Aircraft Maintenance Jokes

I hope these are jokes, or else I will be scared to fly from here onwards..These are logs of complaints by pilots and responses by maintenance crews.

Complaint- Something loose in the cockpit.
Response- Something tightened in cockpit.

C- Suspected crack in windshield.
R- Suspect you are right.

C- Mouse in cockpit.
R- Cat installed.

C- DME volume unbelievably loud.
R- Volume set to more believable level.

C- IFF inoperative.
R- IFF is always inoperative in Off Mode.

Daft Definitions

Some fun de(finitions)-

Shoe- A piece of leather wrapped around your foot.

Lipstick- Lip-synching wax with weird colours.

Car- A hollow piece of metal with four wheels driven on a moon-like surface on earth.

Aircraft- A hollow piece of metal intent on taking off, except when it is fogged out.

IPL- A system devised by scammers, for scammers with spectators’ money. Spectacular.

TRAI- The regulator that gives everyone a ‘trying’ time.

RBI- An entity that always holds your ‘interest’.