or meeting targets, or just sending money home (for migrant workers) keeps them busy.

It is the women who do the bulk of the work back home even today, which makes it a comfort zone for all who live there - a bit of nagging is a small price to pay for it! This is not to celebrate the unequal partnership, but to express gratefulness for women who do what it takes, in spite of many challenges. Hopefully, one day, men will return the favour in larger numbers.

If men can at least understand the situation, it is half the battle won. Thanks to the women in our lives. It is not one, but several women who are usually behind a successful man.

Article 15- Film Review

If you want topical, meaningful cinema, go no further! Go watch Article 15. By far, the best serious film of recent times. In fiction, there used to be a term used often, "hit him in the solar plexus" -this is that kind of film.

Probably loosely based on a real incident, it takes a realistic look at how things play out in investigating a complex situation (death of two young women) in a caste-entangled small town in India. The slow and deliberate progress of the investigation is unique, and so is the understated playing of their roles by almost everybody in the cast. But the subdued nature of the drama does not for a moment take away from the hard-hitting facts of the case. The direction and editing are superb.

I think this movie forces you to take a hard look at many things. If it succeeds in making people think of moving towards change, it would have achieved a purpose.

Chup- Book Review

This is one of the best books about Indian society and the values it propagates, that I have read. It lays bare our attitudes towards women in the starkest possible words. I think it is a must-read for women and men both, because we may just realise what we are doing to our women.

Conditioning has little to do with being urban or rural, poor or rich, educated or otherwise. Treating women badly or as a lesser human is all-pervasive, if this author's research is any indication. And her research is disturbing, to say the least. The very high percentage of women who are molested in their homes or outside it (the commute on public transport being one regular place for it) is shameful. And we are not even talking of the godman-rapist here.

But even worse is their being asked to shut up and not speak up (the title of the book, in Hindi). Not existing (virtually), not recognising their bodies, being ashamed of their opinions/desires, are some things women are trained for, apart from always pleasing others-men included, but ma-in-laws and others too. Of course, there would be exceptions, but these are a small percentage.

Devastating stuff that forces you to think, about where we are headed as a society. Ancient India with its Khajuraho and Kamasutra is a far cry from the mentality that we have now grown into, where even basic education about bodily functions and drives is not discussed. Women feel like unwanted beings (from the foetal stage onwards) or insignificant and unacknowledged workers in many homes, and carry that inferiority complex throughout their lives in many cases. Including the workplace, where they are often not asked for an opinion, or taken seriously when they express one.

Hopefully, we will change one day. An important book, I would say.

Deloitted

Just went and attended on behalf of IIM Indore, an event called the Deans' Summit organised very well by Deloitte. It was a multi-media sensory experience (can't help it, I teach/taught Services Marketing, so bear with me).

A dancing (OK, waving) robot on screen with a voice (over) would introduce each session's speaker, and see her/him off, and in one session, we actually met a robot who walked on to the stage and even spoke contextually.

The sessions addressed issues like Artificial Intelligence, Internet of Things, Cyber-everything including cyber-security, and many more current buzzwords like Big Data, Predictive Analytics and other kinds of it. Interspersed with examples from their consulting practice, it was a good mix of jargon and real application. One of the great attractions was speakers from social spheres-and sports. The founder of Teach for India, for example, was a passionate communicator, who spoke about transforming lives through education, and opportunity. Every kid deserves one! True that.

And of course, there was a fun evening too, with activities like cooking and karaoke-music and food go together, right?

Well done, from conception to execution. You are not a run-of-the-mill consultant, that's for sure!

Lipstick Under my Burkha- Film Review

It's an important film, about a very important topic, which is usually kept under the carpet- love and sexuality from a woman's perspective. Full marks for dealing with the subject, and some of its real ramifications. The difficulty of breaking out of traditions, and societal expectations, and hypocrisy. For instance, that women of a certain age should not have expectations of physical love. Ratna Pathak Shah's character is probably the one that draws the most empathy. She is also the best actress in the film (actor, actually), with no exceptions.

The film could have done with a bit of drama, though. It feels like it's going through the motions, too quickly. Some twists in the story, maybe a few light moments, would have made it that much more moving and powerful. It does make its points about the search for love in and out of marriage -and a search for the liberation that all young people look for. But I found better expressions of it in films like Masaan or Life in a Metro, compared with this one.

It is worth a watch, for bringing up issues that need to be, but as a film, it could have been a lot better. Maybe better actors would have done the trick-barring Ratna Pathak Shah, who is perfect.

The Benefits of Mutual Admiration Societies

I have been accused of running a Mutual Admiration Society (MAS) a few times. And I accept my guilt with glee. There are perks associated with it, that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Short of being a celebrity getting letters written in blood, this is the most you can expect. You have an admirer-one per society of this kind. Isn't that great? I think it is.

