Pronouncing the Stuff

Renunciation is different from pronunciation. And it's tough to get both right.

We in India take pride in the fact that we are about speaking English the way we like it, and particularly take pride in our regional English. From a long time ago, jokes about regional accents have proliferated, and before I forget, I want to recount some of them.

Like in school, we would ask a Bengali to say, "Venkatramana, Venkatramana, why are you walking in the verandah," with results that were hilarious to the rest.

Or the famous one about a Gujju who went to the to a toy shop and instructed the attendant to "rape the doll" -all he meant was "wrap" or pack the doll.

The Andhravaadus generally pronounce the 'd' in bridge very hard, and it's hard to make them bu'd'ge from their stance.

Easterners like Odiyas confuse Boss with Bus and Bose (the name), so you never know whether the boss took a bus or missed it. Or if Bose did, if he wasn't the boss.

It's always a player to speak with a Punju, for that's how they like to pronounce 'pleasure'.

And with a Tam, it's usually 'money' above all, only you say it like Mani.

More 'eggzamples' can be found everywhere you look (ghati ending).

Tollywood of the East

I thought Tollywood was a word used for movies from the south- Telugu films. Therefore I was surprised to find a new Tollywood rising in the east. The rising Bengali film industry is referred to as Tollywood in today's newspaper - I suppose it arises from some of it being located in Tollygunge (my assumption).

These various 'woods' gave rise to some pertinent thoughts. What's a new wannabe heroine in one of these film industries likely to be? A babe in the woods? Also, what's an actor who has no expression on his face- like Manoj Kumar of yesteryear or John Abraham of current years, likely to be called? A block of wood?

Given that starlets now debut in one neck of the wood and migrate to others, would we consider these as bridges being built between various woods? And with jingoistic controversies over dubbed films from Hollywood being released in Indian lingo, are we trying now to burn the bridges between the original wood and our various variations?

Maybe our contribution to global afforestation and all the pleasant consequences therefrom will be in the form of the many 'woods' we have created- Kollywood (Kerala), Mollywood (Madras of yore), the two Tollywoods, and the Big Daddy of them all, Bollywood. Not sure if Bhojpuri films and others have the respectability of a 'wooden' tag yet.