What Got You Here...

I think there is a book titled 'What Got You Here Won't Get You There.' I thought that would be obvious. An Apple phone with GPS is now needed to go anywhere. But that makes me think- this is dangerous territory, as you know. I am now imagining all kinds of spoofy titles for books that could be written; if push comes to shove, I may write some of them myself, while the grey cells are still functioning. Be prepared for the following titles then.

Why Men Clean Their Cars and Women Their Homes, by Dr. Jobless Jones, Ph.D.

How to Unfriend People who Send you Candy Crush Requests, by Hail Carnegie

How Jobs Cleaned up Windows, by his ex-Cleanup Consultant

How Pepsi Uncovered Coke's Secret Formula, by a former chief of the KGB

Enemies, by the scriptwriter of Friends

The Cosby No-show, by the Five Find-outers

How to Kidnap Schoolchildren, by The Organization

The Highs and Lows of Oil Prices by OPEC

That Sinking Feeling, co-authored by CEOs of Spicejet and Malaysian airlines

Alarmists

Let us try and clear the mist- I mean, from the alarmists. They are the ones who keep posting alarmist messages like-

Don't read the newspaper, it'll make your mind weak.
Don't eat pizza, it contains hidden micro-organisms that will cripple you.
Drinking Coke makes you impotent.
Morning walks/jogs can displace your arteries.
Ogling at guys/girls can make you blind.

You get the drift, right? So I decided if I can't beat them, I shall join them. Here I go-

Stay away from Arnab Goswami. He is too serious.
Stay away from Salman's films or you'll lose your shirt!
Stay away from investment bankers. If you don't, you'll lose your pants.
Stay away from parents. They tell you what to do.
Stay away from your teachers. Or you will start believing you are a nitwit.
Don't have kids. They make you cry.
Don't marry. Prevent Chapter 11/bankruptcy.

That's all for now. Back with more if you aren't 100% Satisfied with these.