You can form many MASs. There is no restriction.

All you have to do is find a person you admire, and you have won half the battle. Even if the person concerned does not always admire you, there is always a chance he/she might. So why not? If not, it could well be a one-sided admiration. Makes you feel nice.

If the person you chose admires you, you really have something going. You can then bask in the glory of each other's admiration- to hell with the non-admirers. Admirable, isn't it?

You don't have to be somebody to start an MAS. You could be anybody-an IT coder, for instance. And you can start by admiring anyone- another IT-coding colleague, boss, underling, anyone at all.

My MASs have been with students and colleagues from places I worked in. Some have really caught on. I will not divulge names, but they have all proved to be invariably wonderful. Recommended highly, for the feel-good factor.

Cheers to Mutual Admiration Societies! Start one today.

Book Review-The Evolution of Everything by Matt Ridley

I am in the middle of a fascinating book about how everything has evolved, and will evolve. No, it does not tell you what will be the end result, but says that it won't be planned. Instead, it will evolve as a result of various events, pulls, pressures and so on. And this covers every aspect of life as we know it.

Almost anything you can think of is covered, not just our evolution from a Darwinian standpoint. Culture, religion, morality, civilisation, institutions, the Law, and almost everything. The central argument of the author is that you can only achieve so much through planning, and free enterprise actually works better than control. Human action helps, but design, planning,...very little.

All you control freaks out there, you need to take a chill pill, if what he argues is even half-correct. For instance, he finds that the Epicurean principles espoused by an ancient author were suppressed a long time because they were inconvenient to, and contradicted the Church. The author's writings were accidentally found and propagated to an extent (or at least were out in print) in the fourteenth century.

Many interesting fields bound together by a common thread. There are references to another book I had read a long time ago, Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene, about our evolution.

I can't wait to read the rest of it. See you later.

Talvar- Film Review

I don't remember what Meghna Gulzar made before this film. But this one is directed well, and the casting is perfect. Every character is well-portrayed by the actors. The standout actor of course, is Irfan Khan, who is fast becoming my favourite. His 'Lunch Box' I thought was outstanding, with Nimrat Kaur also doing a fantastic job there.

Anyway, this one is based on the Arushi Talwar case, and its dramatic turns from the first pronouncement that it was an honour killing, by the local cops, to a completely different possibility that the man-servant's friends were the killers, and back. The twists are brought out well, in the process exposing and shaming almost everyone. The Talwars themselves, without evidence, suspect their man-servant, until he is found dead. The local cops, for destroying most evidence, the CBI and the courts too, for their actions, the media for sensationalising, the public for baying for someone's blood. Almost no one comes out looking pretty, and that is the strength of this film.

It is definitely worth a watch, if only as a mirror to the times we live in, and ourselves. Impressive. The war of words in the Home Minister's office between the rival CBI teams is hilarious, and lightens up the proceedings briefly. Particularly, the takeoffs on "The Missionary Position," and the dialogue Hindustani router hai, jab marzi chalta hai..about the router going on and off on the night of the murder. The Tabu angle is unnecessary, and could have saved around five-seven minutes.

Wilde Quotes

Wit and Oscar Wilde have a correlation of 1.0, that is, high correlation. Sample some of these-

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

I live in terror of not being misunderstood.

It's perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely true.

I must decline your invitation on account of an engagement I am just about to make.

I always pass on good advice- it's the only thing one can do with it.

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played Dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Jessica and The Fourth Estate

I saw No One Killed Jessica yesterday. The impact of the film is like a Muhammad Ali punch in the solar plexus. The difference is, the punch would knock you out for a few hours, but this one gets you thinking, at least for some time, about ourselves as a society. Two other films which had a similar impact were A Wednesday, and Aamir (which I believe had the same director as Jessica). Aakrosh, about honour killings, was also good, though the punch was slightly held back, it seems.

The story was already there, but making it into a tight script and keeping the audience engrossed can still be difficult. Also, to make certain things stand out, effective dialogue is a necessity. The cop asking Vidya Balan, "Kaise logon ke saath ghoomte firte hain aap?" after every one of the 300 guests refuses to acknowledge they were present at the crime scene was very effective. Rani Mukherjee's unflinching attitude towards her work, and her acknowledgement that she made a mistake in not taking up the story earlier are other high points.

Vidya Balan has played the nerdy Sabrina very well indeed. She is one of my favorite actresses of the present time. What the movie also does is that it underscores that the demonised media sometimes is the only watchdog left in a democratic society, which sometimes begins to resemble a jungle. Watergate and the journos there who nalied Nixon also made this point. Hope to see more of this director.