Guide to Throwing a Tantrum

 Tantrums come naturally to kids..at least that's what we are taught to believe. But what about adult tantrums?

Husbands throw tantrums, wives do too. Sometimes the latter are silent ones, but unmistakable. 

Politicians are prone to throwing some, particularly when elections are close, or they are close to being thrown out of their ministerial portfolios.

Older people may be afraid to throw one, lest they get bundled off into an Old Home by the same kid whose tantrums they were forced to tolerate in his childhood.

Celebrities are always throwing one- otherwise they wouldn't be a celebrity.

The key to throwing a good tantrum- or an effective one, is that the audience should be the right one. If an Indian celebrity throws a tantrum in Japan, for instance, it won't work. They may just bow, and move on. Phir kya ukhaad loge aap?

Ticking Ticket Bomb

There are tickets where you pay for them, as in plane, train, bus or tram tickets. Also some entry tickets like to a movie, or circus, or concert. Or a parking/speeding ticket, which is your contribution towards speeding up a slowing economy.

But what I am referring to is a bonanza that enables you to holiday at taxpayers' expense-if you win. The ticket to contest an election, I mean. Kids whose lollipops have been snatched between 'the cup and the lip' don't throw such tantrums as we have seen seventy-plus politicos throw in the last few days. When these oldies were denied tickets.

At an age where you either retire to a forest in keeping with the Hindu tradition of sannyas, or play with your grandchildren at home, these worthies aspire to a kingdom of their dreams. They scream louder than their grandkids, or go into a sulk that would shame a Kaikeyi who sent Rama wandering for fourteen years.

Whether they have their faculties intact to do anything useful if elected is tough to figure out. In a nation of young people, as they keep reminding us all, aren't they totally out of place?

Why not buy a bead chain (rudraksha mala) and count the beads until it's time to permanently retire? But they'd rather count the greenbacks of whatever colour in the Swiss Alps, I presume. Oh, for a colourful life in the cause of THE PARTY! Maybe the party should buy them a one way ticket to the moon, as in the once-popular pop song. (Bappi copied it into a Hindi one sung by Usha Uthup).

Ni and Knee

Dedicated to some words ending with a ni - (a working knowledge of Hindi required)

Nani, as in "Hum unko nani yaad dila denge"- one of our former PMs.

Pani, as in a liquid that mankind has in plenty, except that it's mixed up with a lot of salt.

Advani, a person who is in a permanent tantrum and knee-jerk reacion, arguing to himself, "If that silent old guy can do it, why can't I?"

Soni, a term of endearment popular in Punjab, and therefore Bollywood, as in "soni kudi."

Honi, the opposite of anhoni, used effectively by Amar, Akbar and Anthony, who specialise in making things happen.

Akashvani, literally 'the voice from the sky' used tellingly in our epics to warn people of things good or bad. 

Shani, the planet god of Saturday, who specialises in not letting things happen, unless appeased. Resembles one of the above 'ni's?