Wit from Douglas Adams and Mark Twain

Here are some gems from two witty authors.

1. Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but a cabbage with a college education.

Familiarity breeds contempt- and children.

2. Douglas Adams (from Salmon of Doubt, a collection of his works)

In the old Soviet Union, they used to say that anything that wasn't forbidden was compulsory, and the trick was to remember which was which.

You can't ignore someone who isn't there, because that's not what ignore means.

...and I discover that the reason why my wife isn't talking to me any more is that she is in fact married to someone else.

Am I alone in finding the expression "it turns out" to be incredibly useful? It allows you to make swift, succint and authoritative connections between otherwise randomly unconnected statements without the trouble of explaining what your source of authority actually is. It's great.